I STILL LOVE HIM BUT REALIZE I MUST LET GO. I JUST WANT HIM TO FORGIVE ME AND KNOW THAT I DID CARE FOR HIM, WHAT DO I DO?

I had known my ex since we were kids. we got involved with each other a year ago. everything happened very quickly. when I started "dating" he was in jail for a probation violation. when he was released our relationship turned more serious & within weeks I moved in w/ him at his family's house. our relationship was never perfect. we were both very insecure & dealing w/ our own personal issues. nonetheless, i loved him very much. he was my first in everything. i was frustrated in the beginning by some of his actions or therefore, lack of actions or initiative for anything. we argued a lot & we were good for a few days & then go back to the same arguments. i left after about 3 months. i came back & then left again. i won't lie, i didn't show the best judgement in some of my actions & wasn't patient with him. ultimately, we had fights were the police was involved. a few days ago i went to pick up some of my things from his home, he ended up pushing me & hurting me. he was taken to jail & spent 3 days there. he would call me when he was there. i ultimately dropped the charges & actually picked him up & took him home when he was released. AT THIS POINT a lot HAS BEEN SAID & DONE BETWEEN US. I DID BREAK HIS TRUST & REALIZETHAT IT WAS THE MOTIVE FOR MANY THINGS TO UNFOLD. I TRIED TO GET HIM TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE &HE REFUSED. I BEGGED HIM, I CRIED & DID ANYTHNG THAT I COULD. HE SAID HE LOVED ME & SAY THAT HE CARED FOR ME, BUT WOULD SAY THE OPPOSITE THE NEXT DAY. I DID CALL HIM SOME HORRIBLE NAMES & TOLD HIM HE WOULD NEVED BE ANYTHING. EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE SAID OUT OF ANGER, I REALIZED IT WAS AGRAVE MISTAKE TO EVER SAY ANYTHING. IM AT A POINT WHERE EVEN THO I STILL LOVE HIM & 4 SOME CRAZY REASON WOULD WANT TO ONE DAY REPAIR THINGS, I KNOW THEY ARE PROBABLY BEYOND THAT. I WANT TO MOVE ON & WANT THE SAME FOR HIM. I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THAT IM TRULY SORRY & HOPE HE REALIZES THAT HE MESSED UP TO. I DONT WANT TO LIVE W/ THIS FEELING OF RESENTMENT OR HAVE HIM RESENT ME.
I STILL LOVE HIM BUT REALIZE I MUST LET GO. I JUST WANT HIM TO FORGIVE ME AND KNOW THAT I DID CARE FOR HIM, WHAT DO I DO?
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