I posted here before, and you all were a little helpful, but I just want some advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I really don't want to get over her, she is the perfect girl for me. We were great together...and the more I was with her the more I fell in love with her. Even if it was only about a year. There was never a moment where I did not want to be with her. We took it slow too, we never fought, she was so into me, but I started to sense she was being a little distant, and she eventually broke up with me. It was hard for her to be honest, but she said it was from a "high-school sweetheart" that hasn't spoke to her in 10 years called her out of the blue ( he lives in another state pretty far ) and some past family issues. She said she wanted to do soul-searching too. Whatever the reason, It is killing me so much.
It's been about 2 months, and although the extreme depression and anxiety I have gotten from it has subsided a bit, my feelings for her are even stronger. How do I know she is the one? I am a good thinker, I don't get emotional easily, so I am really good a thinking and working my way out of any situation. Not this one though; she has the most beautiful face, laugh, smile, personality, music, determination, and everything else about her. You might not think anyone is perfect, but damn it, there is absolutely nothing I can even think of that I don't love about her. I would do anything with her and for her.
You might think that I have an Infatuation, obsession, or maybe I am a little crazy? I think not, and I am thinking very clearly when I say these things. I am 25 years old, and I might be young, but I am smart enough to know that these feelings are real and true. As strange as it might sound, I know she is "the one" (that everyone talks about) for me.
Not to be rude, but spare me the "move on", "you will get over it" advice. I am not the average type of person, that might get a rebound relationship or what not, to get over their ex; I don't want any other girl, and I don't want to be without her. She lives about an hour and a half away, and this is not the problem, we talked about maybe moving in together eventually. There is no obstacle that will prevent me from wanting to be with her.
She said she wanted to still have me in her life and that she loved me. She kinda ignores me a bit when I try to talk to her, and I don't obsessively contact her. I sent a small love/goodbye letter, saying how much I care for her and how I would like to be with her (without coming on too strong).
So my question is, not how to get over her, but how can I get her back? What can I do, say? The more time that goes by, I feel that, even if she does have feelings for me, she might think it is best for me to not be with her. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt me by thinking she is a burden, and that is not true. I don't know, but please, any real advice (not the cliche ones that are given out all the time) is much appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
Here's the thing. The more you chase, the more you will push her away. The more friendly you act, the more of a "friend" you will become and you will stay there. She KNOWS how you feel about her already, so trying to convience her, small talk, hanging with her, and the once in a while "hello" will do you no good. Friendship is never the way to get someone back or to start a relationship. You have friends already, and the friendship ended when you two got together. Being there for her just tells her that she doesn't have to be in love with you for you to be in her life, and she will take advantage of that. Trust me when I say this, but moving on is one of the best ways to get someone back. Why? It gives you focus on yourself, time for her to miss you, and for you to improve on your life. You have gave her all the power, and she figures that she can have you anytime she wants, which is too easy. That's where you have already screwed up and you have to change your game asap. Women like a challenge, drama, conflict, excitementand spontaneous action. Being nice, dependable, and giving a woman what she wants all the time gets boring, predictable, and will have her "need time" to think about the relationship she is in, even if everything is going good. You have to pull away from her totally. By doing so you will send the message that you don't NEED her to have a life, take care of business, and do exciting things. Let me put this another way. Say you are playing poker. If you just show your cards then everyone will know what you have, thus the excitement is gone and you are no fun or no threat. This is how you have to be with your feelings for her. Don't tell her you miss her, or you love her. She already knows, and if you say it to her it will become annoying. Think about your favorite food. Would you eat your favorite food every meal, everyday, same time, same place? Even though it's good, you will become sick of it quickly and you will start eating something else. This is what happened to your relationship at one point trust me. She can't miss you if you are already there, or if it's guaranteed that you will be there for her. Don't say you will wait for her. Moving on is a shock treatment. Stop chasing her, and don't contact her. DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH HER. Become better without her being in the picture and she will wonder about you, and come chasing after you. If she doesn't come after you, then you will have your ultimate answer on what she wants from you. Don't be a sucker by letting her have her cake and eat it too. It's not what you want to hear, but it's realistic. Go out, go with the flow, have fun, meet more people, become the alpha male that women want, move forward and don't look back. Stop putting her on a pedistal and stop feeding her ego. Girls get chased all the time, so break that cycle. Stop chasing, go the other way, and let her catch up to you...1