How can I over come this?

so I was pregnant with this boys child and from day one he wanted me to get an abortion we weren’t together when I was pregnant but he would say ‘if u don’t get an abortion il kill myself’ ‘il pay you’ and was promising me support if I was to get it done also a relationship. I didn’t want the abortion I was given a due date had scan photos etc but at 10 weeks did it for the sake of this guy. Afterwards he was there for me and we were dating I always had a gut feeling he was cheating I was right, with my friends cousin I found out a month after the abortion and he said we’re done. It hurt a lot I tried to take my life to stop the pain it was the darkest point in my life suffering from heartbreak and the regret of loosing my baby and a lot of anger towards him. I went crazy turning up at his house sending nasty messages that’s when his parents got involved and he’s hid behind them ever since. I wrote apology letters to say sorry for my crazy behavior he said there was no hate any more yet I’ve tried to be kind I’ve tried to follow him on Instagram (I’m blocked on everything else) but all he does is decline me? Yet there’s no hate? It hurts because he’ll happily follow girls he’s had history with and knows I don’t like repeatedly. The pain just won’t stop and I don’t know what to do anymore? I find it extremely disrespectful
How can I over come this?
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