Ex girlfriend - what does she want?

My girlfriend of a year recently broke up with me not really giving me a reason I accepted it as much as it hurt me and after her ignoring me for weeks we've been talking again but just as friends nothing more. Last night things got weird she was drunk and texted me to pick her up from a bar I was sleeping and didn't realize. I finally woke up after about 20 texts and calls of her saying who are you with and just accusing me of being with someone else. When I answered her call she was pretty much going crazy and I was just saying you left me you wanted this and stuff like that. She also made sure to tell me she's been seeing someone and he's better than me etc. Why would she do this? I think she's lying about the seeing somebody thing but I don't really know her friends who are my friends have been taking her side so I really don't know. I love this girl and wanted a long term future with her but I just don't understand anything to he honest.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well unfortunately some girls do breakup with guys sometimes out of anger. We do tend to say things we do not mean in the heat of the moment. Maybe she did not mean it and is having a tough time accepting her mistake and telling you. The other option is that she might be liking the attention of another guy and might be confused. It is obvious that she cares for you based on the calls and texts and accusing you for being with someone else. You can either:

    A) let her go and not answer to her calls again and tell her to leave you alone

    B) Sit down with her and ask her why did she breakup with you and still calling you. Al least you might get some answers.

    Good luck and sorry your going through this!

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • She's a bitch. Know why she called? Cause she thinks because of the fact that it was her decision to leave you that she can have you whenever she wants. You did a good thing by moving on and moving forward with your life and not falling into that trap. She doesn't actually want you but doesn't want you with anyone else which in other words makes her a selfish bitch. She's most likely lying about being with someone else. Since you shut her down she's doing it out of remorse. If she is with anyone she's playing them around. This definitely shows insecurities and she does not know what she wants. She's young and immature. Keep doing your thing and move forward. You'll do just fine =)

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  • ok this can go either way either she's just building up her ego because she wanted you to answer the phone rite away and pick her up because she's use to you being there, wanted sex, and/or wanted to see if she still has you. But also may have been that while she was drunk she got in touch with her deeper emotions which could be missing you, wanting to be by your side, or talk to you about what's really going on. I tell you this from experience because I have done it and may as well been a combination of both. But that only you know because it depends on the person and what you know of them from past experiences.

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  • She still likes you. It must be an ego thing. What was wrong with the relationship when you guys were together?

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  • Alcohol and a change of scenery will do that. She is just getting used to the idea of being without you. It will probably take a while for her to start seeing herself as an individual rather than as a unit. Maybe you two need a bit more distance?

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  • She is insecure but she still likes you. Are you not giving her enough attention?

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What Guys Said 4

  • I'm going to have to post this in parts because I don't have enough points to link it. ANyways this is a must read article for people facing the "let's stay friends" idea...

    A number of years ago, I saw a patient who felt that her sex life was essentially over because she had suddenly been left by the man with whom she had experienced her first grand erotic passion. She did everything she could to win him back — calling, sending gifts, even promising to change anything about herself that wasn't satisfying to him — all to no avail. It took extensive work (and many tears) before she was able to see that the unparalleled sexiness she attributed to him was in fact the power of her own sexual desire. At this point, his image began to lose its magnetism for her.

    What her experience suggests is that if you give in to mourning, unsettling though it may be, it will eventually finish its work. Only then do you again become free to fully inhabit your present life and turn from a sorrowing fixation on the past to the exciting unknown of the future.

    All human development entails suffering losses that need to be grieved. At every stage of life, we are propelled beyond familiarity and security into a new situation: A baby's first steps mean that she will soon leave behind the comforting security of being carried. A young adult going off to college feels the thrill of freedom but has to contend with homesickness. For all the important gains, there are also losses that bring up anxiety and sadness. Grief might be thought of as the growing pain of human development.

    A child's love is really no different from dependence, and that equation haunts us to some degree all our lives. The residues of early dependence in all our intimacies play a large part in making the loss of love so hard to bear. Yet we all go through such loss, leaving behind a trail of casualties — outdated selves, broken promises, lovers we realize we chose for the wrong reasons. Mourning these helps change what can seem like failures into wisdom.

    In learning how to grieve our losses, it doesn't help that American culture, with its emphasis on romantic love and happy endings, isn't very hospitable to mourning. But when we enter into the deeper and more difficult stretches of loving, Hollywood can't shield us from the truth: All love stories come to an end, even those that last a lifetime. When loss hits us hard, it can be difficult to know what to do with it, or even how to bear it. Many people in grief turn to antidepressants, which may reduce the pain but don't necessarily provide much by way of self-discovery.

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    • Mourning teaches us how to accept the end of love and helps us start the process of feeling whole again. True, the self you get back is never quite the same as the self you relinquished to your relationship; although wounds can heal, they leave scar tissue. But there's more to gain than just surviving the breakup; there's also the possibility of becoming more than you were, more able to undertake the experience of love in its moments of sadness as well as joy.

    • As with any art or skill, the only way grieving can be learned is through practice whether we like it or not.

  • Stop talking to her. She just wants your attention. She is trying to keep you in her life without acually being with you. By being "friends" she has choosen you as the emotional tampon to be there for her when she "needs" you, like when she was contacting you. Since you weren't there for her, her ego and feelings were hurt. Then she accuses you of moving on from her (which you should be doing). She is playing games, and you have to move on and move foreard. Stop talking to her, the "friendship" ended when you got together, and as you can see you can never be the "friends" you want to be. Start dating other women asap. Whatever she says and thinks shouldn't matter anymore. You have no obligation to her, the relationship is over. Move on, and don't let "love" overrule common sense, that will make you miserable...

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  • I suggest distance, just like the others. You're hurting her and yourself, not to mention that you're making it harder to move on...

    Best wishes, buddy :)

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  • Remember this and take it to the grave with you. "Ex's are Ex's for a reason"

    Let her go cut all contact with her and be done with it. I know it hurts like hell but that's the best way to move on. You start the healing process the fastest that way. If you really want to p*ss her off act like you don't care.

    Best thing to do is stay away. Don't just jump into another relationship either because it only makes things worse. Wait until your over her.

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