If you love someone, let them go?

and if they come back, they're yours. how true is this especially with guys? I don't see a girl running back to a guy, even if she wanted to.

Updates:
another question. should I try running after someone I already set free a long time ago? I miss her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's like if you catch a wild bird and keep in in a cage as a pet. You have no way of knowing if that bird actually wants to be yours---it has no choice in whether it leaves or stays. The only way you can really know is if you let it free and give it that choice. It might stick around anyway, it might fly away but then return to you, or it might fly away and not come back. There lies your answer.

    In the same way, if you're in a relationship with someone and they feel like they can't leave (or they try to but you're constantly trying to convince them not to go or to come back), they might not feel like they're with you because they actually want to be with you. On the other hand, if you tell someone, "I want to be with you. But I only want to be with you if you also want to be with me," you're telling them that "being with me is a choice... and its YOUR choice to make." When you feel like you actually have that choice, you're better able to decide what you really want. You might decide you want to stay, you might leave and come back (but you're coming back on your own accord), or you might decide it isn't the kind of relationship you want and leave for good.

    I don't know about you, but I'd rather be with someone who is choosing to be with me than someone who feels like they have to be with me.

    If a girl TRULY wants to be with you, she will be. Of course, there are exceptions---there will always be girls who like to play games--ones who expect you to chase after them and if you don't chase or put up a fight to keep them, they decide that you don't "care" enough.. but those girls are crazy and immature.

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What Guys Said 1

  • like about every truism I have encountered. They have exceptions. This is a great rule to live by but who's to say the one time you let them go, and you should not have. Was not the time you should not have. Forever ruining your cosmic destiny... OK melodramatic yes, in truth you just may have missed out on one of "the ones" however, I get now that another one comes along just be prepared that it may be another 5-10 years before it happens.

    Risk does in fact create reward. That truth slaps us in the face every day. So in theory letting someone you love go is a risk and very well may reap it's reward. However letting someone go expecting the reward is where you are not risking, but being an idiot.

    Now to answer your question about if it works... Have you not seen women flocking to romance movies? Do you think that's some pure coincidence? If a person feels compelled to not give up on something or someone what's going to stop them? I've seen and done this quite a few times and it always works. But I speculate because I never expect any reward, it was just supposed to happen

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