What does my ex really want?

Me and my ex were going out together for 5 months. It got really serious towards the end where she wanted to get married to me next year, although we didn't plan anything about it. She then found out that id been clubbing and thought I had sex with a girl there, and she said she wouldn't want to be with me if I did because of the whole sex before marriage thing. I assured her I hadn't had sex, so we got back together, but then we broke up again at the end of June. we didn't talk for about a month but then I got the feeling she wanted me back but because I was on holiday we didn't. Its been 4 months since the break up that we haven't gotten back together, and since that point we were always talking to each other on and off.. It was like we just couldn't be friends and we needed more but didn't get it. The other day we were talking and she said she just wants to be friends but she kept ringing me everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. She also would tell me about how she's friends with some guys and how she invited one guy over to her place, because she's at uni.. could that be an attempt to make me jealous for some reason?. I get the distinct impression that she doesn't want to get into a relationship with me again because she doesn't trust me when I say I didn't have sex, and I never really got to explain to her what I've actually done to earn her trust.. and I think that's been setting us back, she got really mad when I said we can't be just friends the other day so were not talking at the moment. but what's happening now has been happening for the past 4 months, except back then I couldn't tell that the actual problem for why we didn't get together again was because of the trust. I feel like I should get her to ring me and explain sincerely that I never had sex and also explain just how much I've done to earn her trust but I'm at a loss for whether to try to explain and try to get her back once and for all.. or has she really just moved on and doesn't want me:/ ?


Most Helpful Girl

  • What does your ex really want? In answer to that question, it sounds like she wants to punish you which is unfortunate because you didn't do anything. Maybe when she thought that you were messing around, it stirred up an emotional trigger for her because she may have been hurt this way by someone else. This event may have put you on the same level of the guy(s) that may have hurt her in the past so unfortunately you are probably being punished for their actions.

    I know that you miss her, and with the way that you are feeling at this moment you disagree with my next statement. Fact is, you may be better off without her. Because if she allows the actions of other guys to make an assessment of the kind of man that you are, then she will never know a good man when she sees one. She will go from guy to guy all her life because of this, unless she accepts that every man should be given a fair chance to prove who he is. Can you imagine being with a woman that does not trust you? You must have trust to have a relationship.

    And a word of advice, it may not be a good idea to go to clubs, parties, or anywhere without your girlfriend at your side. Because these are places where single people hang out. Also, watch who you hang around. If your friends are not supportive of your relationship, then they are not worth keeping company with. Just use the golden rule. Would you want your girlfriend hanging out at clubs or parties without you? Don't provide fuel for such misconceptions.

    I wish you the best and if this one doesn't come to her senses, I hope you find a girl that you can trust and that will trust you.

    • I have no idea why, but you just made me smile, so thanks lol :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • It’s been a fue months. Move on.

    I would say she is playing the jealousy card, if she can’t trust you, is it really worth it?

    You shouldn’t have to earn her trust when you have done nothing wrong.

    The whole ignoring and speaking thing is frustrating, if you want to be with her simply ask her.. What do you want?

    • I want her back.. I've never loved anyone the way I love her. And she seems to think that I have broken her trust though.. because she thinks I'm lying about the sex, how do I get her back:/.. I'm pretty sure she still has feelings for me but she doesn't want to let me know that. We literally were the perfect couple and it just feels like everything broke off over a misunderstanding, and if it wasn't for that wed still be happy

  • She probably wants you to be jealous and then ask her out again because you think she likes you. When you ask her out, she might want to try to get you mad and say no because she doesn't trust you. I would tell her you really have to talk to her and can she please be quiet because it's important. Then, I'd explain to her that you didn't have sex and then I'd ask her out again, if you really want to. I wouldn't ask her out again, because if my boyfriend didn't trust me, he wouldn't be worth it.


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