Well my ex-bf broke up with me last july, after 6 years. I know, time has passed for me to heal and forget about him. For the couple of weeks after we broke-up I couldn't stop looking at his e-mail account and FB page. I started doing this again (I did that like a year before and found out some suspicious messages of him and one of his co-workers, he said there were jokes), this time I didn't find anything, well I just think he deleted everything.
Then I started looking at his girl friend co-worker FB and Twitter and just started to link everything to him. I found out that she was writing stuff similar to the way he talks and thinks. And started to put quotes of movies that my boyfriend and I used to see a lot, she hated to read and now she posts that she is reading this and reading that. I think she's just being like a robot or just trying to be like me. And that just made me sad, anxious and I started to cry.
And now that I decided to not snoop around my ex started e-mailing me almost every week. Just to say hi, and what he's being doing, and his new job, and articles about political and social stuff that we used to discussed. But I just ignored everything because our break up was bad, he treated me bad and almost like I didn't exist. He kept sending e-mails and texts, and that triggers me to know if he really wants to get together with me and is not hanging out with that girl. Well I decided to look at her Twitter and there I see more stuff that is like he was talking or I was talking. This girl has no personality of her own. I found post of movies she watched (some of them were of what used to be our movie collections). Oh God I was back to my insomnia, anxiety, heart break... I said to myself, you have to stop doing this period.
2 months passed and I was feeling great, still thinking of him every day, but focusing on my work & Ph.D. But he kept sending me e-mails of stuff he saw that I might like, links of videos that I might like, news articles, places where he thought he was going to see me, telling me that he wanted to know anything from me, that he wanted to pass by to bring me some mail that are still arriving at his house (we used to live together for 4 years). I haven’t answered to anything and keep ignoring him.
But his approached towards me made realized that he's still hanging up on me and there I started again to search if he is really sad and trying to get over me or if he's hanging out with this girl. Well I found out that she hangs out at his house every week and she post pictures of stuff at his house and here I'm back to day one.
This has to stop. I need to heal and just ignore everything; if he really wants to be with me he has to say it or come to my house with a boom box and a Peter Gabriel song ha. But I think is better if he just keep going on with his life and just leave me alone. But why he keeps doing this? If he's with her, why he keeps contacting me? Why I just can't learn to stop looking?
Most Helpful Girl
Okay, if you are working on a PhD, you have got to be a smart gal. So, I am going to give it to you straight up here.
Cut all ties and walk away.
Stop snooping. Go completely No Contact with him. Tell him to stop contacting you and then delete anything coming in from him.
You are obsessing over not only your ex but also his GF. It is very unhealthy for you, and also borders on stalking (since you are accessing his emails without his permission).
What you're seeing on her page and emails and FB is proof that what you thought were special jokes, lines, and sayings between you and he are also things they share. So you feel violated that he's taken something that should be special for just the two of you and is also sharing the very same way with his current GF. The truth is, you'll never know if that was also something he shared with his Girlfriend before you! Yeah, I can see where it hurts you. But do yourself a favor and stop looking. Because the more you look the more you'll see this, and it will only hurt more.
You two broke up. It's behind you. Keep it there and move on, girl!0