My relationship is falling apart and I believe we are nearing the end. I’ve been with him for over a year and he is my first love. I’ve really had a hard time staying strong while all this is going on so if you guys have any advice on how to get through this it’ll be greatly appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
Keep yourself busy. this isn't what you want to hear, but it takes time. Which is why you should keep yourself busy. Sitting around focusing on the emptiness accomplishes nothing except make you feel worthless.
It helps to remind yourself of what you're gaining rather than what you're losing. (This is how I cope with pretty much every shitty situation and it helps me quite a bit). You're 'losing' the relationship, but what you gained is what you learned throughout the experience and the experience itself. Mistakes are how we learn. you're a better, stronger, more mature, and more aware person than you were before the relationship. Your experiences are also unique to you, no one else gets to experience exactly what you do and that makes you, you. You own it, no one else but you, in all of history. You've completed another piece to your unique structure. If that makes sense? That helps me find closure and appreciate it for what it is.
You're also gaining the opportunities that come with being single. You don't have to worry about pleasing your partner. Please yourself, go and pursue whatever you want, anything.1
Most Helpful Girl
I'm terrible at this. I am a busy body and I never slow down to smell the flowers when they're beautiful nor do I notice when they've died. My only advice would be to allow yourself to go through the motions. Just like the death of a loved one, you have to go through the motions and pretty much mourn the lost of your dreams with this person, and mourn the lost of them in your life. You'll have an array of different emotions and each will have to take it's course. Some may take a long time to subside, and some may pass quickly. I know I felt anger, sadness, joy, reminisced the past, wondered why it didn't work... Yunno all those things. I was very open and at times felt like a broken record, but I also feel that it allowed my feelings to flow out and the process of moving past my brokenness faster. Anything is better than dwelling in sorrow.1