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Not in a relationship, but in a friendship.A few years ago I noticed that my "friend" started acting differently, I suspected that she had a crush on me but I didn't bring it up. She wanted to be texting all the time but I was in college and often couldn't respond to her right away. If I didn't answer soon enough, she would flip out. Suddenly she'd accuse me of not wanting to talk to her or be her friend. She could be very rude and say things that were offensive, then turn around and say it was a joke.Month later, as I was finishing up my first year in college, she texted me late one night admitting she had feelings for me. I told her I didn't feel the same way and she wanted to forget she said anything.Because of her confession, now everything I did was because of what she said. That summer I was really busy as I was taking summer courses and had a summer job. She'd often ask to hang out last minute and I would have to tell her that I couldn't.One day she snapped, I don't want to hang out with her or be her friend. When I fought back and defended myself, she suddenly was the victim and didn't mean what she said. Since then, the fight has become an annual thing. Every summer she texts me out of nowhere, something along the lines of if I don't want to be friends anymore I should just tell her. Every year I defend myself, even threatening to no longer be friends if this is how she's going to act, and she's suddenly okay again. This past summer she told me things that a friend apparently said behind my back that were hurtful and she told me things that made me not trust her. When I called her out on it, she twisted it around. She never said those things and if she didn't, she didn't mean them the way I interpreted them.She never apologizes, she never takes blame. She starts fights and as soon as she gets the chance, she acts like it never happened and that we're supposed to be okay again.I've really tried to distance myself. We exchanged gifts this past Christmas and I made sure we met up before the new year so I could start 2018 fresh. So far so good. I don't reach out to her and when she contacts me, I'm pretty cold towards her though she doesn't seem to notice. I'm expecting her to start something soon and if she does, I'm done. I'm cutting her off for good. It's a shame because we've been friends for about 7+ years but we're adults now. There is no need to be so dramatic and I don't deserve to be treated the way she treats me.
I have. Over the course of many years, my ex-wife convinced me that my memory was f'ed up to cover up her lies. I finally exposed her when l let her think the conversation we were rehashing (with our marriage counselor) was face-to-face, when it was actually over text. Let her blow it all up good, too, before pulling the trigger. She went on and on about how l "always do this" and "couldn't remember my own name if it wasn't for her" and how she was so concerned because she thought l might have a brain tumor or something (its not a toomah).And then l told her l had it all right there on text and the gig was up. Her face when she realised l had her ass. The counselor's face when she realised what was really going on (she had her convinced that I was gaslighting HER). Moment of glory. And then I was free.
My ex partner done this for three years before I could get out of it..She would manipulate every situation and lie about it to everyone just to make me the fool in each case.. Now TBH I could have left and I did notice what she was doing but unfortunately she used my daughter as an excuse to force me to stay which I did until it got so bad I took my daughter and left...She treated my 2yr old daughter horrible and didn't act like her mother at all until I left then it was on she manipulated the police and the court and played the victim and was granted custody and I have been back 4 times to fight but she wins every case because she convinced others to be like her and back her lies up to look authentic.. I still fight every year and each time I'm knocked back makes me try harder to prove how manipulating she really was and still is...
Yes. My ex gaslighted me for nearly over a year. He gaslighted me about things he said, convincing me he never said that. He tried to make me believe i said certain things (even though they came out of HIS mouth!) he tried to make me believe i was delusional and paranoid and crazy (even though he was doing everything i was paranoid about). I felt lost and pathetic; i had such little self-esteem and at times i wanted to die from all the mental distress. I felt unstable and often had panic attacks, or I’d spend hours upon hours waiting by the phone for him to text me, or I’d stalk his social media. He’d tell me i had control issues and tell me I’m a bad person all the time. I hate thinking about how he made me feel. I wasn’t crazy, he was cheating!
Yes. Gaslighting is one of the most common tools used by abusers. My own mother was a constant source of this. She would say something hurtful to manipulate me, then she would pretend she never said anything at all and act cruel and demeaning towards me as 'punishment' for what she had manipulated me to do. Ultimately I was forced to severe ties with her due to the toxic relationship she was creating.
well, not really by past relationships, but my family does that to me daily.
Yeah his mother tried to gaslight me all the time. Mostly because she was an alcoholic and didn't remember anything anyone told her because she was always drunk.
Same, but its my own mother 😂
Yes. I now have PTSD because the emotional abuse turned into physical abuse
My mother does this to everyone. The irony of it is she clearly has NPD which is probably why she does it.
The real answer is DONT deal with it, get out now!
Why do you think I have third degree burns?
I have been with my mother
I don't know what that is.
What does"gas lightened" mean pls
It's an abuse tactic. A person will say or do something that is cruel, hateful, or manipulative then pretend it never happened. If the victim brings it up later they are told it never happened. "you have a very active imagination" is a common phrase used by the person doing the gaslighting. It is meant to cause the victim to question their own sanity and memory.
Thats mental & emotional abuse , not done if they truly love their partner
not sure what that is please explain
Same here brother I have no idea what they mean
Its a thing where people fuck with your brain, can get annoying if you dont dip out of that fucked up situation fast. GET OUT. lol, seriously.
Fake news is a lot of gas lighting.
You mean light farts on fire?
I usually get angry
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