Why does my partner act this way please help?

My partners has a child to his ex wife, she has caused a lot of trouble sent abusive texts to us, then when she met someone else told everyone that his child was scared of him and stopped the child seeing his dad, I fought tooth and nail to get his child back encouraged him to spend more time with him, after all this he said he hated her and she is a nasty peace of work, I said well the best thing to do is ignore her when she starts and only talk to her if it involves the child then she can't get in our life, he agreed that was best, yet ever time I mention her name he gets defensive and edgy then I found out he had been chatting with her in the bank that had nothing to do with their child and then I heard him on the phone been really nice to her, I asked him why he was been so nice to her again and that she will bring trouble, he just blew up and said I'm not, then said I just don't want him to see his child which is so not true and I think he only said this so he didn't have to face the real issue, I have a child of my own and no how important it is. He then started bringing my ex into it when he doesn't even no him and he has never caused trouble for us, when I pointed this out to him he slapped me across the face, I no this is wrong but what I really want advice on is did he act like this because I hit a nerve and he still has feelings for his ex that he hasn't dealt with (she cheated on him and left him for someone else)

I'm not jealous I just don't no how anyone would want anything to do with a person who had done all this to them unless it had something to do with there child together.

Please sensible answers and thanks.


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  • Wow! Sounds like you have a lot going on :/. Situations with exes can be complicated and throwing a child into the mix makes things VERY complicated. Honestly, since he has a child with her...they will probably always have a connection with each other, their kid will give them a reason to always and forever be in communication with each other (unless he decides he wants nothing to do with the kid which would not be good). Seeing that she cheated on him and left him for someone else...I bet that hurt him a lot and he still has some feelings for her because she is the mother of his child! I know what you mean about not being able to know how anyone would want anything to do with someone who has done all this to them but sometimes it's hard to let go of others. I think sometimes it may be hard for him to spend time with his son because it makes him have to deal with the mom and I'm sure he has some resentment towards her after all that has happened. I think it's important that he is nice to her but that your right, if he wants to be in a serious relationship with you then they really should only be talking if it has to do with their child. I've had a similar situation and I would wonder why this guy would claim to hate his ex so much but then be nice to her and talk to her when it wasn't even about their kid. He actually ended up sleeping with her multiple times after they broke up and I didn't understand that either because He said how much he hated her and would often even ignore her completely. I don't know how things with you and the father of your child are but that may help you to see how things are with him and his ex?

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