It is believed in America that marriages are not as serious as they should be, what do you think?

Could it be that guys/girls only want to have children and not marriage
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Most Helpful Guys

  • The fact is it is true because I did some search and found out that nearly 53% of marriages in America end up in divorce which is almost half of them so what's the reason for this I guess it's because people usually go into the boat of marriage at an early age like 19-20 years old marrying each other which is nothing wrong but what they don't understand that marriage is a big responsibility and it needs a lot of effort so that it can work out for which they are not ready at that age which leads to sudden arguments and quarrels between the partners and finally leading to divorce so rather than hurrying up take your time and only get married when you are at a stable position in your life because love alone can't fill up your stomach Food is equally or most important so be realistic rather than lovelistic.

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  • I don't think people take marriage as seriously as they used to. But by "used to" I mean like several decades ago. I don't know if there has been much change in the last 20-30 years or not. Although I do know that the divorce rate is starting to drop a little.

    People are also getting married at an older age, so I think it's too soon to determine how many people of a given age group will get married until they are fairly old.

    Yea, I think it's more common now for people to have children without getting married. Part of that is because it's just more acceptable now.

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    • Yes I think marital life was very interesting back then. Everything started falling apart years after 70s. The use of media has brought about so many changes in people's sense of belonging and judgement. I think the use of social media needs to be reviewed

    • I'm older than my profile says and I was dating and had married friends in the 70s. I saw the change. I think a BIG thing is social acceptance and the law. There is a strong correlation between "no-fault" divorce laws and the divorce rate. Before no-fault laws, a court would turn down a divorce unless it met narrow criteria.

      More than that, is general acceptance of living together. For example up through the 60s and into the 70s, it could be hard for an unmarried couple to rent an apartment. The landlord just wouldn't allow it. Unmarried couples living together would be majorly looked down on.

      When I grew up, there was almost no such thing as divorce. I didn't know anyone who had divorced parents. I still know some of those couples, and they are quite happy after 60-70 years of marriage.

      But you can also ask the legitimate question of why should someone who is truly unhappy, or even miserable, be forced to stay in that marriage because of the law or social pressure.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think some people no longer feel the need to get approval of church or state. Most people can't afford a big wedding so don't bother at all.
    There are plenty of people who save for the better part of a decade for a big wedding and still put themselves in debt only to realise they were more intrested in getting married to each other rather than being married and end up getting divorced. The divorce rate is 50% and in this country men can be treated very badly in divorce so a lot of guys are unwilling to get married.
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  • I love the idea of marriage and the concept of making a life-long commitment to someone and having a life-long companion. If you haven't noticed in this comment section, most of the people who don't value marriage and don't see the benefit are young people... who aren't ready to make that sort of commitment and wouldn't see the value a marriage would have in their lives. The older people in this comment section actually seem to have the ability to appreciate the value a marriage has if you are willing make it work. There is nothing more beautiful than a marriage that lasts and my life may have turned out differently if I was raised by a single parent, or lived out of different homes. Children live by example, so never experiencing or seeing what a lasting marriage looks like and the effect it has on a family.. would be a foreign concept to them. There are much more children growing up in divorced and seperated familes, so it would make sense why this generation would not see its value. Marriage is not easy, but if you make it work, it is a beautiful thing indeed.

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What Guys Said 62

  • Well, as a man who has lived with his girlfriend for ten years and with whom I have three children, I suppose that I am Exhibit A for making your case. We don't want to be married - although we respect those who do for religious or other reasons and by no means do we disparage it. We simply don't believe that it gives more meaning to our relationship.

    That all said, having children is not the primary reason for marriage's decline as a societal institution. The reasons for that decline have complex sociological explanations.

    People are getting married later. Co-habitation has become socially acceptable and the law and the courts have followed suit by making many of the legal protections of marriage available to cohabiting couples.

    In terms of the law the watershed moment was the advent in the early 1970s of "no-fault" divorce. Prior to that, serious legal and financial penalties accrued to individuals if they were deemed to have been the cause of a divorce - for adultery for example - and a marriage license was deemed a legally binding contract. With "no fault" divorce, marriage became the one legal contract that government would NOT enforce.

    We shape the law and the law then shapes us, and as the marriage license became just an expensive piece of paper - although it still affords some important benefits, particularly in tax law and for SS - people came not to value it.

    Further, at the risk of inflaming some highly inflammable people, gay marriage may have worsened this decline. Understandably the gay community wanted it both in its own right and as a signal of legal equality. It's broad and generally quick acceptance in light of the Supreme Court ruling suggests that the gay community got that.

    However, by making marriage a political badge of honor and, as a cultural matter, by making it seem less like a covenant and more like a political transaction, gay marriage unintentionally further trivialized marriage at a societal level. By making marriage more common without solemnizing it, gay marriage may have made marriage overall a cultural shrug of the shoulders.

    Throw in the relative decline of religious belief in an increasingly secularized culture - it is interesting that the marriages that tend to endure, statistically, are those where the couple has deep religious convictions - and for these and other reasons you have a recipe for the decline of marriage. In this children have been, in many ways, more victims of the change than the cause of it.

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  • My two experiences with marriage opened my eyes to the reality of getting married. And I will never do that again. Here is why:

    Marriage is very easy to enter. All it takes is a small fee for a marriage license and in some locations an examination by a licensed medical professional. Then someone licensed to perform the marriage. Within a day or so you are now married.

    Do you see a pattern here yet? Keep reading.

    If the marriage ends in divorce...

    It takes lawyers, a courthouse, a judge, a lot of money and time to end it! And be prepared for your credit rating to get trashed for at least seven years. If you own your home or buying one that is about to change. And around half of the things you have will either become your ex partners or you are forced to sell it.

    Marriage has nothing to do with love. It is a legal, binding contract between two people and the government.

    The marriage happens by hiring those licensed by the government. To get a license you need to pay a fee to the government.

    The marriage ends by hiring those licensed by the government. Some work for the government. And all charge money. Some charge a lot of money. And to think that marriage can happen for less than $100. Good luck getting out of one for ten times and probably hundreds of times more money.

    Getting married has nothing to do with love. It is about paying licensed people to get you married and to end the marriage.

    Marriage is about putting a lot of money in someone elses pocket.

    You can live your life together as a couple in love without the marriage license and expense.

    If the relationship ends simply take what is yours and move on. Save your credit rating. Keep your stuff. It does not have to devastate your life for years just because you decided to end a marriage.

    So please tell me one benefit that getting married brings...

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  • marriage was instituted in the Garden of Eden by God so I'm thinking there must be a reason for it so I'm just going to fly with that one every look look at this every country which is abandoned marriage has disintegrated into the Earth yeah take that one and put it in your pipe and smoke it

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  • Back in the days of yore, a man was able to provide for the family financially and emotionally; the man was also able to provide for his wife sexually. ;)
    On top of that, men were viewed as superior, and the women were more of the understanding type whenever it came to a guy's problems, and they were truly in love with each other because they were able to fix their problems instead of running away.
    Speaking of which, let's fast-forward to today. Women are portrayed as the bitch, as the ones who can claim they have or are being neglected by their partners, even though many times, the guy is doing all he can? I'm not dissing girls, as I am also going to say that sometimes guys don't listen to their wives enough or care enough to help out around the house, let alone be a provider.
    The guy's excuse? "I've been at work all day!" And I understand that, though some guys have the easiest jobs of all (sportswriter, to name one off the bat) and just feel drained because they're more or less emasculated, either caused by the wife or bad parenting (i. e. not giving those once-boys proper nutrients to grow into a healthy man with big balls [both literally and figuatively] who is able to work through the simplest of jobs and taking care of a family).
    I am also saying that some wives can be controlling and not let their hubby make any of the decisions in the marriage. It may be so because the guy makes stupid decisions in the marriage, or the wife thinks he makes stupid decisions.
    Whoa I'm getting way off track.
    Some women have had so much of what their guy must have done wrong or even did do wrong that they don't wanna work on the marriage anymore and thus results in a bitter divorce.
    However, many women can be more than lenient with their hubs and will calmly ask their hubby to do something once, and selfish hubby will keep putting it off until she's had enough of telling him, whether it be once or a thousand times. And they don't let those little flaws about their partner bother them. No, it can also be big things like cheating, lying, etc. And even then, the wife may give him one more chance, and if he were to mess up again, that would be the final straw.

    But marriage sucks nowadays, and we can't change that, as many of the things happening in the world will continue to get worse. But some of us don't have to be those statistics. We can change for the better. It's not too late.
    SPREAD THE WORD BOIS

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  • Marriage is being regulated out of existence by the government and divorce industry.

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    • I think we should be blamed for our actions. Government came in as a result of our inconsistencies in marriage

    • Think and blame all you want, marriage is going extinct.

  • "Could it be that guys/girls only want to have children and not marriage"

    Well, yes. And time and time again, children with both mother and father parents together and involved in their lives fare better than those without.

    That is why two people who just shack up together without children is not a problem. But if you ARE going to have children with someone, statistically it is much better if you "put a wedding band on it" (or her/him, as the case may be).

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  • The good for guys has been taken out of marriage while the bad has either stayed the same or increased.
    With such imbalance, and increasing risks of divorce leaving guys in ruin, the days of marriage are numbered except for gated religious communities.

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  • I think it's a little more than that... Religion is not as strictly adhered to as it was before, attitudes towards sex and children is very different, a lot more inter-religious couples, and more and more people struggle to afford it. A great deal has changed and I think it's all contributing towards a change in opinion on the importance of marriage.

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  • They are taken seriously but your free will to be happy is also taken seriously...
    Marriages are important but being with the best person for you is also important...
    People have different forms of happiness... so it something fits for everyone.

    If you want marriage solid, you can get it and if you want something else you can find that too

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  • People are wanting to be more independent.
    I have a friend who wants to be engaged, but she doesn't want to marry. That way she won't feel weird having kids with the guy, but if something happens she won't have to deal with a whole bunch of divorce stuff

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  • Marriage is serious thing anywhere , I mean it has all the things like trust , responsibility and then comes the kid.

    Well, I agree it's difficult to maintain for a long time though.

    What you think?

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  • For many people, they think marriage is just a piece of paper. They don't understand the deeper meaning to marriage, and the deeper connection that comes with being married, if you appreciate what marriage actually is.

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    • Sure... It is here in America you will see people get married today and tomorrow they are separated... Seems to me also people do that for formality

    • Marriage is suppose to be a serious matter. Often times, people don't know each other that well, and get married because they are "in love." What they really are, is in infatuation. Marriage should be when they are in love, not when infatuated.

  • Here's what I think: I think a lot of people get married with no greater level of seriousness and commitment than a couple of middle schoolers have when they say they're going steady. As soon as life gets hard, or isn't "fun" anymore, they bail.

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  • Marriage in the USA is very bad for men. It is a way for women and the government to abuse and rip off men.
    I would rather have a life long exclusive relationship and raise a family together without legal marriage.
    The only reason I can see anymore that a woman would want marriage here is so if it doesn't work out, she can steal the stuff the man has worked for for years. There is no benefit to the man at all for being married.

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  • Monogamy works for a limited time only. Sex passion romance, some of the strongest human emotions, and to depend on one person for a lifetime for that is tough. I like commitment but I might prefer a marriage with an expiration date, at which point we. could renew vows, but why assume u will be madly in love 5 years later, when most often relationships don't last that long, and if they do, are they truly happy? It's rare

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  • Certain ones, yes (even though they ALL should be). Yes, it could be that guys/girls only want to have children and not marriage. Granted, I'm not sure why. If they have children, it's best to keep the parents of the children together. That means that the parents should be One (married).

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  • Women have admittedly already decleared to be indecisive.
    Put marriage decisions in their hands and one moment "marriage is on, i love my wedding dress 😍, my hormones are stable.. lol next minute, you forgot to invite so so. Okay i can't do this, it's best to put on hold, my hormones feel like fizzy drink in a bottle, i think I just come on period"😂😂😂

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    • Wow, is that really what you think about women? Kinda makes you look like crap honestly. Way to generalize.

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    • It literally doesn't. You shouldn't generalize based on your own microscopic experience and any intelligent person knows that. Maybe you should surround yourself with better people instead of putting down an entire gender because not only do you look like crap, you now sound ignorant.

    • Haha how was that generalising lol i wrote my opinion of who i've known. Why would it apply to you or to the whole gender. Dont be too sensitive darling. All we are is strangers posting opinions and hence opinions aren't facts, you shouldn't be defensive cos everyone is entitled to theirs. Same way you're entitled to think and assume that i look like crap and ignorant etc but doesn't mean there is any validity to your opinion as for all you know i could be the opposite lol

  • There could be multiple reasons for that
    1. Cheating
    2. Not putting enough effort in their relationship, not working hard or not wanting to work hard in their relationship
    etc.

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  • I don't understand the question... what is in America? The lack itself of required seriousness in a relationship? Or the belief that there is a lacking?

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  • People don't take it seriously because legally speaking, there's almost no reason to at this point, no thanks to no-fault divorces, prenuptial agreements, and "irreconcilable differences". The emotional aspects of love and marriage have been given way too much influence.

    And given how much our society has rejected and degraded children and parenthood because of abortion and the widespread use of contraception, I can't say I agree with your assessment. And even those who do have children only have one or two.

    Do you want to know what I think? I think that our culture today needs to give up its arbitrary rebellion, on this idea that the ideals and values of previous generations should be dismissed without question. This whole idea of "it's the 21st century, get with the program" has been a failed experiment.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I don’t think the institution of marriage would still exist here if people didn’t take it seriously; but, I do think moral values as a whole have shifted from what they used to be, so getting married isn’t as important as it once was. People want to be more independent, and making a lifelong commitment to someone goes in the wrong direction.

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  • They're not. I think a lot of people dream of the wedding and buying a new house, but marriage is hard. You commit yourself to one person the rest of your life through all the ups and downs and you have to really be there. People don't consider job loss or financial problems or severe illness or maybe having a kid with a disability. They think marriage is roses and lollipops and it's not.

    I think most married Americans live in fantasy land which is why so many of our dumbasses get a divorce.

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    • Amen! People don't consider they could be the couple with a job loss, or one of them gets a illness, or child suffers from autism. Then when they have to face some adversity like that they get flaky. No more "for better or worse". Real relationships are going to have issues and conflict, if they don't I know something is up.

  • Obviously it’s moved on from the traditional roles of a husband and wife people are more flexible now in what they’re expected to do and how they’re expected to act and that’s a great thing

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  • I'm not American but I got marriage proposal by an American... It's true I guess divorce rate is so high there

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  • It's true. Dating is becoming easier and marrying is becoming harder because people don't wanna go the hard way of commitment and effort.

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    • because they don't wanna go through divorce since one of every two couples end up getting divorced in the first 2-3 years of marriage

  • Not sure I fully understand your question but I also don't think it's just an American thing. Divorce rates are high over much of the world.

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  • Now a days, both sexes don't want marriage or children.

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  • I still want to get married and then have children like the traditional way , except I'm pregnant already

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  • Maybe American couples tend to give up more easily

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  • Who believes that?

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  • How serious should marriages be?

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  • It is? What is your question, then?

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  • Where are the statistics and evidence about this belief? LOL Jkd.

    I think couples get married without the thought the eventually they might regret it (especially men). Their nature is to stay the least 4 years, procreate and leave. But women and society want to force their nature to be different. And then the word DIVORCE appears!

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