Back in the Saddle? How to date again after a breakup.

After getting out of a long term relationship, I feel like it's time to start dating again...but I feel really out of practice! How have you gotten back in the swing of dating after a breakup? For the guys out there, how can you tell that a girl is single/open for conversation at a bar or any other location where you meet single women? Are there certain things I can do to let guys know I'm interested?



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  • I have been on a vigerous dating spree for about a few months now and here is what I have learned: Girls don't do a great job of letting guys know they want to be talked to! That being said here are my tips combined with what I do know from those girls that were outgoing enough, it's best if I put this in two scenarios; the sober scene and the drunk scene. The more quality guy will approach you in the day, generally (more confident, generally not looking to take you home that night)

    SOBER SCENE (Coffee Shop):


    -Sit so you can see as much of the venue as possible

    -If you cross eyes with a cute guy, make sure to smile and hold it for at least two seconds

    -clear off table space on the other side of the table if the coffee shop is full (a cute guy may ask for a seat, and it's easier for him to do so if he feels he isn't making you move all your crap); conversely, it's plenty OK to offer a guy a place to sit if there is limited space.

    -Dress cute but not slutty;

    -wear louder shoes (sure to get the quiet coffee shop looking at you) just make sure they aren't too loud.

    DON'TS / Try not to do:

    -Bring friends with you

    -wear your headphones

    -keeping a stern, studious look

    -remain static (make sure you move around, goto the bathroom so you are noticed)

    -look anxious/frustrated

    DRUNK SCENE (Bar): (very similar to above with some small tweaks)


    -The Darker the bar, the skankier you can dress and still be considered classy

    -go to the bar alone and make eye contact with a smile to those guys you wish to meet, make conversation with the bartender

    -if you must bring a friend, make sure it's a girl friend but don't look at each other the whole time like you haven't seen each other in a while, look around like you are actually looking for a guy to talk to.

    -If you see a guy that you want to talk to, walk by him, brush up against him, spill on him. He should take it from there.


    -bring guys with you; if you must, make sure it's a mixed group and you are standing next to girls more often

    -appear jittery, it puts off the psycho-factor

    -be friendly by initiating converation, but DON"T be that girl with a crazy, loud, otherwise obnoxious personality or laugh. I find this happens with the more desperate girls.

    Anywhere and everywhere, here are some rules to follow:

    - A sincere, friendly smile with eye contact goes a LONG way for getting a guy to know that you are interested.

    - If you are sitting at the bar (which I don't recommend, I always recommend standing and being mobile), make your body language outward, in that you should find a corner spot and try to not always be facing the bar; give the guys a chance to see your face.


    • Furthermore, since you used the word "saddle" in your question. . . you'll never what kind of advertisements I'm getting. (I'll give you a hint: you put them on a horse so you can ride them)

    • Hahah thank you! ...and I see what you mean about the saddle ads...

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