Do you find it hard to officially get over someone?

Or do you keep dwelling on it for a few months?
How long does it take you usually to get neutral

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes. The hardest women to get over are the ones who you never actually had anything with, because then you're stuck asking "what if?" There was a girl I went to college with who I was crazy about, but she just wasn't feeling it. She didn't even really shut me down, she kind of left me in limbo. I think that leaving me in limbo was probably the cruelest way she could have dealt with the situation, because there was never really an "I'm not into you" talk, and I was basically stuck with this small hope that she would come around.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When I was 17, I was in a relationship for nearly 2 years. It ended when I was 19, and I officially got over it about 1.5 years later. Now, I am 21 and I could care less about that ex. I think about him sometimes, but, all the cheating, lies and pain - none of it hurts anymore. Also, my feelings are gone for him. He’ll always hold a special place in my heart (even though he was a terrible boyfriend and human being), and I’ve come to forgive what he put me through, and i feel so free!

    I think it depends on the duration of the relationship, and how invested you were. I am always really invested in my relationships so it takes me a long time to get over them. But, usually it takes about 6months to 1 year, or a little bit longer :)

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    • It wasn't really long and we weren't in a relationship
      Somewhat dating. But I fell pretty hard and invested a lot and we didn t end it well. It s like ambiguous on bith sides like each person doesn't really get why the other is holding a grudge but no one is taking the step forward due to ego

    • It takes time.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 70

  • It is easy if you did make stupid and big fantasy promise to yourself. If you did not attach yourself to something that may never be urs.
    If you did not let the butterfly turn into pigeon.

    Do not say you could not control... you could but did not want to...

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  • I had a crush when I was in 6th grade..
    Was In friendzone for 6 years.. And it's been 4 years since I saw her.. I see her face I still get those tickles in me..

    Had a crush in college 2 years ago and still totally stumped my her..

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    • Yea until now I yad 3 main crushes
      One when I was 14 then one at 16
      Then one now

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    • Haha...
      But I do.. And I am glad to have a Girl and a friend like you.. I will stay glad until one of this days you steal my Girl.. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

    • Lol that is farfetched but ok

  • My 1st girlfriend for a year we broke up mutual and I was over her after 1 minute.
    My next girlfriend I fell completely in love with, she dumped me but still wanted to be friends. After 1 month I could I started feeling neutral but was far from over her. After about 4 months I was pretty much cool with finding someone else, but I always think about getting back with her and how nice it would be.
    She hits me up and I would instantly find my feelings for her. I think it will always be like that.

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  • Yea very. I only found out how much I loved my last girl after we were done. That is genuinely my loss but sometimes I come close to tears thinking about what it was like having her and how my life is less filled without her in it. We don't speak to each other or see each other. I can only wish her the best when I think about her because that is what I feel and if I can't bring her the happiness she deserves than someone else should.

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  • I think when you're really close to someone, you never fully get over it. Like, my high school sweetheart is married now, yet I still catch myself feeling a tad jealous every once in a while. I don't know her husband, never spoke to the man, but I sorta don't like him. It's weird.

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  • It is an arduous process. Getting over someone is one of the toughest things I've ever done.
    It feels unfair, wrong and downright cruel.
    The best way to ease the process is to get rid of all photos and things that could remind you of that person, but the irony is that it is next to impossible to do so, unless you have a very good friend.
    I do dwell on it. I'm not the dive into the dating game the next day type.

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  • When I love, I love with all my heart. Breaking up or trying to get over that person is extremely hard; especially if they just ignore you. I'm dealing with my own shit, but it gets better. It has to, I can't continue living like this way and I refuse to. No matter how hard it gets or how much it may hurt you will get through it.

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  • For me it takes about a day i dont find it hard because after a break up i think of them as a gray mass... somewhere in the world but not really my concern, it's harder to stay as friends for me then just forget eachother completly. By the words of: "the past never changes, the future always does" dwelling on past mistakes is pointless... what's done is done

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  • It took me years to fully get over my ex, but had a a pretty involved 3 year relationship. Really, its a pretty personal experience how long its going to take someone to "get over it." To speed up the process its good to get out and do things, meet new people or at least make new memories with old friends

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  • It usually takes me a while for me to get over one of my crushes. The average time for me to get over them is usually a month.

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  • If you are the 'dumpee',.. absolutely it's very, very hard to get over & let go of that person. You can't just get over that person within 2 seconds if that person is in the back of your mind & will be in the back of your mind for years yet to come. Experiences like that does tend to change you.

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  • Yes. I went on deployment and the last thing she did was kiss me and tell me that she'll be waiting for me when I get back. I finished it and came back and when I got home her ex answered the door. I found out he moved in shortly after I left and she's invited multiple guys over and ducked them in our bed. I only knew this because my coworker and his family lived by her and they woke up to change their kids diaper and saw her walk out with hardly anything wrapped around him to smoke at 2 in the morning. I still think about her and why I wasn't good enough.

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  • I don't dwell on relationships at this point in my life. Maybe one day, but not now. I have too much fun meeting new people to get that invested in any one girl.

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  • You and that chick not going to work out? It just depends on how I feel about the person. Certain girls have left and I didn't give a shit. Then there are some I wish I could still talk to. Granted those girls I never banged so I guess there's that.

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  • I've been in love with the same woman for 16 years. 12 of those years we were apart. We reconnected 6 months ago.

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  • Depends on how much I cared for that person. There's always that "one" I'll never forget about but usually it'll take a month or until something else catches my eye πŸ˜‚

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  • I can't get over my ex, at least not completely. There is still hope for what we had, and she expressed interest in getting back together, but it's complicated when there is an ocean and unemployment inbetween.

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  • Well, for me it's not that hard cause I guess I was never in a official relationship... But I'm pretty sure for most normal people who has been in a truly intimate relationship.. It's hard..

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  • I don't see a reason as to continuing to suffer and dwell on something when I can let go and look towards the next journey.

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  • Yes yes and yes! WAY too long. Matter of fact, I never got over this one gal who treated me like a friend, that I mistook for more and got burned big time...

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What Girls Said 36

  • Personally, yes.. because it takes me so long to actually love someone. I think I also think I'm ok way earlier than I am, so, I end up in new relationships and they never work out because I didn't have time to heal.

    I think it's taken me about a year to get neutral towards my ex, which is the same for my first love too.

    But they probably don't know that because I got into something new soon after and appeared to be totally fine, whereas they stayed single.

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  • Haven't had any breakups and probably wouldn't cauz wer getting married this Christmas

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  • Of course it's hard, I'm usually "over it" within a few days to a week. I still think about them a lot and miss them of course.

    But with my exes? Not a chance. I've been over it "officially" for a long time. b

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  • Yes. When I fall I fall hard and I fall deep. I never really get over them, feelings fade over time but never really go away.

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  • It takes me a lot of time.. from 6-7 months to 2 years

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  • Well, I originated a personal method on stop thinking about a special guy which surprisingly works. When I notice that I'm beginning to deeply fall for a boy, I try to think 24/7 about another guy and I replace the boy I'm into with the other guy in my imaginations. I don't know why and how it works, but it does. So as soon as I have deeper feelings for sb ( when I know that I don't a chance), I replace him in my thoughts with someone else. Best method I've ever tried tbh

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  • It took me one year to get over my ex. In the meantime I slept with one guy, I almost called him with the name of my ex. And after year I met one person and slept with him. I was in love with how gentle he was. I was in live with his favorite songs and everything. I forgot about my ex. Now I need to forget this guy

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  • Yes. It is really hard for me.. Especially since it is my first relationship. Its because he thinks that i don't really love him thats why he broke with me. I just didn't know how to show him that i love him.. And then its too late.. I really wish i still have chance with him..

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    • Why don t you initiate back

    • Its too late cause he is in a new relationship. And it is complicated now cause he is interested in becoming friends with benefits with me. Makes me keep wondering if there is actually still hope even though he told me his feelings for me has faded.

  • It takes me about double the amount of time I was with them to get over them. For example if I dated him 4 months it would take me about 8 months to get over him.

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  • Usually it's hard for me to get over a guy, it probably would take me months to a year to finally get over him because I'm sometimes stuck with a very small hope and telling myself I could maybe still have a chance with him. Then that very small hope runs in my brain which makes it harder to get over him. To get over the guy, I avoid looking at him and tell myself many times, "he's not worth your time"

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  • When you deeply cared about them, probably one of the hardest things to get over.

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  • it is hard to get over a person you cared about, esp if they dumped you.

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  • Yes at first, the first few weeks to a couple months usually sucks for most people.

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  • Took me a year I tried distracting myself and it was hard but now I just don’t care anymore

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  • Yeahhh it takes me a few months. I’m an overthinker so I keep re-living everything and analyzing our breakup and it always sucks.

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  • If you ever loved someone truly i don't think you will ever get over them at least for me i never got over my ex but memories fade though

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  • It honestly depends on how attached to them you were, you might never dwell on them or never get over them.

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  • I don't stress about it. I let things happen with time.

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  • Time would heal everything and it varies from person to person

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  • It depends. This might be weird but for me, it's harder to get over a crush than it is a boyfriend bc we put our crush on a pedestal and we don't really know what they are about, we just think that they'll be everything we want. But for a bf/gf if we break up its most likely over something hurtful or maybe not but they have mad us feel bad multiple times and so u put that into the equation and u find ur self worth then u realize that you don't need him/herπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ get what I'm saying? So honeatly, it depends on how close u are with that person that u r broken up with...

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