I don't know how to feel anymore?

So I broke up with my girlfriend of 1+ years about 5 weeks ago because I felt like I didn't I like her enough and couldn't give her what she wanted. I kept hurting her and couldn't deal with that anymore. I was fine with it all until I saw her making out with another guy 3 weeks later, and all of my emotions that I have never felt came rushing. I have never been very affectionate and I know I have walls that prevent me from really opening up and feeling vulnerable. But she was the only person that I have actually told things to and trusted with anything. She was my best friend and I obviously liked her more than I thought. I always wanted to say I love you but I was scared to make it real. She broke down my walls and taught me how to love. I tried to get back with her but she realized I wasn't right for her and had doubts since January. After 3 weeks she was already with someones else and I am devastated. I know she said I wasn't right but how could she love me if I didn't know how at the time. I think that makes a big difference and I know it will be different if we try again. I know I need to work on myself right now too and thats what she thinks is best for me. I just can't stop thinking about her and I want to get back together. She said we have a deep connection that she doesn't have with others and wants to be friends later on but I don't know if I can. I am so hurt that she could just find someone new, and am struggling with the idea of her sleeping with and loving someone else. I want to be furious but I still love her. I want her back but know I have to move on. How do I deal with this?
I don't know how to feel anymore?
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