Is it true after your heart being broken the 1st time, you'll need another person to become the replacement?

It was my first love and my first break-up...and it's still hurt until now. People said that I should search another man to be with so that I can heal. But I don't like using people like that... Is there no other way out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Having some experience myself, I know how you feel. I believe that you don't necessarily need another guy to fix the heartbreak that you feel. I can tell you that it is helpful to have a friend to get you through the pain, but it isn't impossible to do by yourself. One thing you do have to realize though, is that there will continue to be pain that you will feel no matter how long you go after a breakup. I mean it depends on the extent of the relationship, but certain things will set off emotions. Again, this is where friends who can relate come in. It does get better as time goes on and especially when you do find true love.

    The reason that people often say to find another guy (which can be a very bad idea) is because the guy acts as a distraction to those emotions and provides a kind of cushion to soften the emotional pain. Your conscious that is telling you not to use a guy like that is in the right place though. The method of a "recoil" date often leads to greater pain and heart break.

    I hope that I have been able to help a little bit and if you ever want to talk, I'm here to help. I know how you feel and I'll tell you this... It will get better, You will survive, and The pain will go away. Things do get better, trust me I know. My first and only Girlfriend, Fiancée, and Breakup so far were all the same person... and I'm still here, doing OK and helping others. Best of luck, I'll be praying for you... and If you need a friend, I would be honored to help.

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What Guys Said 1

  • you don't need no one but yourself

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't necessarily go "searching" for a new guy. Just take time to yourself for now. I was in your position at one point and I thought that running to the next available guy I could find would solve my heart ache. I was wrong. I wasn't patient enough to let someone come to me for a mutual attraction and not just a rebound.

    So like I said, let a mutual feeling happen. If you happen to meet someone that you take a big intrest in, then go for it.

    Other than that, the "healing process" differs from woman to woman. Some take days, weeks, months or even years. Go to the beat of your own drum.

    We're all bound to get our hearts broken at least a few times in our lives until we meet the right person that is just perfect for us. So maybe those heart breaks will be worth it one day.

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  • There is definitely some truth in that. If you aren't distracted or don't have someone else to rely on emotionally, then you are just going to spend all your time pining over your ex. I'm in this position at the moment, I miss my ex and he was the first person I've ever felt so strongly for, but he didn't treat me well and I know he doesn't deserve me. So I have began to get involved with another guy, even though I'm not completely over my ex, and this guy understands that. He builds up my confidence, he compliments me, he gives me someone to distract myself with so I'm not thinking about my ex, and on the days where I'm lonely and down, it gives me someone else to turn to other than running back to my ex. Today, actually, my ex called me for the first time in about a month just out of the blue, it really nearly ruined all the progress I'd made over the last month to move on, and without knowing that I have the possibility to be with a new amazing guy, I would have gone running back.

    No, you don't have to find someone else. If you believe that your friends and family give you the support you will need to not contact him and not miss him, then you can just lean on them. But in my case, the new guy I'm seeing has become a rock for me, he is helping me a lot more than he realises, and I would choose him over my ex any day, so I don't believe he's getting used.

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  • No I think doing something you are passionate about helps heal your soul. Better than healing with a person as you don't have control over them , the way you will with something you do or find or create or help. Find your own strength , its healthier than looking for someone else to heal you. I actually think its damaging to fix one persons actions with another person. I think you should strengthen yourself first so you can separate one person from the next.

    I've only been hurt once but what hurts is that I was largely reponsible its not like I ever broke up with anyone I just couldn't get involved. But I don't go to another person -ever. One because I don't want to forget about so, memory I liked them for a reason & want to keep it but also I don't want to confuse the next person with them, or have behavior towards the new based and the old- I see this happen all the time.

    Thin of food poisoning. Give your stomach a rest after you've ben sick, you don't eat ice cream when you just has bad sushi. It'll make your next real meal much better and you'll do better digesting it. otherwise yo might think something that is not making you sick, is making you sick.

    Id just take time to heal, feel your strengths your weaknesses then move on :) :)

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