If a guy beat me while I was pregnant, beat me after baby was born, cheated on me, and ghosted my baby and I to be with another woman?

In a different state, should he be allowed in said child's life?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't know...

    The fact that you're still with him (or being close enough for him to touch you...) make me believe that you're not fit to make choices either... For yourself or the child...

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    • He was kicked out and he moved to a different state. Police have been to my house numerous times because of his violence and I've stayed at a domestic abuse shelter with my baby. He found me after I fled the state when I was 7 months pregnant and he kept threatening to kill me if I didn't either stay with him, or abort the baby. He's gone so what do you mean I'M unfit...

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    • Yeah, I'm on West coast and will most likely go as far east coast as possible.

    • 👌...

      If he still finds you... Someone you know is giving him information...

      You and your baby need to "disappear"...

      Best of luck...

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he's violent then no. If it was just the cheating and the ghosting then yes, he should be involved but being violent and aggressive means, in my opinion, he shouldn't be allowed near a baby.

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    • Very violent and aggressive and threatened to kill me because I was leaving him and he didn't want a broken family but didn't ever want to stop beating my was and putting my unborn child at the time and I in harm's way.

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    • Then no, he shouldn't get to be around the child. Like I said, if it was just the cheating then yes - him being a shitty boyfriend doesn't mean he'd be a shitty father, y'know? In that case, I'd advocate for him to be in the kid's life. In this case, he's aggressive and has proven himself to be capable of attacking you. I wouldn't risk my child around a man like that, I'd be terrified he'd lash out at our baby and at the very least, he'd be a very bad example to look up to. It'd mess the kid up and put them in danger.

    • Yeah it was definitely more than just cheating. He would kick me in my stomach in the beginning of pregnancy and when I started to show, would beat my legs and arms. He would bring girls to my house to fuck them and tell them I was his cousin. He has busted my lip open, put a scar on my chin, broke my finger, broke my toe etc. I'm really wondering if all of this evidence in police reports and medical records would hold up in court and prove him unfit.

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What Guys Said 8

  • No, he shouldn't. He's a violent abuser and no judge should agree to grant him visitation.

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  • No, he has a history of violent behaviour and would therefore be a potential risk to your child.

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  • Neither you nor child is safe with him or have any future with him.

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  • No he shouldn't be allowed in the babies life. He sounds pretty unstable type of person you deserve much better.

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  • He should be allowed in said child's life, yes

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    • Why? He says he wants to then later on isn't consistent in setting up visitations. Will say he's coming and never show up.

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    • Yep. He believed in beating me into submission.

    • He was just trying out new kinks

  • Yes he should

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    • He didn't have my baby's best interest in mind when he was trying to beat her out of me. Agree to disagree.

  • No... He shouldn't be allowed to live either

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  • thats generally for the court to decide

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What Girls Said 9

  • So he started beating you when you were pregnant? So there was a time he was sweet and happy. You had sex with him. You both created a child. So yeah, he should still get contact, but under supervision. In the UK it could be at a contact centre.

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    • Beat me during and after pregnancy. He didn't care that by hitting me I fell on my child. No fuckin way I'm gonna make it easy for him. He was sweet prior to pregnancy. Got pregnant, and he turned into Jekyll and Hyde.

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    • I wasn't the abuser or making threats to kill me. Stupid bitch, I got pregnant and then the abuse started. He ain't seeing neither one of us. Fuck your views.

    • him*

  • No he shouldn't. He hasn't treated you with respect at any point.
    Why allow him back into your life if he's hurt you so bad and abandoned you guys when you need him?
    Fuck him. Let him go and fuck about - you do you. Raise your kid in the best way you can

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    • I don't plan to let him back in my life but I believe him to eventually my baby as a way to control me and be in my life forever when he starts to miss the hold he had on me and his new girl kicks him out for being violent towards her or when she finds out he's a cheater... it's like he wants to always use me as a "back up" to avoid homelessness. And uses my baby as an excuse for that to happen.

  • He deserves to be in prison and never get near you or the child ever again.

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    • His reasoning for leaving us is because he said he wanted to kill me and didn't want to risk his freedom.

    • Which just further shows that he should never see you two again.

  • No. He shouldn't get anywhere near you or the baby. This guy deserves the death penalty.

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  • No but with choices like hers, I’d question whether the mother should be in the baby’s life as well.

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    • Why cause I couldn't get away from my abuser til I moved to a state where I had a lot of family that wouldn't let him just put his hands on me? How is it my fault he kept me hostage in my own house til he finally decided to get a job and I fled the state he was in? He found me. I can't stand a victim blamer.

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    • No but I was working on a tpo when I was at domestic abuse shelter.

    • That doesn’t require a lot of work. You just go to the court, fill out a form and generally within two days a TRO/TPO is issued.

  • He shouldn’t be anywhere near you or that kid.

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    • Somebody with some sense.

  • Children in your heart is broken

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  • No because this is abuse and letting him in your child’s life will only cause the child harm. Don’t let the father be part of the child’s life no matter what. He shouldn’t be around you either. Get a restraining order?

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  • Ask Dr Phil

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