I know my girl is cheating on me... so should I ask her or leave her?

I'm 200% sure that my girlfriend cheating with me So what should I do 1 ask her 2 just leave her


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are so many immature comments here that it's just ridiculous.

    If you know she cheated, then what you do next depends on what you want.

    If you want her no matter what, then talk to her and work things out.

    If you can't deal with it at all, then maturely and calmly tell her that you know she is cheating, explain why, and tell her that you just cannot live like that. Then, tell her you are through and you wish her the best and walk away.

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    • "If you want her no matter what, then talk to her and work things out" in other words you are telling this guy to be a pushover and let this girl walk all over him. Would you tell your female friends to do the same if their guy was cheating on them?

      There is zero justification for what this girl has done. If he respects himself he will walk.

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    • No I did what you recommended once in a similar situation and I got back with her only to be fucked over again (different girl than what I was talking about earlier). I remember my brother telling me to “ditch that bitch” but instead I tried to “work it out”. I should have listened to him

      I don’t want to see these younger men making the same mistake I made. It’s tougher for guys to find new relationships and this guy might sacrifice his own self respect to do something stupid.

    • @somewheresomeway Again, not every situation is the same. Not every woman is the same. Not every man wants what you want. My main issue was not in your advice but in how you presented it. The way you just wrote it was not bad at all. I can see you are trying to help, but also please see that people need to make their own choices. I don't want him playing the what if game the rest of his life because he didn't do things his way. That can eat at a person as well. That's why I put out options.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi.

    You should talk to her regardless of anything. She should explain herself or at least be given the chance to reason against you evidence and you should go into the conversation with the mindset to separate or depending on what she says break up indefinitely.

    The suggestions to leave and not say anything or just fuck her a lot and then dump her are born from emotion and immaturity. Don't do this to yourself. If you are being cheated on don't provide her with the justification to have cheated in you. I. e " he is an asshole for using me for sex and then just leaving without saying anything, I am glad I cheated in him" that sort of bull.

    You'll be wanting some of that closure and talking to this person whom has potentially done the ultimate wrong in a relationship is the only way you will get that.

    If she hasn't then great but still separate for a while until you can both come back to the relationship more invested. If she has then breaking up is the obvious step move on and see this as a life experience. Pit it behind you and find someone in the future that deserves you.

    (This is all assuming you haven't done something like cheat on her)

    Out of curiosity what evidence do you have?

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What Girls Said 67

  • If you know for a certainty, i would just end it without an explanation. But only if you have concrete evidence.

    Someone who betrays your trust doesn't deserve an explanation. Personally , i just cut people off who betray me. I don't waste my time telling them why i no longer want them in my life

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  • I'm really sorry she's cheating on you.

    It sounds like you still care about her, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this.

    Personally, it's a serious breach of trust, you don't deserve this- If you were to work this out right now and stay together, it's not giving you time to grow as people, and fore her to get past her actions.

    I myself, would get evidence- making sure that I got everything in completely above board methods (if it goes sour, nothing can be thrown back at you, you've remained on the higher ground) I would tell her that I know, that I don't want an explanation and that I want her to leave. She may break and want to give you an explanation, she may flip out, but be dignified, be strong, remember you're young and deserve someone who doesn't cheat on you.

    If you love her and you want it to desperately work out, by all means try, but from situations that I have witnessed, some of which have been truly painful, I would cut ties- If you both grow as people, have time to get over her actions, and her to have time to become someone who doesn't cheat, and you end up together, great. If you don't you move on at a natural pace and you end up with someone who deserves you.

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  • What would you even ask her if you’re 200% sure? I wouldn’t give her the opportunity to lie to your face about it since that’s what she’s been doing the whole time anyway. Just let her know that you know, and then leave.

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  • Why not do both. You know what woul really mess her up? If you decided to leave her but choose another attribute that she lacked in to make her aware that she cannot maintain a relationship successfully in all faccets when her attentiona is divided.

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    • This is actually a pretty good idea. The petty person in me agrees. It’s easy for cheaters to think that they’re otherwise perfect and that the ”only” reason their relationship failed is because they cheated (and while that is a perfectly good enough reason to leave someone, in a cheater’s eyes it’s not a big deal). So to put the blame on something else would definitely be a bigger hit to her ego and might make her reevaluate her path.

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    • Oh for sure.

    • @lumos it's kinda cute. Pettiness. little bubba.

  • Leave her ass, if you let her "explain" she'll just play the victim and cry, if you just up and leave she'll regret it for the rest of her life and learn her lesson

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  • Definitely ask her. If she denies it, then not only is she a cheater, but a liar too. I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt though. Have your facts ready. You might be surprised. She may just confess when she knows she's caught, however, I doubt it. But yeah. Ask her and go from there. You know what to do in your heart. If your 200% sure then you know this will be a very hurtful, toxic relationship and you dont deserve that. Good luck 😊

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  • Respect yourself enough to leave. Nobody deserves to be lied to and taken advantage of. It might be hard but just leave. If she asks, tell her you know her secret. And then don't give her the time of day. I'm sorry this happened to you, I know how it feels. Don't worry there are better people out there who will love and respect you for who you are, and value you enough to be faithful to you.

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  • Personally, I think that yes you should confront her about it and then leave her without even giving her a second look. She was the one that was in the big wrong and not you, so she's the one that is missing out on such a great guy like you! Lift your head up high and smile big because you don't need a woman like that. :)

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  • If you have the proof, I'd just leave. She deserve the time of day or any explanation.

    If you don't have proof, you should confront her, maybe she'll be honest, either way, if she's not cheating and you break up over made up doubts, that would suck.

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  • If you're certain that she's cheating on you then just leave her and be done with it. If you ask her there's no guarantee that she'll tell you the truth and it might leave you questioning everything and thinking you're in the wrong.

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  • If you're very sure, then leave and say nothing at all. that's the best revenge.

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  • Have you got evidence? If so, you can tell her you know. If you don't have an evidence, better ask her. Whether you leave or stay is up to you and her answer in both cases. If you think you can trust her to change, stay, if not - leave

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  • The only way to be 200% sure is to have caught her in person or by reading her text. So if one those things happened I would say leave. If they didn't and you just feel she is, make sure you got proof. Follow her if you have too. That way she can't tell you you're imagining things. Good luck and hope in the end you find happiness.😎

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  • Leave her. Lack of trust destroys relationships. Your relationship is over whether she cheated or not.

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  • Just tell her you are leaving. You know what she's been up to and you want her out of your life.
    You don't have to ask her why she did it and so on. Just tell her and leave.

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  • If you are 200% sure, what do you even want to ask her? And if you’re not sure then try being completely sure first and gather some kind of proof and confront her and if it is true then please leave her.

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  • I don’t suggest asking, but rather just tell her you know and leave

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  • Just leave, no use in putting yourself through drama. She doesn't deserve a good bye or knowing that you know, no one that cheats does.

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  • Be sweeter than ever. Wait for her to want to leave you and you make it not easy for you because then she leaves a good guy.

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  • It's best you have absolute proof before doing anything. You could just as easily be 200% Wrong

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  • Confront it and leave. Peacefully! Because from the moment you feel/know she is, you'll be constantly paranoid about it. There should be trust and honesty between youse

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  • Ask why the hell did she do that and then leave. I mean, I guess there's the slightest chance she can apologize in a way that makes you reconsider and stay, but I highly doubt that. How do you feel about her cheating on you? Would you still want to try and work things out? For me, cheating it's unforgivable, it's like the number one rule and it's not as if we are all animals and can't control our impulses. I hate some of the excuses, like "I wasn't thinking. It just happened. It was an accident." Ugh. I'm sorry she did that to you but if you've been a good, caring and loving boyfriend you desserve someone who is willing and ready to give you the same things.

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  • If you have proof just leave her, if not then confront her about it. Usually your gut instinct is always right, so if you're 200% then she probably is.

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  • Leave. Tell her why, but waste time on anyone "explaining" anything. She knows what she did was wrong, and why, and you don't need her excuses.

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  • If you're certain then leave her and make sure she knows exactly why

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  • Place the evidence on the kitchen table. And leave.

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  • Tell her you know what she's been doing and break up with her.

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    • If I tell her or she felt sorry
      Then what should I have to do 🤔

    • That's up to you. If you trust that she won't cheat again, nd won't be hurt or reminded by it all the time, give her a chance.
      If not and u can't carry on, tell her u can't do it and it's not going to work

  • Leave her and dont comfort her by telling her what happened and let her be as busy as a bee thinking what happened

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  • Leave her. You do not need to explain anything to her.

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  • First, decide what you would do if she is and examine how you feel.

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    • Dont make assumptions, ask her straight up after you know that you are capable of handling and accepting the truth.

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What Guys Said 156

  • Definitely break up with her. Also i know it is wrong but you might wanna do the same thing before you actually break up.

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    • Yes!!! I was thinking about it

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    • @Annie_Mosity i said it is wrong but i think when another person cheats you should somehow make them understand it. I meant he might wanna do that if it is the only way to make her understand.

    • Ain’t nothing like giving someone a taste of their own medicine.

  • I’d leave her like if ain’t shit. Just bounce with a smile on your face. She may be the one cheating but I’m sure it won’t feel good for her to just be discarded by you. Throw her ass in the trash like you don’t give a fuck. Fuck that bitch. Lol. Am I a bad person?

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  • That depends on your evidence, if its here say then confront her as if you are certain, provide evidence see how she responds, if its undeniable evidence leave the evidence of her cheating where she will find it and cut all ties. Never stay with a cheater, if you are absolutely certain then leaving her is the only real option, if you are not absolutely certain, find out so that you don't throw away your relationship on something that could be happening rather then what is happening.

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  • Sit her down, show her your hand, ask why if you really need to know and just break up with her. You be the mature one in this mess... you will be the one she thinks of when she is with stupid ass immature guys that treats her like shit. She will think back.. what ever happen to that guy.. what a CLASS ACT. And for her... TOO LATE.

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  • If you're actually sure then no doubt leave her..
    Never contact her again and pick up calls or have any conversations..
    If she can cheat she's prolly a good lier and might be able to manipulate you if you ask for explanations.

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  • That is typical, they all cheat. Don't say anything. Get all your stuff out of her place such that she doesn't notice, get yourself another girlfriend started, use her for a couple more rounds, and then disappear.

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    • That might blow up in your face if you start a new girl while you have the other one hanging on. I have seen that end badly for a couple of people.

    • @mostlyharmful Worked for me. Anyways, it is already blown up, so what can one lose?

  • First check yourself if you still love her so much if you do then speak to her about it and ask her to stop and why she's doing that and then start a fresh relationships with her but if you check your self and you don't love her anymore then tell her about what you know and how you feel right now and then you can just leave her and move on with your life ok.

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  • Unless you need to get something from her place (and even then, bring a friend with you), I would just send her a text breaking up with her and informing her why. Why waste your time talking to her? Start the process of healing ASAP- just dump her.

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  • Only if you're absolutely without a shadow of a doubt sure she is cheating, ghost her, don't talk to her again. But also expose her cheating to her friends and family so she loses you and the respect of those close to her. Let her feel shit for a long time through their judgement and maybe the pain of her losing her friends too.

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  • If you're 200% sure, break it off. I was there. Don't be a sucker like me. Break it off, accept her lies, be hurt for however long it takes you to cope and move on. You're young. Most young females and dudes cheat anyway. Move on

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  • If what you have with her is mature and important, try to talk to her comely and resolve it. Find out if she is on your level in this relationship. Figure her reasons for doing it. Maybe you did something that pushed her away?

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  • Its much more fun to confront her and watch her squirm.. whatever way you go make sure and get all your shit back from her before you split... Or you can pull one of my favorite moves and say your HIV positive... don't let on that you know shit about anything... it will get her thinking her whore ass picked it up especially if she's the only one you've been with

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  • if you know she is pack her shit put it outside and leave a note saying good luck have fun see you never. Of course change the locks before you do it makes it more fun when they try and unlock the door and none of the keys work

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  • 200%? So you would bet 10 years of your life on the fact that you are right? If you are really 200% sure, why the fuck would you ask? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER ASK? You know what is true, so act accordingly. If you wanna be a cuck, be a cuck, if not, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!! Make it harsh too, hurt her feelings, she deserves it

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  • You need to talk to her, don't just dump her all of a sudden like that, hear her out and make sure she hears you out. Communication is very important in a relationship. If you communicate properly then you can either work through you issues or move forward with your life...

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  • If she's having sex with someone else.. Dump her ass very fast, and don't bother explaining.

    If she's cheating with words or online cheating, you can try to ask her what went wrong, why she is doing this. And then dump her also

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  • Set yourself up for leaving, find a place to live, maybe a rebound or a fling to ease the transition.
    Then say what you wanna say, drop the Mic and bounce or ghost her even.
    You could always try swinging maybe you're a polygamous couple but you just don't know it yet. Works for Charlie.

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  • Do you have evidence or is it just a strong feeling? Either way, I’d confront her, but if you don’t have proof do it more gently. It won’t help things at all by just leaving. Also, I wish you the best man. Cheating is a really awful thing to have to deal with.

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  • Try to make yourself feel better as long as its not illegal, So it doesn't realy matter what you do but you are intitled to feel good about it so dont just cry about it, Try laughing about it or even getting even with her without breaking the law.

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  • Trust me, ask her out right and try talk through it. 1 you have to be sure u can personally forgive and forget, 2 know for definite that you would be able to trust her if any of the answers are no, walk away. It's not nice being cheated on, but in retrospect she ain't committed to you

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  • Don't just sit there waiting for her to stop on her own... unless you are 200% sure , she will stop on her own and come back... Respect yourself... Ask her what you think... Hear her out... Then please save yourself and move ahead... Do not quarrel... Talk calmly... Peace😇😇😇😇😇

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  • Confront her with proof. You want to be very right before pressing such allegations. You said, you are sure but is there a silent "I do not know though?" Think about it.

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  • Don't wait for the right moment, just point out you know she's cheating. Don't explain yourself if she asks you how you'd know.
    I can tell by the way you question, you still love her so you are going to be heartbroken either way, be warned.
    Don't ask, confront her!
    Takes guts, but it's the best to know the truth.

    To say it hard: if she'd really love you she wouldn't cheat on you.
    I'm sorry bro, take care with handling this.

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  • Well, don't leave her just like that, I've known a girl that has two boyfriends that understand one does better than the other. Talk to her about it man. That's how most relationships end, because the dude just lashed out on her or she lashed out on him with no explanations

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  • I think you should leave her no matter what.

    But before you needs to confront her, throw everything you know on the table, curse her of all the worst names if she try raises her voice, and walk away.

    Because leave her without explanation she will look for you to know what is happening anyway.

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  • It'll hurt but just leave and tell her at the same time. No chance for her to try to convince you otherwise cause sometimes we want to believe any lie we're told.

    But most importantly that poison has already been dropped into your relationship true or not, so it's time to get out

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  • If you know for a fact. Ask her for your own closure. I'd want to know how my SO would respond. Pretty defining moment in my opinion. Then leave, nicely.

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  • With you? Good. On you? Bad.

    Talk to her. Sit her down. Start out by saying you have some questions and that if she lies at all in any way the relationship is over.

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    • If he is so sure that she is cheating on him.. The relationship is already over man...

    • @ammar114 perhaps. But if she is honest completely he might choose to work things out.

  • I think you should just leave even if you know the truth ask her if she is honest it's possible to work it out over the admittance to straying, I say an honest girl can get a second chance but if she lies to you then you know what you must do

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