I gained weight after being cheated on, I feel so insecure, what can I do?

Before I found out my ex boyfriend had been cheating, I had a fairly consistent workout routine. I had lost nearly 30 pounds and was in really good shape. However, after finding out he cheated, it was hard for me to find motivation to go to the gym and so i stopped going for about 2 months (with an occasional gym session here and there). I began to eat really unhealthy food and gained about 8-10 pounds. I am really devastated by this weight gain, and i hate feeling so insecure about it. My clothes don’t fit how they used to, and although I have been going to the gym again (it’s been nearly 4 months since me and my ex broke up), losing the extra weight is really hard for me. I often find myself getting discouraged and frustrated. I am really mad at myself for letting myself go, and for gaining all this weight. Whenever men give me attention i get really insecure because I just feel fat and bloated all the time.

What can I do? Other than workout to feel better?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you gotta look at it differently. You're taking it out on yourself when in reality you should use that as a motivator. Like screw him, get the best body you've ever had, be happy and realize you don't need him for motivation. Do it for you. You'll be happier in the end. I'm sure you were feeling good before, that doesn't have to change. Ask some friends who may be up for going too.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can still "workout" but switch up what you do. Take some fun dance classes. Cardio induced and you will feel amazing and its a great confidence boost. If you feel you aren't a dancer... go on YouTube and look up Matt Steffanina dance videos and tutorials he has dance classes for all ages and sizes. I mainly want you to see how fun his classes are.. how there is no judgement and plus his songs are always banging! There are similar classes in gyms or in dance centres with cheap drop in dance fees. You will kill two birds with one stone by trying dance classes. I used to just dance around at home and you would be amazed how much you can lose and what dancing to hype music does for your mood.

    But above all my dear you are beautiful...

    His cheating says nothing about you... it just shows his character... he showed his ass. He was just blocking who is truly meant for you..

    If you need a sholdor... big sis got ya over here *big hugs* stay fierce

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What Guys Said 13

  • Your ex cheating sucks I would use that anger to motivate and blast the gym also another way to feel better is finding someone else often helps by building up your confidence. There is someone out there that will make you happy. And just to add it takes a real asshole to cheat trust me you will be better off without

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  • Hey hun 🖐🏼 I'm really sorry to hear that. Don't be ashamed of it, you're not alone. A lot of people have experienced the same. I think there's a different in between how girls and guys handle such a situation. Most guys, also me, tend to eat way less than normal. I ate less or simply nothing and have lost about 11 pounds within a few weeks (I was already defined before so it wasn't water, but fat!). Girls tend to eat more and unhealthy what makes them gain some weight. That's also what has happened to you too.
    What you can do to feel better? Depends on if you're ready to accept yourself the way you are. Girls often missunderstand what guys are looking for. Shy and cute is mostly more appreciated than arrogant and hot.
    You can work on your body of course by coming back to a healthy diet, and I would recommend that, but that's not all. You're 18 - 24 years old, just like me. We are both young sweety. Go out, have fun, meet your girls, and make watch out for a new prince in a shining armor. There are so many dudes outta there, and when a dude starts flirting with you, it's obvious that you're attractive! We guys are easy in thinking. We like a girl, we flirt with her (or act weird when we have too less confidence), or simply ignore her, when she isn't attractive or the wrong time to flirt.
    However I wish you good luck, and have fun. ✌🏼

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  • Depression sucks.. Regardless of how you got there. Activity is a big help. and it doesn't have to be the gym... But you also have to work as keeping your health diet and life style and that is not easy when you don't give a fuck... I can tell you, I have lived it.. ,

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  • Girl you are beautiful the way you are. Dont let someone say you are ugly due to your weight, they only say that because they are insecure about themselves! Love yourself and it will show!! Self confident women are very sexy for a REAL man! A true man wouldn't look at you for your body but your heart and soul

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  • its all inside your head so here's how you control it. First you need to set a strict schedule: you need to eat healthily, you need to go to bed on time and wake up early, exercise once a day, and make sure you keep yourself going no matter how hard you want to just give up. Its all about you. If your depression becomes a concern then seek help from a professional.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You shouldn't allow what your ex-boyfriend did to you make you feel like you have no value. You are valuable and important, and just because somebody treats you badly doesn't mean your value decreases. Try your best to go back to your exercise routine. What is a good idea is to put up post its up on your mirror of positive things like "you're beautiful" "you're valuable" "you're amazing" to help you feel better about yourself

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  • I know you want to hear something other than working out and losing weight but the truth is, that's the answer. You'll feel a lot better, get healthier, and feel more confident. Plus, you'll make him regret that too.

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  • Remember that you're doing it for yourself and treat yourself with clothes or a beauty treatment on weeks you've done well and just remember the best revenge is when his mates tell him they saw you looking hot and oozing with confidence 10 pounds really isn't that bad and your confidence will be worth the hard work

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  • Get fit as hell , then beat your ex , you will feel better.

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  • Get back to your routine.

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