Will my ex come back to me and our child?

My boyfriend of 2 years and father of our 8 month old child recently broke up with me, after her told me it was a long time coming. I have a few issues that I know I need to work on and have been since he left, I do not blame myself 100% for the break up and niether does he. I was controlling, ungrateful, smothering, made fun of him in front of other people and we hadn't had sex in over a year! I was also to the point where I didn't even want him to kiss me. I was basically not trying. He has an explosive personality and has already admited he held his anger in til he blew up and knows that was wrong. He left a week and a half ago and for the first week I called him, texted him and found any excuse to be in contact with him, I know big mistake! He still wants to see his son every weekend so I have decided this week that I would give him his space and let him call me when he's coming over to see his son. Last weekend he came over and we ended up having sex a couple of times, I know bad idea. We discussed it after and both agreed it wasn't a good idea and it was just confusing things. Before we did it though he made it very clear that he was not staying because he is still mad at me. I regret doing that now but can not take back what happened. While he was out I asked him if I should cancel our family pictures on the 13th and the surprise I had planned for his birthday and he told me to wait. He is currently renting a room month to month (or so he told me).I am missing him a lot and I gave him the keys back to the house, told him this place was his still too, I knew he needed space and I would be here when he wanted to come home. In my situation I go with the saying, you don't realize what you got til its gone. I have thought long and hard and I don't just want him back because he's gone, I took him for granted before and never realized how bad it had gotten. I just want to know what people think, do you think he's coming back, is there anything I can do to improve my chances or should I move on and forget about him (as much as I can considering he will be in my life for the rest of my life since we have a child together). Oh I forgot to mention I also asked him last weekend that if he knew he was never coming back, would he tell me and he said yes.

Updates:
We are back together, not living together because he says we should take it slow. I'm just a little confused and angry. Angry because while he is out living his life, I am at home everyday taking care of our child and I feel like he should be here too.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • honestly, if I was a guy I PROBABLY would have done the same thing but that doesn't make it right. sounds like you need to work on yourself a little and he needs to work on holding everything in. if he does that each time he gets p*ssed off NOTHING will work between y'all. you can't be controlling, ungrateful, smothering, and sure as sh*t can't make fun of him in front of other people..in a relationship you're a team you back each other up...you can tease each other a little but you can't break his ego like that. he can't storm out of the house every time he gets p*ssed off though, especially in front of your son. that'll leave the problem unsolved and both people still mad and possibly make your kid wonder if he's ever coming back each time he walks out the door. it's good that you're leaving the ball in his court like that though and not pushing..one thing I've noticed STRONGLY with guys, is you can't force things with them. forcing them to do things or forcing answers out of them doesn't work which just makes the argument escalate so by you saying, "you're still welcome here if you want" is good. even if things DONT work out between y'all, clearly he will still be there to see your son so it's not like he'll be out of your life forever.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to go to therapy and get help to work through issues. Maybe if after a long while you have matured he will see it and come back.

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  • honestly if I was him I wouldn't go back to you if I was treated like that, and because I wouldn't guarantee that you will be back to the old you after a while of getting back :/..

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What Girls Said 5

  • First, work on yourself,you can't control no body but yourself,you have got a lot of growing up to do! You have a baby now,that's who you need to be focus on,if he love you he'll come back! No one want's to be mistreated,so work on your flaws and hopefully things get better for you and your love! God Bless You!

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  • wow...all I can say is work on yourself. But know that it is likely his fault just as much as it is yours

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  • they never come back, find someone else.

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  • be loving to him. start over. try writing love letters to him over email or something. call him once in a while when you know he is not busy and talk about life and love and the good times you use to have. remind him why you love him so much. ask him to tell you why he loves you so much. and go on more dates together, ask him to hang out as a family to a park or to a restaurant... you know? Go on dates, and leave the kid at your moms or something. And then hopefully you two will fall head over heels over each other and realize life is empty without one another. Well, and what is with the no sex for over a year thing? My guy and I have sex at least once a day, it's just sex and it takes only 20 min for the deed to be done but if your relationship is deep and committed then you should do it to keep it that way... that's what I think.

    well good luck

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    • I did suggest a date and he said its too early for that. the reason we didn't have sex is a lot of medical problems with pregnancy, birth and then hormone levels after... long story, anyway needless to say I regret it.

  • give it time...only time can tell. my boyfriend left me and my one and a half month old daughter because most of the same reasons as you stated above. I was pretty controlling and VERY jealous...i would call him names and cut him down because I was super insecure and it made me think that I wasn't good enough for him.

    honestly we never got back together. I would do anything just to be together again but I know it's not going to happen anytime soon...and it's been 2 years. =(

    just give it time and try and change...and make it very known to him you are trying to fix everything,

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    • Does he still visit his daughter at least? I'm so sorry to hear that... is there anything that you did try to get him back, if you don't mind me asking I would like some more details on your break up and post break up... if not that's fine too.

    • She is actually living with him right now and we see each other all the time and spend time with our daughter. it feels like we are still together...we still have sex and tell each other we love one another and go out every now and then but we just don't have a title to us anymore. I tried to not be a jealous and freak out over things as much....but I still do it. that is deff the #1 problem with me and what is keeping us apart. I don't call him names as much anymore and am trying to fix the issue

    • S I have with myself first before trying to get back together again. just gotta work on my anger and my extreme sensitivity, and insecurities about myself. after I fix that I know that we will be ready to be together again =)

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