How do I get closure?

I'm not new to dating and I have had far longer relationships than the one that is affecting me so deeply but for some reason I can't get this girl out of my head.

I've known her for around a year and a few months ago we started dating. We always got on well and their has always been an attraction so when something happened I was pretty happy. I think I may have fallen for her harder than she did for me although she made the first move on me.

I really enjoyed spending time with her so you can imagine my disapointment when she moved 3 hours away for college. We expressed our feelings for each other and said we'd both try to maintain a relationship but it just never materialised.

At first I thought I'd be OK with this but now I just can't stop thinking about her and what may have been. I know this is pointless and self destructive but I had such a good vibe about her and I just keep thinking I've wasted the opportunity to be with someone I really cared.

My question is whether I should tell her this or try to move on and meet someone else. I don't know if she feels the same anymore but is it worth getting things off my chest for some sort of closure? She hasn't really made any effort to contact me in the past few weeks and neither have I as I thought I would try the no contact rule so I really don't know if she has already move on. Opinions please? I really just want to stop thinking about her all the time!


0|0
32

Most Helpful Girl

  • I disagree with RealDeal. Firstly, as a girl, I can tell that maybe she is trying to "test" you (maybe not even consciously) and see if you really meant that and to see if you are reliable. It's an option. I must say, if someone didn't show me he means it after we both say openly and clearly that we want to try to make it work, I would really lose my trust in him. Sadly, we are all scarred to a degree or another (especially from childhood and other relationships), therefore some people do need to be reassured.

    At this point, you are not having any contact. You have nothing to lose. And I strongly recommend you to put all your thoughts in order and let her know everything you feel. This world really needs more people that are upfront and not playing games in relationships. If all she needed was to see that your feelings are there to stay, it'll work great. If not, you know that there were no "ifs" involved, all was in the open on your part and there is nothing more you can do. If you don't tell her, you'll always wonder "what if I told her everything?"

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I totally feel for you! I am just now slowly getting over my ex, and it's been 8 mos! You feel how you feel. People may say get over him/her already but there was something very special you felt about that person at some point and you just can turn it off. It's a deep emotion and only time can ease that feeling. The only advice I can give to you is only YOU know how you feel inside. We, as perfect strangers, can only help with our advice. Listen to your intuition. If you want to tell her how you feel, then do it. But take baby steps, because after NC you don't know what she could be feeling or going through emotionally. But at least you know you tried! Good luck! =)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like you have some deep, genuine feelings for her. And three hours' distance isn't impossible. So why not go and see her, spend some time with her, and try making this relationship work? I bet it's worth the effort. Good luck!

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • No such thing as closure. What is closure to you? What it really is forgiving yourself and others for the past that you can no longer change. Letting go of that person and the person you were while you were with them. Closure to me is just another word for moving forward. How do you move forward? Let go.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are strung out on her, gona take a while to get over her, she's in a new place and meeting new people. If she is really into you she will come back to you eventually, maybe see other people if you want to try to move on or stay in touch with her if you want to keep her on the back burner and see other people in the mean time.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;