my ex and i continually hook up after we broke up but it makes me feel like shit. i’m the guy. it’s like, i want to have sex, 9 times out of 10 i’ll initiate it, but then even when we’re in the motion of it all everything feels artificial. all of it faked. even worse part was it was a mutual agreement to be friends with benefits yet i’m the one always asking, giving so much effort, and barely sometimes get any because she’s never in the mood. mind you, she loves having sex. ughh i want us to so badly get together but it seems the spark we shared is put out. but here's the funny part, she’ll still make cute gestures. she’ll compliment me, stare into my eyes, hug me for long periods, cuddle, and the biggest she’d tell me is ‘i love you’ and out of pure instinct i’d say it back and mean it. is this her way of keeping me bonded to her? or is there a part of her that’s still bonded to me?