So my LDR boyfriend and I were in a relationship for almost two months 😔 so my boyfriend didn’t find out he has cancer until a week ago. He then texted me in the middle of the night “I have cancer...” and I was so upset and I messaged with hope “please tell me you are kidding” and he told me he wasn’t. Then I told him “you can get treatment you can fight this baby” and he said “my family can’t afford treatment and we have no insurance to cover it either because we can’t afford that either” and so I started to get really upset and he said “I can’t be with you anymore it would be too painful for the both of us” and I told him to please not leave since he’s the sweetest and most kind guy I’ve ever met and he was serious about being with me as in not wanting to cheat on me since he always said he loves everything about me (we are both 21) and he said “baby this is goodbye” and I told him no and then he just blocked me from all communication. My friend viewed from his social media bio and told me that he married himself which I just feel so awful for him because he’s had a horrible past and I’ve always told him “well as they say, every individual has their day :)” but he never got that unless when he always told me that being with me “is a blessing”. It just doesn’t seem fair that he’s going to pass away and never had a good full life. I just hate that he pushed me away even if it seemed like it was for the best, I would’ve rather spend every second He has with me left. But now I don’t even know how long he has left or how he is doing or even what type of cancer he has. All I know is that I know he must’ve had it for a while, last month he had nausea at least three times in a month and vomited then. Then 2 and 4 weeks ago he complained about his heart hurting. I’ve still been crying ever since he broke up with me and cut off communication.
I just want to get over the pain of the break up and not being able to talk anymore and the pain of the unknown of How much longer he has to live and how he is doing, what do I do to get rid of all this pain?