It's been 2 years since we broke up. I still think of her like crazy. Is it ok to get back with my ex?

2 years ago now, I broke up with my first girlfriend. We both were each other's first romantic partner. However, when we met we were together for a very crazy week on my trip to Japan. We had a date, then I realized I wanted to go further with her and I traveled to her home on a 3hr train ride I had not planned. It was worth it, as it was probably what lasted us for the next 5 months of not being together. I was in London, She was in Japan, and eventually, she put together a trip to come see me.

She was everything I strove to be, she was an idol and working actress in Japan's famous Japanese theatre, while I was studying in London to learn the craft and reach the next level, it felt like I was chasing her. All the more devastating then when I lost my place in the acting course I was a part of due to attendance issues, I had always had problems with depression, anxiety, and sleep, those three hit me hard during that time, all the while I was feeling the distance between me and her. I got lonely, really lonely, and eventually, I found myself allowing myself to be kissed by someone I thought of as a good friend. Right after it happened she told me to not blame myself since she initiated it, but I gave in and made out with her, so I couldn't forgive myself.

I can't put into words how hard it is for me still to own up to my lustful side. I really really did love my girlfriend, we were always talking about our future together, she supported me in my passions and was always driving me to achieve more. So I just-- couldn't bring myself to tell her I had cheated on her, and I thought it would be easier if I painted myself as a villain to her, so I ignored her calls and missed a lot of our plans together. Then at the end of that, I told her "let's break up" over the phone, I suppose it made it easier to conceal to her how I really felt about everything. Now it's 2 years later, and she's still the only one I love. I want to do right by her but it's no doubt too late.
It's been 2 years since we broke up. I still think of her like crazy. Is it ok to get back with my ex?
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