Why are we not together?

My best guy friend told me he doesn't want to get a girlfriend because then things between the two of us wouldn't be the same? He said I would come before his girlfriend and so that's why he doesn't get a girlfriend. Why are the two of us not together then?!?!?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • if you really want him, try to convince him why you like him so much and try to get him to tell you why he likes you so much. Then try to get him to think up why you guys would be so perfect for each other, like say "so do you think that we have a lot in common and that we could be good together" if he says "yes" then ask him why. Then say something like, want me to be your girlfriend then? And make it come true? hopefully he will see it your way that you guys are meant to be together, as much as you see it you need him to see it also.

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What Guys Said 1

  • "bros before hoes" comes to mind.

    He probably has had some jealous girlfriends who aren't able to handle it when his best friend is a girl and believes that friendship is more important then a relationship because he thinks that all girls are like that.

    Either that or the obvious "he likes you but isn't sure how to start a relationship with you or wether its worth risking your friendship for".

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    • We already act like we are in a relationship..we talk everyday, multiple times throughout the day and try to spend as much time together as possible. I can't figure out if he doesn't want to risk our friendship because that's what I am afraid of but I never thought about "bros before hoes" haha

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    • Its different though, we live in two different places and we go visit each other often. He always buys me everything whenever we do stuff together. He's boughten me random gifts, always makes me dinner. And of course we've hooked up which makes it all the more complicated.

    • Talk to him, really because while it seems like he wants "something" to happen, there's also some uncertainty in your story/comments which makes it hard for me to give a proper estimate. Just talking about it won't really be too awkward and at least you'll know where you stand afterwards.

What Girls Said 2

  • Are you guys attracted to each other/ Basically he's either hinting that he wants a relationship OR hinting that he values you so much but he's not attracted to you so don't expect a relationship. See he probably feels like he has to cover his tracts. The fact you guys hang out and he likes spending time with you and he doesn't have a g.f. could as you can see be construed as him being available for to u. He either is hinting he wants you or hinting he doesn't. I think its not much help to you to ask US. I don't understand why people who are able to speak with the person in question don't just ask THEM. You guys are best friends he'll talk to you. I'd be different if he refused to speak to you or you tried talking to him but were not able to because he wouldn't be clear or refused to answer- you haven't even TRIED talking to him about it yet. Go talk to him and tell us what he says :)

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    • I know he is attracted to me, he has told me that before but I know you are right and I need to talk to him but it's just hard because I don't want things to be weird afterward especially if he's like no I don't want to be with you.

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    • Ahhh I may need a little liquid confidence hahah but ill try!

    • Lol good luck!

  • One of my best friends is the same. He is too worried to get with any girls because of his best friend (also his ex, but they were best friends before they went out as well). He'd rather stay single, and not hook up at all, than risk hurting her, even though he doesn't have feelings for her any more.

    Do you like him?

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    • Well I care about him a lot and I know our relationship would change if either of us started dating anyone. Why would he be like that if he doesn't have feelings for her anymore? I feel like he will never find a girl if he acts that way.

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