Ex girlfriend wants to be friends help!

We broke up a few weeks ago now and after not taking it well at first I accepted the break up and recently she's been texting and/or calling me everyday to talk about normal stuff in our lives that we always did. I'm confused because our talks are pretty much the same as when we were together but she keeps wanting to establish that we are only friends. I can understand we are best friends and she wants to keep that but it's confusing me because I wasn't the one who broke it off and I want her back and she knows that. Do you all think she is keeping this contact because she does see a future back with me or is there maybe some other reason. She obviously hasn't said anything about getting back together in the future but I have no idea what she might be thinking.


0|0
53

Most Helpful Girl

  • She's probably seen what life is like without you (to a degree, it's only been a few weeks after all) and she realizes that she doesn't want to continue her life without having you there.

    However this doesn't mean she wants you back. I'm sorry to say that, but I have been through something similar and I wish someone had of told me that, it would of saved a lot of heartache.

    The thing is, you can be friends with her if you want to, continue how things are going. But are you going to feel better for that? Won't you want her as your girlfriend and not a friend? She isn't stupid, she's made it clear she only wants to be friends...which means that she is being honest with you from day one, so that if you ever turn around to her and say "you led me on" she can say she didn't, because she was upfront about what kind of relationship she was willing to have with you.

    What she is doing is in some ways selfish. It's true that she probably does miss you and the relationship that you had however if you are friends with her and still talk about the same things you did when you were together, in her mind nothing has changed. She is still getting what she wants from you, the attention, the texts, the calls. But she isn't willing to commit.

    If I were you I would turn down friendship and walk away. I know how much that hurts but I promise you'll be far better off in the long run.

    0|1
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • If she's making it clear that she wants to be "just friends," she probably doesn't want to mend things. She probably feels guilty about breaking up with you, and wants to make the break up easier on you. It could also be because she doesn't want you to disappear completely from her life, but also doesn't want you to be a big part of it anymore. And like the other people have said, it could be so that she can take advantage of you: sex, getting you to do favors, etc.

    Being friends may seem like a great idea, but it's really not. You'll still have those feelings for her.

    My suggestion? The "No Contact" Rule: No texts/phone calls/e-mails, etc.

    1) Tell her you're not ready to be friends just yet. You need to be completely over her before you can make this step. This means no contact what-so-ever on either side unless 100% necessary.

    2) Use the time to get over her, and accept that there's probably no way of getting back together.

    3) Use the time to find happiness and realize what you really want in life. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can move on and find someone who really cares for you.

    4) You may find that you don't want her to be a part of your life at all. If you still want to be friends, let her know that you are ready to start communicating again.

    0|1
    0|0
  • She is using you. Why would you want to hear about her future husband or whatever. You should marry your best friend... or not be friends at all with your former. She needs to realize that she is abusing your friendship and expecting you to be over her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She most likely is using you as a "safety net." She feels comfortable and is used to having you in your life, and she doesn't want anything to change. You need to stop talking to her cold turkey. It will help you move on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • get rid of her

    0|0
    0|1

What Guys Said 3

  • Stop talking to her. She wants to have you in her life but not be with you anymore. The friendship ended when you became a couple and feelings were involved. Could you see her sitting on other guys, holding other guys, kissing other guys? By "being there", you will give yourself a front row seat to all of that, thus making you miserable in the process. She doesn't want you back the way you want her, so it's a conflict of interest. Move on, date other girls, and never communicate with your ex again. Save yourself from the pain and an emotional breakdown.

    0|0
    0|0
  • nooooooo hold on let me repeat! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! that's a no no. She is looking for comfort, this is her way of dealing with the pain. If she's made it clear tha she just wants to be friends, then you tell her that you are not ready for that. you need to work on yourself, get over her. It's tempting to answer her because the feelings are still there , but trust me believe me, you're going to end up being more hurt if you sit there and holding on to false hope.

    0|0
    0|0
  • dude, tell her to suck your one eyed trouser snake, or sling her slutty little hook!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;