Have you ever ended a relationship because your partner was putting more into it than you were?

My ex girlfriend ended our relationship because she felt it wasn't fair that I was giving more than she could at the time. She was trying to juggle work, family, friends, and a couple personal issues, so I had no problem putting more into it than she could, because in my opinion a relationship isn't always going to be 50/50. She said she still loved me, but she just couldn't handle the relationship right now. Did she do me a favor? Is this a legitimate reason to end a relationship? This was a couple months ago, and she's still single. We talk occasionally, and she's expressed that she misses me (which I wanted to reply with "well why did you wanna break up then?") and I miss her too, but we both agree that we can't be "just friends."

1|0
87

Most Helpful Girl

  • I once ended a relationship with a guy I love very much because I wasn’t mentally in the best state and he was putting so much into the relationship that I felt I couldn’t return at the time. I didn’t want it to turn into a toxic relationship and wanted to be able to give back all that he was giving to me, but I also felt it wasn’t fair to only take “a break” as I didn’t know how long it would take me to get better and I didn’t want him to have to wait. I felt guilty keeping him from experiences that I couldn’t give him at the time, so yeah. I think it can be a legitimate reason to end a relationship, but I suppose I’m a bit biased as I’ve been the one to do it. But we did end up getting back together and things went amazing for us

    1|0
    0|0
    • I guess it's just tough to look at it as "she broke up with me cause she had my best interest", because obviously I feel like I'm the one who got hurt

    • Show All
    • I think it would’ve made everything a lot harder on her if you had done that right after she broke up with you. I saw my guy getting teary-eyed and it killed me... But I really think you handled it well and, if you wanted to, it probably wouldn’t be bad to pour your heart out to her now about how you feel about her and how you wish you could’ve stayed together and such. It may still be too soon for her, but it may also make her feel good to know you still love her (if she truly loves you and only wanted what was best for you). I dunno though. I’m really just speaking from what would’ve worked well for me

    • I've wanted to tell her, but I also don't want to come off as desperate. As a man, I think appearing desperate is one of the most unattractive things you can do, and it would only confirm that she made the right choice. Haha at least that's how I see it given that she's repeatedly said I "did nothing wrong", but maybe my perspective is skewed?

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think one person putting in more than the other is necessarily a reason to break up. However, having a lot of other things going on and wanting to focus on those is legitimate, sometimes not seeing someone enough adds more stress and complication than not seeing them at all.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I see what you're saying, it basically eliminates what may feel like an obligation

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • Yep. I was depressed, didn't feel like I could handle the stress of a boyfriend I wasn't sure I like thát much. Felt it wasn't fair to him to let him deal with that, so I ended it. After a while, when I was feeling much better, we ended up dating again. However I found out that he wasn't the guy for me

    1|0
    0|0
    • I wasn't sure I liked him thát much* (sorry, typo)

    • Show All
    • Yeah, I mean she's just really insecure and hard on herself. Never thinks she's pretty enough, doesn't like to talk about her feelings cause she's afraid of what someone else might think or say. It's tough loving someone who doesn't love them self

    • Yep, that sounds familiar.. I can understand it's hard to love her without being able to help her

  • I've personally never did this but I could see why one would want to. It wouldn't be a good feeling to feel as though your essentially taking advantage of someone. It's respectable. If she was in another relationship now then it would be a different story. I don't think I would do it though because like you said relationships aren't always going to be 50/50, and there will more than likely be times you can't give 100 either.

    0|0
    0|0
    • But are you really taking advantage of the person if you're in a relationship? Plus, you're gonna hurt them by breaking up with them anyways.

    • Show All
    • That's just my perspective. We all see it a different way.

    • I see it that way, it makes sense!

  • There is no such reason. When you love, you cannot break up. Simply cannot. And there is no math in relationships. You do not keep track for those things. She did not see you for long term and she cares for you, did not want to harm you. That is cool.
    I would not see or contact you if i were you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • If she didn't want to harm me, why did she break up with me lol? Why tell me she misses me over a month after we broke up?

    • Show All
    • devil s advocate is good lol of course you know better. i am just guessing :)

    • Haha it's ok, even her own friends have told me they were "shocked" when we broke up, and they don't exactly understand her rationale.

  • Yep many times that's not ok mate I'm a missus not someone's goddess you're posing me off can you drop it "I'm just trying to tell you i love you THIS MUCH baby" tell someone on "this level" please these ones are hard to let go I need a man who is "upon my level" ok I see men do cry? ok mate go have a beer! Get off the shit men and emotions who knew that's rare I SEE it I can SENSE you I LOVE you already loll please I'm not an overly emotional person because I'm a Romantic at heart I have my time then it's "Hails... Bye"

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'll be honest, I couldn't comprehend about half of what you said lol

    • Show All
    • I just feel like as a man you have to walk a tightrope in a relationship-- if you don't show enough interest or effort you're an asshole, if you show too much you're perceived as needy or weak. I think it ultimately comes down to having a woman who has self-worth and thus knows what she wants and is willing to communicate it. In my experience most women expect their man to be a mind reader haha

    • Umm look I'll just never understand emotional parts of relationships seeing as I base on alchemy compatibility not by "love" I got passed that years ago clogs the mind blocks the senses I choose with best mind on and maybe too forward I value SELF men should too if I'm in a relationship I'm meant to be aka destined that feeling sorry never have had it that's clearly not the right girl it feels right I know it literally is if not "Hails... Bye" no man's emotional it's learnt behaviour or bad love he's logical she's emotional love yourSELF then try learn what love is

  • I don’t think that is a reason to end a relationship. Myself and my partner have been through some very tough times and yes it would be easier at times to remove another person to think about, but if they are the one that you love I couldn’t do it just because life is hard at the moment. You are supposed to be a team and lean on each other when needed. It sounded like she was overwhelmed but not a reason I would use to break up with someone. I would no longer be there for her, sod her. You don’t want me as a supportive loving boyfriend, you sure as shit won’t have me as a friend to lean on 🤷🏼‍♀️

    0|0
    0|0
    • She's not pushing for friendship and neither am I because we both know the feelings are still there. She avoids confrontation whereas I look at it as a means to an end. Rather than talk about an uncomfortable situation, she'd rather ignore it and run away, whereas I look at it as an opportunity for growth and understanding.

  • I did the same thing, we both agreed it was best

    0|0
    0|0
  • No that's just a bullshit excuse and not the real reason she broke up.

    0|0
    0|0
    • If that's the case, why don't women tell you the real reason they want to break up? Its nearly two months after we broke up and she still insist I didn't do anything wrong, she misses me, but she can't handle a relationship right now. It just doesn't add up in my mind.

What Guys Said 6

  • Yo man this exactly part by part happened to me few months ago haha. She even blocked me because she is really afraid to fall in hard love with me, she said herself. And her friends mentioned too. God I wish had her back, but she's too stubborn to talk it out. Very strong woman

    0|0
    0|0
    • So what's your plan? Leave her alone and if she comes back, she comes back? Or are you trying to pursue?

    • I tried to message her insta after few months but she rarely ever uses it. The message was sent half a day pending, then deleted it straight away, might regret it haha.

      Honestly left her alone. Our reason was financial. She wanted to be pay everything (russian culture) and I want 50/50 (Irish culture). But we love each other as no other.

    • She wanted me to pay everything*

  • I've tried the Same thing. The best decision you could/shouod take is to stop being Hero friend, you loved her and when she broke io with u she burned a part of your heart...

    0|0
    0|0
    • We aren't friends, we just aren't enemies either. We both know we couldn't handle being friends right now. We just catch up briefly via text every 2-3 weeks.

  • She didn't to tell you the real reason, so she used one of the lamest excuses ever.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Women can think whatever they want and it's always logical to them.. nopes it should not be the reason if u r not demanding same in return... if so then she is right and if not then you should talk to her that you can wait till she can put same or more efforts.. all depend up in you... May be she not realized what u did for her and in selfishness she not seeing ur feelings.. if she broke up why she contacting you... if you have hope that u get her back like this then u r seeing dreams.. talk to her that you will not be there if broke up

    0|0
    0|0
  • Probably making shit up. Girls are snakes sometimes

    0|0
    1|0
  • so did my ex well that and a few other reasons

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...