Ex girlfriend who wants to be alone, help?

My ex girlfriend broke up with me suddenly little over a month ago, saying that she wanted time to get her head straight, she had been in a 4 year relationship with her ex and a 7 month relationship with me, and she said that time alone is something she has not had the chance to do. There is no other guy and there seems to be no potential guys, but her ex before me has never fully disappeared and has flooded her with texts over 9 months trying to get her back. She has reassured me that she won't take him back as he treated her bad and has shown how overly needy he is.

BTW, I have played it cool throughout, I haven't begged or pleaded. I decided to leave her alone, only replying to her contact, no initiating. This way I was showing her that I can survive without her and that I was respecting her need for space. I hoped she would miss me. It has worked to an extent as I have heard from her and met up with her numerous times. We work together so I can't completely disappear. In work, we flirt a lot, there is sexual tension, a lot of playfulness and recapping on good memories. It all seems positive, but I feel that I have hit a brick wall, as she is still cautious towards me, even a month later, saying that when we meet up socially, it "isn't to rebuild the relationship", and warns me off with, "it could be a while before I want another relationship".

I recently decided to stop making plans with her and let her ask me out, as I want her to suggest it for a change. I feel like its one step forward, 2 steps back with her, I have upset her without knowing a few times since the breakup (a joke taken the wrong way, being snappy with me for no reason, etc). She would get teary and I wouldn't know why? Then I would leave it a few days, have a great day with her, then the process repeats. She doesn't have a social life as her ex was responsible for her friends disappearing, she will just spend her nights at home, doing nothing, I don't see how she can prefer that to the excitement I would provide?! She used to literally worship me... I don't get her?

I know many of you will tell me not to wait for her, I'm not and I have told her the same, but I'm struggling to meet someone else and my heart believes she will come to her senses...Any advice, similar situations to share?


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  • She broke up with you because she didn't want to date you. That's the reality of it no matter what excuse she uses or how she spins it. Remind yourself of this and try and date other girls.

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