How to tell when she's over her ex and ready to move on?

There's this girl I really like. Anyways, the other night I told her how I felt. She was really glad that I told her and that she liked me too, but she still was moving on from her ex (they broke up late may 2010 after a lengthy relationship). I asked if there was a chance of us dating after she moved on. She said that I certainly have a chance. I asked her if she could give me some sort of sign when she was ready to move on and date. She responded with "Don't leave it all up to me! I don't want to be the one to decide everything ha ha :)". I said okay and that we'd come back to it when the time came. However, I don't understand what she means. Like in all honesty, her healing process (which I completely understand) is the reason why we're not dating so I don't understand what she means by that response. I'm pretty confused so what should I do? Like how will I know she's ready to date if I can't read minds? Thanks in advance and sorry for writing a novel...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ooh, that's not fun, poor guy! Basically you were told "I'm not ready, but I'm not going to tell you when I am" about confusing, lol! The reason why she told you not to leave it all up to her is because she still wants the chase a little bit. She doesn't want to be the one running the show all the time (even though at this point she is because she stopped you guys from going forward). Basically, she still wants the romantic chase to happen where you come after her and stuff, and as a girl I totally get that.

    I have to say also, it's a good thing that she was honest with you and told you straight up that she wasn't ready. She stopped herself from getting into something with someone else because her whole-heart isn't ready to do that yet, and that's an awesome sign, because it means she wants you guys to have something real and that she respects you as a person, and that's awesome!

    What I advise is, just keep in communication with her. Be her friend. Talk. Get to know each other. You don't have to be a mind reader - just be around. It'd probably be good to give it a couple months at least. From time to time, ask her how she's doing in the "healing" department and let her know that if she needs to talk, that you're there for her. Hopefully she'll open up to you and from what you guys talk about from time to time, you'll know when she's ready. Then just ask her out :) Good luck hun!

    • Yeah I'm glad she was honest too. Even though I really want a relationship, I don't want it to be a rebound one so I'll wait because I'm sure she'll be worth it in the end.

      How much in danger am I towards falling into the friend zone with her? If there's a possibility, any way I can avoid it? Thanks!

    • You know, to be honest, I'm not really a huge believer in the "friend zone" myself. If there's chemistry, there's's something that develops on it's own or is already there from the beginning (there are different degrees)...either way, it's natural. So if you guys have it, let it roll and go with the flow :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • so nice to see you have a heart;) steeve...

    • Haha what do you mean?

    • Show All
    • I didn't mean to freak you out. I thought you were someone else who uses a similar profile. The person's name is Steve and he is a total jerk and uses woman. He was chatting at the same time you were posting your comments.

    • Ohhhh, yeah Steve's just my pseudonym.

What Guys Said 1

  • Simple ask her out see if it goes anywhere or ask her if she wants to get back with him, she's not over him...


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