Is it cheating if a person falls in love (emotionally) with someone outside of his/her relationship?

  • Yes it's cheating.
    Vote A
  • No it's not cheating
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes it is cheating. I have said this before, but imma say it again. Both genders have the ability to cheat. Girls mostly cheat emotionally and guys mostly cheat physically. Even thought it can go both ways, that's usually how it is. So saying that physically cheating is the only way to cheat is just an excuse for people because more guys will cheat physically than a girl even though girls can do it to.

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    • Are you really 17? This is the best answer here

    • I am just good at giving advice tbh not even trying to brag or anything rofl😂

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah it is, without a doubt.

    The act of physical activity is usually what we think of cheating but let me put it into perspective for those who don’t think emotional cheating isn’t wrong.

    Let’s say you have a good boyfriend/ girlfriend who does right by you and obviously cares about you, then you meet someone else and you talk to them more than your lover. You can’t wait to talk to them , hang with them, do fun things together, spend more time interacting with them than your lover, sharing things with them you haven’t told your lover yet/won’t tell them. You get nervous when they’re interacting with other guys/girls. You want to be alone with them when you hang out.

    See the picture I’m painting? What’s the difference between them and your lover? Not much except the physical activity.

    There should be a balance between friends and lover

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 44

  • You dont just fall in love instantly. This friendship must have had some romance brought into bit by bit until it became love... I feel like you probably would have some type of feelings for the person before falling in love, and I would consider it to be cheating to continue a steady friendship with someone that you are attracted to AND have more than "friend" feelings for. You should have left your current relationship long before it became "love" with your friend.

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  • Yes, just like people have self control over their physical self, one shall have self control over their emotions, which usually is invoked by repeated dwelling on or talking with the person they have crush on.

    So it’s no excuse for someone to say “it happened naturally.” It didn’t. You dwelled on it and made it an affair.

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  • I understand that crushes can happen even when in a loving and fully committed relationship, sometimes it just happens and it really isn't anyone's fault. But what's important in a situation like that is to acknowledge that it's just a crush and it'll go away on its own, as well as not acting on it. However, I'd say that falling in love is a much deeper step than a crush, and would require some amount of reciprocation from the person you've caught feelings for. Plus, it also tells me something is off in the relationship, because you don't really fall in love with other people if you're a monogamous person and you truly love the one you're already with.
    I wouldn't say it's automatically cheating, because that would require more initiative from the person who has fallen in love than just catching feelings for someone else. But I would say that it's an extremely bad sign of the relationship coming to an end, and it could be the first step towards cheating if the person doesn't break up with their partner.

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  • If you fall in love with someone outside of your relationship, you're giving your heart to somebody else and therefore should break up with the woman/man who doesn't occupy your interest. It's only fair to them. It's cheating if they aren't the only person you want to be with.

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  • Well here's the difference. Cheating physically is a choice. You can very easily prevent it. Falling in love isn't.

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    • I'd argue that loving some one is a choice

    • @tythewildchild I agree with you. Loving someone is a choice. It all starts with attraction.

  • Of course. If you fall in love with someone else then it kinda defeats the entire purpose of being in a relationship with your current partner. I mean my boyfriend is my everything and there is no one better out there for me. I don't desire or crave anyone else as I am fulfilled enough. If there comes a day when I fall for someone else emotionally, then it means I cannot be THAT into my partner anymore and that something is missing, somewhere.

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  • I don’t think you can help who you fall in love with so I don’t think it’s cheating I think it’s wrong though to be in a relationship with someone who you don’t love knowing you love someone else

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  • It's not, but at that point, you should leave. It's a sign that your partner isn't your only choice anymore and that your feelings are starting to dwindle. It's better to leave now than to deal with the emotional pain later. I'm sure your partner doesn't deserve to be a second choice either. Be with the person who really makes you happy.

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  • I think it's cheating if the partner was unaware of the third person in the first place, and if what the cheating spouse may be doing or feeling about with somebody else , wouldn't be happy if it was done upon to themselves then yes it is cheating.. but if the relationship was fully honest and real then it's understanding

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  • Yes. Noticing that someone is attractive is something else than falling in love. Falling in love means you have spent countless hours getting to know that other person in an intimate level, when you knew you should have kept your distance.

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  • I'd say if you cut off any contact to this person as long as it's just a crush and haven't acted upon that it isn't cheating. We cannot control our emotions but we can for sure control our actions.

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  • Not cheating unless you act upon it or confide in personal matters with them that you won't talk about with your partner.

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  • It's not cheating yet unless something is done, but it definitely means to get out of that relationship because it isn't working

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  • It is cheating and I think it is worse than physical like why feelings shifts to another without them building the spark in the first place... two eyes wondering

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  • Depends on the couple

    Are they sexually invested
    Or
    Emotionally invested
    Or
    Are they emotionally sexually invested

    Only they know what cheating is

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  • Yes...
    Just break up and pursue the new person. The current relationship died and you're ruining her and your own life by remaining in it.

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  • I don't know, I guess as long as they don't act on it and/or cut that person off then it's not cheating

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  • Some might consider that worse than having sex with someone else.

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  • If you are not happy in your relationship you should end it, its very simple. Cheating is cheating whether that be emotional or physical.

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  • Yes it is cheating whether emotional or physical but the point is what made that person look for love outside his/her relationship

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What Guys Said 50

  • Let's say you've been with your husband/wife for 3 years. You've had this childhood friend that happens to be of your favored flavor of sex, if any, and you enjoy talking to them. It gets to the point that you can't wait to see them and your do anything to hangout and just enjoy being around them. They bring out a light that never shines. A real laugh and you get high off of life when you're around them. You watch a movie with them, talk about the pranks y'all used to play on each other and the countless hours you've shared under the moonlight with them at bonfires with the vast canvas of conversations you've held. You may have wanted to kiss this person when you first met, but never had the chance, so instead you got to know each other and learn every goofy quirk they have to offer, and you still think they're perfect. Now you can enjoy such a friendship, and still have the initial feelings that have blossomed from day one. You've never kissed this person. You have hugged them and fallen asleep on their shoulder, but have never done anything sexual or that one might seem you have to be in a relationship to do. For a lack of a better term we'll call it loving them like a brother/sister. (You might hug your brother/sister, or fall asleep next to them, but you wouldn't kiss them) Now, your time together is at an end and you return to your husband/wife. You're content with them, but it is definitely not the same feeling. You love them, sure, but you don't have that burning desire to be around them. You will miss them when they're at work, and be happy to have them around, but you still have a constant longing to be around your friend. You can't help it. Some may believe it's cheating because they are fulfilling something that your partner can't, even if it isn't in any form of sexual, provocative, etc. way. I don't believe it is unless it's acted upon.
    I have a friend like this and she is amazing. She makes me feel like I really matter to someone, and I do my best to show her that she matters to me. Everytime I go somewhere I try to find something she'd like. Whether it's a cool guitar pick in Japan, or a turtle souvenir that I picked up on deployment in Guam, I just want her to do well in life and know that I'm in her corner for whatever life throws at her. As for my girl, she kissed me and told me she'd be waiting for me when I get back. I decided to surprise her after deployment and her ex answered the door in his bath robe while she put her panties on.

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    • In your opinion, is my exwife the cheater, me, or both? Now another question, put yourself in all the places of this. Which one would leave you the most emotional. Finding out your husband/wife had a best friend that made them light up like a rainbow by just talking to them, or that your husband/wife rocked your bed while you are away?

  • It is cheating your finding comfort and showing your emotions to another guy. You have a husband/boyfriend for a reason if you feel the need to get the same attention you get from your husband you just don’t love him anymore. Just leave and prevent something bigger.

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  • Yea
    And u know it but you want just one reason that maybe is right literally to convince you is right, cuz you already chosen it as right.

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  • Love is the strongest emotion known to man, and it can't be helped. People bond, it's what we do. Liking someone else is not thier fault, and they can't be blamed for it; however going behind thier partners back to act on those feelings is seen as cheeting.

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  • Well, to be more logical, its not cheating. Because, no one can control their emotions, because emotions happens suddenly. But, I have chose "yes its cheating" because everyone can curb their emotions after happening for any reason, which is could be the "loyalty". So, I consider that a cheating only when the person don't curb his emotions that guiding him to cheat.

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  • It's not cheating, but it questions the relationship. And is it just a fling (the emotional feeling) or something more deeper?

    As relationships are built over time and you need a good few years to get that all round experience of the others character.

    The mind plays tricks on us and dreams up perfect people, but living with them gives the full picture so if you have a great relationship don't sacrifice it thinking the grass is greener on the other side, as we're only human after all

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  • You can control if you sex or kiss or play with someone so that is cheating. FEELINGS are feelings and you cannot control them and therefore this can't be cheating, however it is something you should talk to your partner about and try to figure out a way to get the same feelings for your partner again.

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  • You allowed yourself to communicate and knowingly commit feelings to someone other then your partner. You cheated yourself.

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  • Technically yes there is a word for it.
    But if you fall for someone while in a relationship which being very honest is normal your still going to like people when your in a relationship but because you don't act on it that's what doesn't make it cheating. You have to do something physical for it to be cheating.

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  • Of course not for God's sake! That's completely normal... Cheating would be if you would actually do something with the third person and show her your feelings, but you can't do anything about how you feel. Just stop being with the third person 😉

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  • Well how can someone fall in love with someone else If they are involved in a relationship. Isn't going out with another person a bad thing while you are involved. Or texting or calling. Would you appreciate it if you were involved with someone and they were talking to someone else? Would you allow it? I don't think its appropriate. If they have such a good friend in the opposite sex. Sooner or later it will be explored. Respect is always invite your partner to include with. Or don't do it.

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  • Do you think you can fall in love unintentionally though? For example, what if you fall in love with your classmate or co-worker or someone you are assigned to spend time with rather than choosing to spend time with? You're not making any actions, but just being in this person's presence has an effect on you.

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  • Yep, cheating no hesitation. Cheating sounds weird in this case because were talking about love, not acting on it. But if you love another guy, it WILL show.

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  • No, to feel things is human. If a persons feelings reveals to them that their heart is else where that is fine. It only becomes cheating dependent on the following actions.

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  • I don't think it is cheating if you don't act on it. But if you love the other person rather than the person you are with you should seriously consider the status of your current relationship. If you love somebody else, why are you still in your current relationship?

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  • No, it's not cheating but as soon as you start having those feelings it would be smart to break up with your current SO. Don't be a dick about it. It's gonna suck, but it's better than cheating and truly being a fuckboy.

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  • the 78% that said yes are ignorant. To the 78% I say try and control your own personal thoughts for just 1 day and see how you do. No one can control what your mind thinks.

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  • If you fall in love with another person while in a relationship you need to leave the relationship your in. If you just like them as a friend that's different that other person gives you all their love while your splitting it in half which isn't fair

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  • Of course... if it was just physical it would mean nothing. Emotional cheating is almost worse except you haven't acted on it. But your heart belongs to them.

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  • No it is not. But that person should leave current partner, because ebery other action besides falling in love is going to be considered cheating, even going out for coffee.

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    • Thats a really smart outlook on it. I agree with you

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