Why do females shut down when they are mad?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't say for everyone, but for me it's to avoid saying something I regret in the heat of the moment. I don't want to hurt other people since I know when I'm mad everything seems worse or more serious than it actually is. For me, I know that I have a bad but fast temper. It takes a lot to make me mad, but if I do get mad it's really really bad. However, if I take 5-10 minutes to calm down, I'm able to move past it enough to talk rationally about whatever it is that bothered me.

    The other side of it, which I doubt is universal, is that I can't handle being yelled at, especially by guys. I know that men stronger than me and could hurt me if they wanted to and the only reason they don't hurt me is because they don't want to. When a guy's mad I have no way to know if he's suddenly going to hurt me, especially if I'm alone with him, so I really don't want to provoke anyone. Also, I really don't know how much control guys have when they get angry because of testosterone. Most of the guys I know, even ones who are normally level headed, have punched holes in walls against their better judgement when they were angry. On the other hand, not even my angriest female friends get violent when they're mad (they do get verbally abusive, and I also don't handle that well, but that's different). I've been in an abusive relationship before though, so I read into even slight behavior patterns a lot and go to ridiculous lengths to avoid being in that situation again.

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What Girls Said 17

  • With me it’s because I just don’t have the energy to fight anymore. Or because I’m making valid points about the thing that caused the fight, and he’s just looking for more little things to pick on so there’s literally no point in me talking to him.

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  • What does screaming and yelling get you? I'd rather wait to talk when everyone is calm and rational... and girls get called crazy and bitches if we fight back... it's fine for guys but apparently bitches be crazy if we act the same way.

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  • I don't think that's true for everyone, but I think I see what you mean.

    Some women don't like to show conflict but will act behind the scenes passively.

    I prefer to just yell at whoever made me angry and move on. Maybe the Aries in me.

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  • sometimes they may do that to avoid saying something they may regret later as its just in the heat of the moment. Maybe giving themselves some time to reflect and analyse the situation before making a decision on how they handle it

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  • You must be kidding yourself if you think guys don't do that as well.

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  • Because we usually don't want to talk about why we are mad or get into detail about it. We are kinda stuck up when we get mad.

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  • Because they want you to know what crap she thinks you did to upset her instead of coming as a nagger. Which we are.

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  • Sometime we have no words that's why we shut down. But I'll tell you a secret. Wait for 5min (not longer) and give a hug to your girlfriend and things will be better.

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  • Cause I'm a cunt and I want alone time lol. Honestly tho I just prefer to be alone when I'm mad or upset to avoid anymore problems.

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  • Every one does that. I guess it's bcz they can't afford to get hurt again by anyone else.

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  • Everybody does that. You do that. Females just do it more often. It takes less

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  • Gets our point across and makes people fight for us

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  • That's our way to feeling better when we're mad

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  • It hard to talk about it

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  • To avoid being violent. ;)

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  • Because it's always his fault.

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  • So they don’t say angry things they regret.

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