Boyfriend chose time with friends over our Skype date. What to do?

We had this Skype date planned for over 2 weeks now... My boyfriend is doing his PhD and was very stressed to confirm a nightout with his friends before... But now he is doing better workwise and so one day before our date night... he mentioned that his friends are going for a ball and he has asked them to check if there is a pass available (on our date night). Am gonna be honest, I was really pissed, that was my initial reaction. But now he mentioned that since he is finishing this year, this might be his last proper ball with his friends. I just dont know if my angry is justified because I still feel hurt and at the same time I understand what he must be going through... Fyi- 1) he was the one who had earlier said he regrets not doing date nights and hence we decided on this. 2) he wants to do a quick 'date night' before he leaves for the evening. Which am not OK with... Feels like he doesn't value this enough.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • So he is not allowed to have fun with his friends one last time?

    There is more to a relationship than your feelings. I doubt you two will last very long.

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    • Wow that was rude

    • Hi, alpha male, lol... he totally can and does have fun with his friends. But if something is planned weeks in advance. I would expect some committed from the other person... Especially because we are in a long distance and dont get to spend quality time together otherwise. Do you understand? I think the context here is more important. Not the fact that if he should enjoy his time with his friends or Skype with me.

  • Eesh, cut some slack, if it is a one time thing so he can enjoy one 'last' moment with his mates let him. I'm sure Ur relationship can last one missed Skype date. He also tried a compromise which is much more than most guys give their ladies.

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    • Honestly, if a guy can't honor his own commitments. What's the point? We are in a long distance, if he won't put in the efforts, it is anyway extremely difficult to work. This date was planned weeks in advance. I think you should keep that in mind... It's not that he doesn't go out with his friends... And they dont meet or he is spending every weekend skyping with me. Prioritizing once in a while is good. And keep the situational context in mind.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It sucks but long distance often does. Best not to do long distance then. What he says makes sense and you banging on about not being happy about it will mean he values his friends more and more and this less and less. He needs fun things now not commitments, seriousnessness, judgments, fault finding etc.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • I see it and honestly a ball beats a skye date any day. We need that real human connection over our loved one sometimes especially when stressed.
    Though you are also right to be pissed, maybe next time suggest he takes you with him. Be his girl on his phone :)

    Honestly your right he does not cause it is not the same as being with you. If you were there he would so choose you girl. But a virtual date is not the same nor does it carry the same weight. Its not you it is the long distance.

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  • Yeah, don't be mad at him for this. He has more opportunities to talk to you. Don't think a relationship is where you two stick to each other like glue. You'll get sick of that anyways, trust me. A relationship is where you two are able to part ways but always end up together. There is a certain feeling of freedom you don't get when you push him to your agenda.
    Let the bird leave its cage for a bit, it'll come back.

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  • I believe you should have a long conversation with him. Let him open up his perspective with you. Perhaps you can understand what he's going through. Assume you know nothing and don't go in with assumptions, listen hard. You will probably find the answer.

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  • a day out beats a Skype date anytime. Or do you want a guy with no life that sits around waiting for your attention and nothing in his own life? Try giving him some value of being a man.

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  • Im sorry but real life stuff is going to be more important most of the time. That's how long distance relationships work.

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  • Talk to him about what you think and feel, but you should also listen to his perspective.

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  • Cuz Skype date are lame might as well not even call it a date have fun being single

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  • His friends existed before you. He did well.

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    • Well, the date was decided before that outing (he decided). Least I expect is someone honoring their promise/word/commitment. Not change because of the situation. Are you seriously telling me all this doesn't matter?

    • Yes because it's just a silly Skype date.

    • If it's that silly then he shouldn't have suggested it! Simple. Promise what you can manage... Am not asking for a prince charming anyway.

  • It's a freaking Skype date...

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  • So what do you wanna do?

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  • Sounds like he is taking you for granted, talk to him about it and that if he keeps cancelling you'll no longer plan them.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Just express to him that you didn’t feel it was fair to just ditch your plans. He might not realize it was that important to you. Like you said he isn’t going to be spending time with them after this year yet he potentially has the rest of his life with you. Hold in there ❤️

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  • Break up with him and find a guy who wants Real quality time with you. It seems to me that he is trying to compromise with you and Skype before he goes out with his friends but, if you really feel like he's too quick to do this thing and you see a pattern and feel that he doesn't value your time together, just bail.

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  • Nope not good, if someone makes plans you first then automatically ditches them for someone or something else, that's hella disrespectful and not a good sign. You made this in date plan in 2 weeks, which means he could have hung out with buddies at any time but he choose to ditch your plans for them. You don't do that, especially with your girlfriend. To me I see that as him started to care less and it will get worse because of the distance. This is why I don't think long distance relationships work and I think you would be better off finding a guy who is in your area.

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  • Ghost his ass for 1 week then say you were with friends

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    • how's that passive aggressive shit workin out for you lol the only time that shit is useful is when you 100% have to be polite like if it's your job or something, otherwise try to be real

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    • I don't take orders from 'insert pejorative here'

    • Right... its too early to pick fights... let me leave you dealing with your borderline personality disorder on your own... bye weirdo LOL

  • Pre dick a ment

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  • Play his game sweethart, play his game

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  • Dump him on the garbage in front of ur house

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