Ex is getting married - do you have a right to be jealous?

i was with this great guy for a year, but broke things off because even though he was the perfect boyfriend, my career came first (maybe it was the wrong decision, who knows). but then one of my best friends started dating him, which definitely wasn't okay with me. I told her so, and she agreed that she would hate if any of her friends did the same thing to her and dated her ex, yet she was a hypocrite and stayed with him behind my back. so finally I ended the friendship with her, and thought that they wouldn't last anyway.

well I was wrong, I found out they got engaged a month ago. now I feel hurt and jealous, and yeah maybe that sounds immature for not being happy for them, because I'm the one that broke things off, but how would you guys react in this situation? do I have a right to be upset, or do I just look silly?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you have every right not be happy for them. Yes you ended things with your ex, but the fact that one of your best friends started dating him even after you told her you weren't okay with it is pretty messed up. If she was really your friend she wouldn't let a guy come between your friendship. If I was in this situation I'd feel hurt, jealous, and betrayed. Even though you broke things off with him you did it because your career came first. I think that's a pretty commendable decision. I don't think you're being silly at all. this is just a really unfortunate situation. guess it just goes to show that he's not the one you're meant to be with. I know it's hard to accept but there's someone else out there for you and as difficult as it may be it's time for you to start moving on with your life because there's nothing you can do about it now. best of luck to you

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Your friend is a bitch, But I wouldn't stop love. Focusing on our career will increase your social status and that will attract more attractive men. I great thing you can do is not look back.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I would be totally upset and jealous, that's very normal. But you ended it for a reason and if you were that into him you wouldn't have put your career first. So just know you will find someone more suitable and wish them well. Same thing happened to me and they married and had a baby. That was 4 years ago and I am well and truly over it :)

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  • You have the right to be silly and a beyotch, yes. Why? YOU broke things off with him. You had ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to ask your friend to not date him or to let him go. You're the idiot, not her. You were no friend of hers, that's for sure.

    She didn't betray you. She saw that he was a good man and she got him. I say it again, you're the idiot. Maybe you now know that but rather than blaming yourself, you want to blame and be angry at her. No no, honey, the ONLY one you can be mad at is yourself for being stupid.

    Once you let a man go it's a free for all. There should have been no conditions. And don't give me sh about "girl code." Half the time girls only use that to bash men anyway, so I say to hell with it. I dont' bash men. I don't stick with girls who do the wrong thing. I'm told I'm a gay man anyway because I tend to think more masculine though I'm a girl.

    The point is, you're being silly. Be happy for them or not, doesn't matter. But you have no right to be angry, upset, let alone jealous.

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    • I agree with this lady. It's "man code" also to not date a friend's ex but to be honest, if he was stupid and let a good girl go, I would try to pick her up and treat her better than he did.

      Granted I'm happily married so I never see that happening, just saying =)

  • Yuck...that sucks that it was your friend that he's marrying. And yes, it's only natural that you're going to feel hurt and jealous...you're only human hun.

    But also, yes, realize that you chose your career over him, and THAT'S OKAY. He found happiness with someone else, and you should let that be and move on. And good you found that your friend was going to be like that now...because it easily could have been that you and this guy got married and then she would have tried to have an affair with him. Because I can guarantee you she already had eyes for him before you guys even broke up or she wouldn't have shacked up with him so fast!

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  • You have every right to be upset... at her anyway. And with yourself, naturally...

    You didn't break up with him because you werent into him and your friend went and took advantage, agreed that you shoud be upset about it - then continued to engage in the upsetting behaviour.

    You don't get to be mad at him though - You broke it off with him so he didn't really owe you anything. Unfortunately this includes the courtosey of not dating your friends.

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  • Its definately understandable, but there are no rules for these kinds of things. If your upset your upset, the best thing to do is try to move on, focus on your career and get the image of them out of your mind.

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  • It's natural to be a little hurt, but you need to get over it because he belongs to someone else, & you don't want to desire another woman's husband...

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  • you shouldn't be jealous, because you guys both moved on, and it was the past, you should be happy for your ex if you really cared about him that he found someone else and he is finally happy. it obvoiusly means you guys are not meant to be, that someone who is better than him is out there waiting for your deserving heart.

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