Have an opinion?
If he's violent then no. If it was just the cheating and the ghosting then yes, he should be involved but being violent and aggressive means, in my opinion, he shouldn't be allowed near a baby.
Very violent and aggressive and threatened to kill me because I was leaving him and he didn't want a broken family but didn't ever want to stop beating my was and putting my unborn child at the time and I in harm's way.
Kept me from prenatal appointments and held me hostage in my own house..
Til I eventually escaped.. but he found me after baby was born, beat me some, had me on the verge of suicide til he cut the rope o was hanging from and made my post partum depression 10x worse to the point I had to be hospitalized.
Then no, he shouldn't get to be around the child. Like I said, if it was just the cheating then yes - him being a shitty boyfriend doesn't mean he'd be a shitty father, y'know? In that case, I'd advocate for him to be in the kid's life. In this case, he's aggressive and has proven himself to be capable of attacking you. I wouldn't risk my child around a man like that, I'd be terrified he'd lash out at our baby and at the very least, he'd be a very bad example to look up to. It'd mess the kid up and put them in danger.
Yeah it was definitely more than just cheating. He would kick me in my stomach in the beginning of pregnancy and when I started to show, would beat my legs and arms. He would bring girls to my house to fuck them and tell them I was his cousin. He has busted my lip open, put a scar on my chin, broke my finger, broke my toe etc. I'm really wondering if all of this evidence in police reports and medical records would hold up in court and prove him unfit.
Don't know...The fact that you're still with him (or being close enough for him to touch you...) make me believe that you're not fit to make choices either... For yourself or the child...
He was kicked out and he moved to a different state. Police have been to my house numerous times because of his violence and I've stayed at a domestic abuse shelter with my baby. He found me after I fled the state when I was 7 months pregnant and he kept threatening to kill me if I didn't either stay with him, or abort the baby. He's gone so what do you mean I'M unfit...
Girl you CAN be fit to make the right choices. Just get away from this guy. START making those decisions now, starting with getting away from him. Dream of a better life and go after that :)
I'm working on that now. I got a job in my field of interest, live in a beautiful three bedroom, and have my beautiful baby. Only thing is, he still knows where I live he just moved to a different state so I still don't feel safe and am planning on moving to a different state again to make sure he can't follow me.
Definitely move out and perhaps somewhere not close to that area? If possible
Yeah, I'm on West coast and will most likely go as far east coast as possible.
👌...If he still finds you... Someone you know is giving him information...You and your baby need to "disappear"...Best of luck...
No he shouldn't. He hasn't treated you with respect at any point.Why allow him back into your life if he's hurt you so bad and abandoned you guys when you need him? Fuck him. Let him go and fuck about - you do you. Raise your kid in the best way you can
I don't plan to let him back in my life but I believe him to eventually my baby as a way to control me and be in my life forever when he starts to miss the hold he had on me and his new girl kicks him out for being violent towards her or when she finds out he's a cheater... it's like he wants to always use me as a "back up" to avoid homelessness. And uses my baby as an excuse for that to happen.
So he started beating you when you were pregnant? So there was a time he was sweet and happy. You had sex with him. You both created a child. So yeah, he should still get contact, but under supervision. In the UK it could be at a contact centre.
Beat me during and after pregnancy. He didn't care that by hitting me I fell on my child. No fuckin way I'm gonna make it easy for him. He was sweet prior to pregnancy. Got pregnant, and he turned into Jekyll and Hyde.
Unfortunately he has rights to see his child. My mum and dad had the same relationship as you and your ex. Let me tell you now, the child should see both of you, and be allowed to make their own choice on you both. Do NOT try and turn the child against their dad. This is very important, and I tell you from my own experience. It makes sure you don't push your child into their fathers arms. You don't have to like him, and I get why (don't understand why you stayed with him, but I know the reasons people do) but the child has to make their own choice.
I too had parents in that situation and it was best for everybody to not be in my father's life. Threatening to kill me over and over so eventually my baby loses both parent's? Ain't no way.
We haven't been together for a while and he was still violent towards me for moving on. I am not risking a damn thing.
I never said stay with him. I said let him see his child in a controlled and safe environment.
Hmm nah. Over my dead body.
Whatever. Ruin the kids life. Go ahead.
As if my baby watching him beat my ass and coming in and out of her life won't do that. Stfu.
🤦🤦🤦 if it's in a controlled environment, he can't beat you. My god. I thought elder people were meant to be intelligent 🤦🤦🤦
You sound naive and like men aren't out here killing women. He don't give a fuck about my child. He cares about control over me. I'm gonna just go out of my way to have him disappoint my baby when he misses supervised visits? Fuck that.
Wow. Because women aren't out killing men? Don't be a sexist pig you uneducated twat. You opened your legs for him, you got pregnant and kept the baby. Grow the fuck up and deal with the consequences. The kid deserves to see both parents. If the kid is still young, they won't even remember the daddy missing unsupervised visits, and after so long, you can say he doesn't show up so no more visits. That way you stand up in court taller too. If it's in a controlled environment he hasn't got any leverage. My god 🤦🤦🤦🤦 like I said, some people don't have the brains they were born with.
I wasn't the abuser or making threats to kill me. Stupid bitch, I got pregnant and then the abuse started. He ain't seeing neither one of us. Fuck your views.
No because this is abuse and letting him in your child’s life will only cause the child harm. Don’t let the father be part of the child’s life no matter what. He shouldn’t be around you either. Get a restraining order?
No. He shouldn't get anywhere near you or the baby. This guy deserves the death penalty.
No but with choices like hers, I’d question whether the mother should be in the baby’s life as well.
Why cause I couldn't get away from my abuser til I moved to a state where I had a lot of family that wouldn't let him just put his hands on me? How is it my fault he kept me hostage in my own house til he finally decided to get a job and I fled the state he was in? He found me. I can't stand a victim blamer.
You’re misunderstanding. You’re viewing my comment as punishing you for your choices. I’m not. I’m more concerned with protecting the baby. Shouldn’t that be your primary concern as well?
That is my primary concern. Which is why I've been trying to get away from him for two years...
Do you have or have you ever gotten a restraining order to legally keep him away? I’d start with that.
No but I was working on a tpo when I was at domestic abuse shelter.
That doesn’t require a lot of work. You just go to the court, fill out a form and generally within two days a TRO/TPO is issued.
No, he shouldn't. He's a violent abuser and no judge should agree to grant him visitation.
No, he has a history of violent behaviour and would therefore be a potential risk to your child.
Neither you nor child is safe with him or have any future with him.
He deserves to be in prison and never get near you or the child ever again.
His reasoning for leaving us is because he said he wanted to kill me and didn't want to risk his freedom.
Which just further shows that he should never see you two again.
No he shouldn't be allowed in the babies life. He sounds pretty unstable type of person you deserve much better.
He shouldn’t be anywhere near you or that kid.
Somebody with some sense.
He should be allowed in said child's life, yes
Why? He says he wants to then later on isn't consistent in setting up visitations. Will say he's coming and never show up.
I believe that fucks with a child's mind more than the loss of his presence. Seeing as I went through the same thing growing up
Not valid enough reason for me. He even threatened to kill me and bury me in basement if I didn't abort. Which is why I fled the state 7 months pregnant..
Is he a Muslim?
No. He's black and non religious but "spiritual" calls himself a Hebrew Israelite.
Yep. He believed in beating me into submission.
He was just trying out new kinks
No... He shouldn't be allowed to live either
thats generally for the court to decide
Yes he should
He didn't have my baby's best interest in mind when he was trying to beat her out of me. Agree to disagree.
Children in your heart is broken
Ask Dr Phil
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