What do I do fill like I could end it now?

What do I do with myself my wife at the time (2009) had an affair. I forgave her but things were just never the same. 2016 she asked for a divorce and we split. Last night I dropped my boy off after having the evening with him and the guy she had an affair with she's now dating and was over her place.
Just fill like ending my life as I feel the last few years were a waist and a lie
What do I do fill like I could end it now?
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