The halo on my head is now TRASHED!

I am torn and quite honestly don't know what to do. I have a close male friend who I have known about a year. I have always tried to be a good, caring, supportive friend to him.

He went through a tough break up and I helped him through it. His ex has reappeared in his life after 8 months. She hurt him very deeply and has not treated him well in my opinion. He still took the time to talk to her for hours to 'catch up' and mend fences. As soon as he found out she wanted to talk again, he was extremely happy and smiley.

He told me he spoke to her but was afraid to tell me because he thought I'd be mad or hurt. I was kind of surprised but don't really care anymore. I told him I do not control his life and he can do what he wants.

The problem I have is I think my work is done. I helped him when I could. I know this girl is going to hurt him again or he will fall for her. I just don't have the energy to deal with it. Besides that I am extremely hurt that I could never cheer him up or make him smile like that. I just feel futile.

Should I move on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds to me like he means more to you than a friend. If so, do move on. If not, hang around but let him know that your feelings that he's just going to get hurt again. When she does, he'll know that you have good insight and he MAY be more willing to listen next time. Yes...next time. There will be a next time too. Can you live with that too?

    Hope I don't sound mean but I'm not trying to. Don't forget to be kind to yourself. No reason to put yourself out there just to get trampled is there? Do some deep thinking about this before you give so much of yourself.

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    • Thanks for best answer. Sorry I didn't proof read it better!

      Do take care of yourself. You sound like a really sweet person.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • No don't move on. Still be his friend. Just because he made a bad decision or judgement call don't hold that against him. Just don't give him all of your energy to have a shoulder to cry on when she breaks his heart again. Be their for him but keep it short. It's hard for people to get over an ex. And everybody's recovery time is different. Don't be hurt by it and you did made him happy. You was their when he needed somebody to talk to.

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  • you say you're his friend, but you're talking like he's your boyfriend. what do you mean "move on"? isn't he still your friend

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    • He isn't my boyfriend and I don't really see how my question supposedly implies that.

    • Show All
    • The issue is this: He was an angry, depressed, and extremely sad person after the break up. I have never seen someone so broken. He is a good person. I do not like the way she treated him. If he is friends with her then that is beyond my control. I don't have the energy to offer emotional support anymore.

    • Why do you assume he'll need support? you think she'll dump him?

  • This is what I have done with my friends... I am there to provide comfort and advice when you need it. However if you ignore my advice or something happens that I told you was going to happen, don't come crawling back to me cause I am not going to help you again.

    Of course still be his friend just let him know if he gets hurt again by her you don't want to hear him complain.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Stay there for him, just make sure he knows you do not agree with his desicion, however it is his life and if he wants to do this you cannot stop him.

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  • NO. stand by him and let him do what he wants. But leaving him on his own CAN and probably will lead to destructive things. Offer advice and tell him to go get some help. but that's plenty to offer. its not your life or problem and you will have his back but he has to deal with it on his own.

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