thank you for your time...i know it's long!
My Ex-boyfriend and I had an 8 months relationship. Everything is perfect and we both love each other like hell.
He broke up with me 3 times though:
1st time was because I hid something from him (trust issue)
2nd time he was confused and didn't know what he wanted
3rd time (yesterday) he broke up with me because of a rule he put and I said I will do it and didn't. Also because we lately have been fighting a lot.
We both go to the same university. He is a Junior and I am a Sophomore. He asked me to not call him during the week or sms him and to contact him only when something is needed and he'll reply. That meant that we minimize contact as much as possible so he can concentrate on his studies. In addition, he wanted to go out only once a week and it wasn't fixed meaning we could not go out on a date for two to three weeks depending on his studies. He didn't tell me in return that he will do effort to see me or make time for me at all. Of course this rule appeared one sided to me and a bit selfish. We fought over it a lot and every time I ask him to explain it to me and he explains it the same way. Also he is always busy or stressed or tired...rarely in a good mood. I agreed on this rule, but I ignored it. I know that was so wrong but the rule was illogical by all means.
Yesterday he broke up with me because of it and because we fought a lot lately. He said that the relationship is stressful for him and he doesn't see it going anywhere. then he told me that him being cold doesn't mean that he doesn't have strong feelings for me. He said he loves me a lot, but can't bare it. I told him to take a break cause the whole thing is stupid and doesn't deserve a breakup and I know I was wrong and willing to make it up, but he refused and was so stubborn. he kissed me and hugged me and offered we'd be friends and told me to wash my face cause he didn't want me to appear weak or crying in front of everyone. then he simply left.
the following day we were on the same bus and he asked if I was OK and how I got home the previous day and was determined to know. then I didn't see him the whole day. he disappeared. All of his friends and my friends said he will regret breaking up with me cause the whole issue is not worth a break up at all. They explained that it was wrong of me to promise something and don't apply it but yet again he could have punished me or took a break. They were very disappointed in his reaction and told me he is to technical and practical which is unfair to me cause everybody knew how much I love him and how good the relationship was.
His friend talked to him and informed me that he is very upset with the breakup and loves me a lot but he sees that this is for the best.
WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM BACK...I LOVE HIM A LOT AND HE DOES TOO BUT HE IS TOO STUBBORN!
i know I did a mistake but I am willing to change it cause it is so stupid! help me pleas
Most Helpful Girl
i've been in almost exact situation.
honestly he probably just doesn't want to be with you anymore for stupid teenage boy reasons and keeps coming up with "logical" reasons to end it w/o crushing your heart. when my boyfriend of 8 months did this, I just ended his misery and did something I KNEW would make him break up with me. youknow what I mean? but you can def get him back. I was completeeely destroyed when we were over and I cried for a month straight. but eventually I had him calling ME everyday and trying to get back together.
these are VERY important ruless to follow, do NOT DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT:
1. DONT ACT DESPERATE. don't make it obvious to him how much you miss and need him. guys are very turned off by this and will think you're annoying and desperate. make it seem like you have moved on and can do better anyway. try talking to some new guyss to accomplish this.
2. DONT CONTACT HIM. let HIM contact YOU. if may take time and I know it is so sososo hard to not text or call him but you really have to resist the urge. eventually, if he truly had feelings for you like he probably said he did, he will miss you just as much and gradually start trying to talk to you again.
3. ACT BUSY. if he does end up calling you, keep the convo short! ask how he's doing, if he's talking to any new girls and vice versaa. act content with life after the break up. after a few minutes tell him you have to go. wait until his next call and repeat. he'll be droollinn.
basically you need to give him the time to realize he wants you back. and if he ever was "in love" with you or really cared for you, I promise you he will. if not, I know it really sucks and doesn't make you feel any better but he wasn't worth it anyways. so cliche but it's truee.
never make someone your priority that only makes you their option.
if he doesn't kiss the floor you walk on bby girl, find one that does! :)))0