I definitely don't understand my ex, can anybody help me?

Ok, so me I dated this guy who is in the Army for about 6 months, we hung out a lot before we started dating so we could get to know each other and I think we did a pretty good job. We were with each other everyday and talked everyday. He is a very sweet person and is good to talk to if YOU have problems, BUT, he would never talk to me about his problems. He got back from Iraq in October 2009, and it messed him up pretty bad. He has nightmares and all sorts of other stuff that I won't go into. He doesn't have an anger problem though, at least he didn't show me that he did. The whole time me and him were "dating", we rarely hung out, he barely text me, never called me, and then he broke up with me. Now that we are broken up, he always wants to hang out with me, always texts me, and calls me about 2 times a day. And I'm probably making a stupid move by still having sex with him, but its hard to tell him no. He's even more sweeter now than he was when we were together. I just don't get it. What he said to me when he broke up with me was ... " its not that I don't like u, I do like u, as afriend. your hella cool and chill but I could nevr love you and I just felt like I needed to cut it off before I hurt you even more then I had. I'm just tryin to be honest with you and mature. I still wanna hang out with you and be cool and not hate each other." ... W T F? Your never going to love me? then why did you lead me on for about 9 months makin me think that it was gunna be a long term kinna thing? I mean I just don't know what to do. And the bad thing is, we work together! And his friend works with us, which is weird because his friends older sister is my ex's ex (whew)! And he was telling me tonight how my ex tried to get his friends ex to bring one of her friends and herself to his house one night (while we were together) so that they could have a 3some! Seriousy... come on now! I was pissed when he told me that mess! And my ex is always getting amd about my guy friends comin to see me at work, even tho we are broken up. He will stand outside and smoke until my friend leaves, like he thinks he can control who I talk to now that we are broken up, but yet while we were together you were trynna get your friends ex and her friend to come have a 3some? Dude ... f*** u! That's how I feel! I just wanna cry! I did everything right! I did nothing wrong! I did what he wanted, gave him what he wanted (everyday might I add,except for that one week of the month), when he wanted it. It just doesn't make sense to me... he acts like he wants to be with me, but yet he doesn't wanna be? ugh! I don't know if he's just doing it so we can still keep havin sex, because we do connect on a sexual level that I haven't had with anybody else. Its just frustrating! You guys let me know what you think ... guys and girls :) sorry I rambled, just needed to get it out lol. Have a good nite


Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl, I think you just need to get away from this situation completely. Stop having sex with him. Stop talking to him unless you HAVE to at work for your work but that's it. He has some serious problems emotionally and mentally because of the crazy s**t he saw when he was in Iraq and he really needs help to work those out. Thank God for his service to our country and he deserves any help he can get and you guys having sex is just screwing with both of your heads even more.

    It's like a drug sweetie...what you guys have is addicting to you both, but the side effects are all the drama and the hurt...stop cold turkey...you'll do a favor for both of yourselves. Good luck hun!

    • EXACTLY! And after we broke up I was trying to help him with stuff and get through stuff, and he was supposed to be going to talk to someone but cancelled the appointment. And it has definitely stopped, as of monday. I told him I couldn't keep doing it, because I was hurtin myself :(

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What Guys Said 2

  • well maybe he had experiences that no war movie could reinact, maybe he had a best friend die in his arms...

    anyways back to the question...

    first off, SEX IS SEX! GEtting sum is better than getting none...

    dont be a jerk to him...please because I had a friend killed over in iraq and I was extremely "emo" so to speak it sucked

    second: why would he ever f*** you if you never loved you...he would be f***ing a pillow...

    maybe iraq gave him thoughts of you cheating on him...i mean it does get lonely...jus saying

    i do agree with you that that is PRETTY F***ED UP

    and he shouldn't play with emotions like that

    3 talk it out uncover the reason! why he stopped liking you

    • Oh he def saw some sh*t. He was "dating" a girl for a year before he went and she broke up with him on his birthday while he was there and 2 days later one of his friends shot himself in the head in the porter potty right beside him so it kinna messed him up more than a little. I just wish he would get help, that's why they have therapist that military guys can talk to to help them get through this crap, but he's too damn stubborn to do it.

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    • if that works message me back kk?

    • K :)

  • Break ups are when you met someone else you want to have sex with. If he's turned you into a friends with benefits and he's free to see other girls great for him


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