I just can't get over him. help please!

my "new" boyfriend and my ex are good friends and we are all in the same class and my ex and I are still good friends...

i think I love my new boyfriend but we often quarrel and nearly broke up about 3 times... but we try to work thing out... BUT somehow I still think of my ex everyday and he often behaves very flirty (when I would not have a boyfriend at the moment, my ex and I would make out every weekend like it was 9 months after the break up...until the holiday began and we didn't see each other often and I started dating my new bf) my new boyfriend makes the same mistakes I have made in my old relationship (now I exactly know which problems my ex had with me...)

so I love my boyfriend but somehow I still like my ex very much but if I would break up I have no guarantee that my ex will have a relationship with me and if he does I have no guarantee that it will lost for a long time...and if he does not I know I would feel lonely and miss my boyfriend who I have now and want him back

so what should I do?!

and maybe I should mention that somehow I am more attracted to my ex the chemistry is right but I can`t really imagine to do more with my boyfriend than kissing him and somehow I think he is a bad kisser :S


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  • anonymous,

    From what you are saying, it sounds like you are afraid of what things would be like without a boyfriend. And, perhaps putting up a shield to potentially protect yourself from being hurt by your ex boyfriend in case he doesn't want you back. I dated a guy that I knew things weren't going to workout with, but I brokeup with him and started doing bad in school. I got back together with him because the depression of not having someone effected my grades. I was terribly afraid of being alone. The fact that you still have feelings for your ex, and see him on a regular basis is going to continue to effect your current relationship. You compare him to your ex, and seem to rank him lower on many levels. If your ex wasn"t in the picture, you might have stronger feelings for him; but, then again, you might not. Maybe it isn't just your ex that is the problem, maybe your current boyfriend just isn't the right match for you. When I finally brokeup with my boyfriend, I did it because I knew it had to be done. I couldn't lie to myself anymore, and knew it was wrong to continue dating someone for security. I surrounded myself by my friends after the breakup to distract me from going back to him. I still think about him sometimes, but it is only natural to miss an ex a little bit. I hope this is helpful in helping you decide what to do.


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