How can I get my Ex-boyfriend back? (please read the details of the story)

thank you for your time...i know it's long!

My Ex-boyfriend and I had an 8 months relationship. Everything is perfect and we both love each other like hell.

He broke up with me 3 times though:

1st time was because I hid something from him (trust issue)

2nd time he was confused and didn't know what he wanted

3rd time (yesterday) he broke up with me because of a rule he put and I said I will do it and didn't. Also because we lately have been fighting a lot.

The Rule:

We both go to the same university. He is a Junior and I am a Sophomore. He asked me to not call him during the week or sms him and to contact him only when something is needed and he'll reply. That meant that we minimize contact as much as possible so he can concentrate on his studies. In addition, he wanted to go out only once a week and it wasn't fixed meaning we could not go out on a date for two to three weeks depending on his studies. He didn't tell me in return that he will do effort to see me or make time for me at all. Of course this rule appeared one sided to me and a bit selfish. We fought over it a lot and every time I ask him to explain it to me and he explains it the same way. Also he is always busy or stressed or tired...rarely in a good mood. I agreed on this rule, but I ignored it. I know that was so wrong but the rule was illogical by all means.

Yesterday he broke up with me because of it and because we fought a lot lately. He said that the relationship is stressful for him and he doesn't see it going anywhere. then he told me that him being cold doesn't mean that he doesn't have strong feelings for me. He said he loves me a lot, but can't bare it. I told him to take a break cause the whole thing is stupid and doesn't deserve a breakup and I know I was wrong and willing to make it up, but he refused and was so stubborn. he kissed me and hugged me and offered we'd be friends and told me to wash my face cause he didn't want me to appear weak or crying in front of everyone. then he simply left.

the following day we were on the same bus and he asked if I was OK and how I got home the previous day and was determined to know. then I didn't see him the whole day. he disappeared. All of his friends and my friends said he will regret breaking up with me cause the whole issue is not worth a break up at all. They explained that it was wrong of me to promise something and don't apply it but yet again he could have punished me or took a break. They were very disappointed in his reaction and told me he is to technical and practical which is unfair to me cause everybody knew how much I love him and how good the relationship was.

His friend talked to him and informed me that he is very upset with the breakup and loves me a lot but he sees that this is for the best.

HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM BACK...I LOVE HIM A LOT AND HE DOES TOO BUT HE IS TOO STUBBORN!

i know I did a mistake but I am willing to change it cause it is so stupid! help me pleas


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i've been in almost exact situation.
    honestly he probably just doesn't want to be with you anymore for stupid teenage boy reasons and keeps coming up with "logical" reasons to end it w/o crushing your heart. when my boyfriend of 8 months did this, I just ended his misery and did something I KNEW would make him break up with me. youknow what I mean? but you can def get him back. I was completeeely destroyed when we were over and I cried for a month straight. but eventually I had him calling ME everyday and trying to get back together.

    these are VERY important ruless to follow, do NOT DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT:

    1. DONT ACT DESPERATE. don't make it obvious to him how much you miss and need him. guys are very turned off by this and will think you're annoying and desperate. make it seem like you have moved on and can do better anyway. try talking to some new guyss to accomplish this.
    2. DONT CONTACT HIM. let HIM contact YOU. if may take time and I know it is so sososo hard to not text or call him but you really have to resist the urge. eventually, if he truly had feelings for you like he probably said he did, he will miss you just as much and gradually start trying to talk to you again.
    3. ACT BUSY. if he does end up calling you, keep the convo short! ask how he's doing, if he's talking to any new girls and vice versaa. act content with life after the break up. after a few minutes tell him you have to go. wait until his next call and repeat. he'll be droollinn.

    basically you need to give him the time to realize he wants you back. and if he ever was "in love" with you or really cared for you, I promise you he will. if not, I know it really sucks and doesn't make you feel any better but he wasn't worth it anyways. so cliche but it's truee.
    never make someone your priority that only makes you their option.
    GOOD LUCKKk!&
    if he doesn't kiss the floor you walk on bby girl, find one that does! :)))

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    • Thank you so much sweety :)

      i feel you understand where I am comin from :D

      look yesterday he was teasing me and the day before!

      check your inbox and imma tell ya what happened...i really need your opinion and advice if OK with you :D

      thanks again so much :)

    • Okay :) ill checkk ittt

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Huh... Hm...

    Chemistry dies out like a fire if you don’t stoke it once in awhile.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “he wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push him away – fast;

    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;

    - Telling him to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;

    - Writing letters to try to make him understand how you feel is

    counter-productive;

    -Phoning his parents and try to convince them to talk

    sense into his is a sure way to get ignored;

    -Calling the new girl in his life and telling him to leave him

    alone will instantly turn him against you

    How to get him back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract him back

    - Start seeing other guys. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask him to get back, just have great time together, let he see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!

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    • Thank you so much IceDude :)

      i really appreciate your reply and it was helpful.

      The day he broke up with me I cried to him and begged him, but after he left I didn't call or sms or even tried to contact him at all.

      I knw for sure he loves me cause he has been avoiding me since the break up and he showed indirect interest in ma life. I kindly ask you to check your inbox I sent you what happened. I would kindly like to know your opinion. thanks :)

  • from a guys perspective... you're starting to sound like the crazy stalker ex that texts the friends to find out what he's doing. if he asked for his stuff and followed through, my guess is that its over. pretty much a guy's sign. I'd have to agree with cakelin on the rules. GL

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What Girls Said 2

  • Girl, there is a hope, don't you worry! Look, fidelity is an “absolute must” in a relationship.

    If you accept that, you’ll be fine, trust me. Guys want a girl who isn’t spying every one of his moves, where is he going, and what is he doing. Women often think that all what guys want is sex and that he will run for the next prettier face or sexier body he sees.
    But that myth isn’t true.

    Great guys know that fidelity is main ingredient for a wonderful relationship. And he will keep that, and always be faithful to you, and to your love. Don’t ignore this fact; you never know when it’s going to be too late.
    Guys want someone who is supportive.

    Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and persistent about trying to alter them. This is a crucial mistake. Guys can be manipulated, it’s true, but they see their partnerships as support systems.

    Don’t listen to your jealous friends advices, you deserve a great guy but you need to create yourself an ideal situation for guys to be adore by you.

    The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is always willing to criticize, then she may lose her man.

    I got nothing from this, but it seams you need some help and I’m just telling you how it looks from their point of view. If you’re interesting in finding more about what is necessary to find or keep the guy you think you deserve, check out this link

    I hope I was helpful!
    See you around!

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    • Thank you so much for your time :)

      imma do as you said and the link you sent is really useful thank you :)

  • Huh, let see...

    Chemistry dies out like a fire if you don’t stoke it once in awhile.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “he wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push him away – fast;
    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;
    - Telling him to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;
    - Writing letters to try to make him understand how you feel is
    counter-productive;
    -Phoning his parents and try to convince them to talk
    sense into his is a sure way to get ignored;
    -Calling the new girl in his life and telling him to leave him
    alone will instantly turn him against you

    How to get him back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract him back

    - Start seeing other guys. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask him to get back, just have great time together, let he see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!

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    • Thank you so much for your time and effort really :)

      i really appreciate it so much ...you're absolutely right :)

      thx again

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