My boyfriend of 2 years and father of our 8 month old child recently broke up with me, after her told me it was a long time coming. I have a few issues that I know I need to work on and have been since he left, I do not blame myself 100% for the break up and niether does he. I was controlling, ungrateful, smothering, made fun of him in front of other people and we hadn't had sex in over a year! I was also to the point where I didn't even want him to kiss me. I was basically not trying. He has an explosive personality and has already admited he held his anger in til he blew up and knows that was wrong. He left a week and a half ago and for the first week I called him, texted him and found any excuse to be in contact with him, I know big mistake! He still wants to see his son every weekend so I have decided this week that I would give him his space and let him call me when he's coming over to see his son. Last weekend he came over and we ended up having sex a couple of times, I know bad idea. We discussed it after and both agreed it wasn't a good idea and it was just confusing things. Before we did it though he made it very clear that he was not staying because he is still mad at me. I regret doing that now but can not take back what happened. While he was out I asked him if I should cancel our family pictures on the 13th and the surprise I had planned for his birthday and he told me to wait. He is currently renting a room month to month (or so he told me).I am missing him a lot and I gave him the keys back to the house, told him this place was his still too, I knew he needed space and I would be here when he wanted to come home. In my situation I go with the saying, you don't realize what you got til its gone. I have thought long and hard and I don't just want him back because he's gone, I took him for granted before and never realized how bad it had gotten. I just want to know what people think, do you think he's coming back, is there anything I can do to improve my chances or should I move on and forget about him (as much as I can considering he will be in my life for the rest of my life since we have a child together). Oh I forgot to mention I also asked him last weekend that if he knew he was never coming back, would he tell me and he said yes.
Most Helpful Girl
honestly, if I was a guy I PROBABLY would have done the same thing but that doesn't make it right. sounds like you need to work on yourself a little and he needs to work on holding everything in. if he does that each time he gets p*ssed off NOTHING will work between y'all. you can't be controlling, ungrateful, smothering, and sure as sh*t can't make fun of him in front of other people..in a relationship you're a team you back each other up...you can tease each other a little but you can't break his ego like that. he can't storm out of the house every time he gets p*ssed off though, especially in front of your son. that'll leave the problem unsolved and both people still mad and possibly make your kid wonder if he's ever coming back each time he walks out the door. it's good that you're leaving the ball in his court like that though and not pushing..one thing I've noticed STRONGLY with guys, is you can't force things with them. forcing them to do things or forcing answers out of them doesn't work which just makes the argument escalate so by you saying, "you're still welcome here if you want" is good. even if things DONT work out between y'all, clearly he will still be there to see your son so it's not like he'll be out of your life forever.1