Why won't he back off?

so this guy and I were constantly talking/flirting. he seemed to really like me, but then he mentioned a girlfriend so I backed off. thing is, he started really trying to talk to me the moment I did that. he's been respectful, keeping it friendly, but he teases me/flirts from time to time. we have weird friendship thing right now and we went out the other night with friends and he was really into talking with me, being extra flirty, but again - still with the girlfriend. every time I ignore him, he persues me further. what am I suppose to do? I don't want to ask him to back off because what if I'm reading him wrong? I don't want to look like an ass, but I'm pretty certain he likes me.


maybe I should mention he's shy/socially awkward? could this be contributing to his behavior? this is why I'm not sure if he's being an ass or not because what if he's just comfortable with me and I'm misreading comfort as flirty?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He wants what he can't have. He can't have you for two reasons - he has a girlfriend and you know it so you're not messing with it.

    He definitely likes you...but that's just shady on his part. Be careful hun!

    • Why are people voting her down? this is what I think is happening. I don't think it's JUST this, but I think the challenge is also an appealing factor of his persuit.

    • LOL, didn't even notice people were voting me down until I read your comment. Oh well, lol, we all have our opinions, that's why we're here :D Good luck sweetie!!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Hey, yes he has a girlfriend and he is talking to you a bit much. As such, I think it's appropriate for you to tell him how you feel. Just say "I know you have a girlfriend and I respect your relationship. I'm happy being friendly with you, but I'd prefer if you didn't flirt with me."

    Is Smiling Flirting? -> link

    What is the difference between hanging out and dating? -> link


    - Evan

  • I like to think the best of people at first. As a guy speaking on women with boyfriends, I've found them to be the friendliest and most engaging. They aren't worried about saying the wrong thing or making impressions or trying to read you to see if there are ulterior motives behind your actions because even if there are... it doesn't matter because she's happily in a relationship and not interested. It's really depressing sometimes because women are really attractive when they ditch all the bullsh** games and just act normal but you can't do anything because they're happily in a relationship.

    Hopefully that gives you something to chew on before you accuse him of being a potential cheater.

    • See, he just stares at me sometimes from across the room and when I first fall back, he'll just awkwardly watch me a couple of days and then he'll say hey or he'll fb message me dumb question... he gets jealous when I talk to other guys, etc. I just don't think that's 'friendly' behavior. I tested it and told him I had a date one weekend and he gets really quiet and won't even look at me while we're talking. do friends do that?

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    • Well regardless this guy sounds like a dramatic train wreck the way you're describing him. If he's still bothering you just tell him you have genital warts. That'll chase him off.

    • LOL omg, I won't do that. he's so awkward and shy already, so that's not helping the situation. I'm just going to wait this out. if he makes any advances, other than flirting a little, I'll put my foot down. right now it's too up in the air and uncertain what he's aiming to do.

  • Did you mentioned to him that you want to back off because he has girlfriend? If not, then he will keep to get your attention.

    • *he will keep trying to...

    • No, I didn't because I don't want to be the one to have that conversation. although I'm almost certain he likes me, my self-consciousness makes me not bold enough to tell him that. I don't want him to know I like him because that puts me in a very vulnerable place with a very involved man. I don't know if I'm making sense.

    • That is sad. there were and are girls that were talking to me, then suddenly they turn off. WHY?!! They don't tell me. I'll not make same "mistake(?)" again. But they just turn off themselves. Why? I'll not eat you. I want a outspoken girl, like me.

  • And may be, he is not hay with his current girlfriend.


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