I need some ideas?

My ex break up with me 5 months ago. Mostly because I was too immature. We had fights almost every week. I finely understand what's was wrong all the time, a series of childhood traumas and a bad experience with my first girlfriend. Now I feel a lot different. Like if that break up was the thing that I need too change, to grow up and confront all the that things from my past. I'm sure that I love her, and she feel the same or even more en the past... So, I want to show her my new me. But I stalked her when we break up, with messages and even going to her work to talk to her. She block me in every social media. She probably hates me, or don't want to know nothing of me, and that's reasonable. But I feel, that this man that I am now, is the one she always want me to be. How can I show her this change now? Without been creepy, or stalker again. I can send her a message, but I feel that maybe she's not read it because I was from me, and i never says the true to her, every word that I say to her after the break up, was a lie, something that I think that would work to bring her back. I was immature, creepy, boring, and disrespectful with her space. I need a hand please. I know that in the past, i was everything she wanted, a husband material. But I screw it up with my shit. I want her back, but I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Please, I need some help.
I need some ideas?
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