Okay...where to start. I have a few older posts explaining my situation, so if you need to know something you can probably find them in there, or ask..doesn't matter. Anyway, this is the girl of my dreams, and after being broken up for months, I had to let her know how I feel. I didn't want to play games...I spilled my heart out to her, I didn't want to lose her for good by not contacting her. She knows what I am going through and doesn't want to hurt me. But I got to chat with her today...her phone was broke so it was the only way I could talk to her.
I told her to be honest and if you are undecided, or really not talking to me because you don't want to hurt me. During our relationship, her ex that she hasn't spoken to in 10 years called her. He lives out of state in her hometown. She said they broke it off on good terms, but they were talking about marrying when they were together. She wasn't sure if she still had feelings for him, but she started being distant with me, and eventually broke it off and called him. So in the few months we been apart, she's been talking to him, and she said he recently came to stay with her. She told me she is seeing where it goes from there and that maybe one day things might be different and that there is still a chance we might be able to get back together. When we broke up, we never fought or anything and she broke it off on good terms and she says there is nothing wrong with me.
My question is, even after spilling my heart out to her telling her how I know she is the love of my life (and she is)...but I did accept and told her I understand and I hope he loves her as much as I do and that she will be happy with him-- Does anyone think there is still a chance? If there is, what are some of the best things I can do not to screw up my chances of getting her back. No contact?, just friends...she does want to be friends, but I don't know how hard it will be...and would she ever think of me in a romantic way again if we did chat now and then. Or should I just give her time to miss me, and maybe she will realize she really does have feelings for me.
Or did I screw up my chances of her ever wanting me again?...I am not crazy, just in love with the love of my life, and it's tearing me apart inside out. Any advice will be much appreciated. What did I do wrong,what did right, and what should I do from here? I already heard move on, and I know that ( but I still want her, she truly is the one, and it's too hard to not do everything I can to get her back someday), but some serious helpful information would be much appreciated.
I don't want to steal her from the guy she is with now, but rather see if she has true feelings for me...why on earth would I feel like that about another women, If there was no connection, so there has to be a chance that it was meant to be. Thanks in advance!
Most Helpful Guy
You messed up by chasing her, screwed up by telling her your feelings, and threw away your chances by letting her have her cake and eat it too. She KNOWS how you feel about her, and by knowing she can do anything and you will always be there she will do anything she wants. You have given her all the power, and the worse thing is that you have been put in limbo and allowed yourself to be put there. You have helped her to shore and she is letting you drown. She dumped you and gave you the whole "it's not you it's me" speech and you fell for it. Let me guess, you treated her good and everything is going well. Then months later she dumps you and it's "unexpected". Typical game that women play. She's talking about she wants to MARRY another guy and you are still in the picture still trying to be with her? Spilling your heart out doesn't work, it makes you look desperate and clingy. You haven't moved on, which tells her that you still cling to her. If she was really the love of your life, she would still be with you and would NEVER talk about getting married to someone else. She just gave you a front row seat to watch her be with another guy and you are willingly sitting giving your manhood and self respect away by giving her your blessing. If she sent you a video of her having sex with this other guy, would you still love her and want her then? She has already given you that picture, and by you accepting it she is secretly laughing her ass off, enjoying the fact that she is getting what she wants. You put all your cards on the table, and now the surprise and the suspense is gone. You are no longer a challenge. You were way too nice, and she used it to her advantage. That should give you a hint on how to treat a women for her to stay with you, women don't like nice guys... NEVER talk to this girl again, cut off all communication, don't be "friends" with her because it won't work, move on and start dating other girls asap. You say you don't want to lose her, but you already have lost her. The only chance you have is if she comes after you in a romantic way. Being "friends" is not an option. The "friendship" ended when feelings got involved. Don't be an emotional tampon to her. You must work on yourself now. Stop putting "love" over common sense and logic.0