Me and boyfriend are having space.. Brother got involved. Now what?


I'm livid...
Me and the boyfriend were taking space because we were arguing a lot. It was a mutual decision and we said we'll talk about it in about a week when we're thinking a bit clearer.
I have given him space.. no calls, texts, nothing.
And was going to send a letter to him in a few days (would receive it after the week) that explained a few things but also that I know I could walk away knowing I did all I can if I decided to not work on our relationship. Brilliant on my end I thought...

I confided in my older brother. He has only spoken on the phone to my boyfriend and never met him as he lives in another country. Perfect person to confide in I thought...
My brother called him and had a man to man chat, the contents I don't know. My brother told him about the letter and how sweet it was etc.. and my boyfriend told my brother he wants us to work and loves me... I know he was just trying to help but I am mortified.

So now I've had to send the letter as it looks like I'm full of s/%# if I don't and my pride level is at 0.

Has my brother messed this up for me.. it happened yesterday?
Updates:
Correction* = that I could walk away knowing knowing I did all I could if HE didn't want to work on the relationship.
He has a doctor's appointment today about something he's embarrassed about. (Down there). Do I ask him if he's okay? If he wants me to come with him or leave it?

0|0
411

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your brother may have made the right call. It seems that kind of man to man, with an older brother confirming your feeling to another person would be powerful in a positive way. But, whether or not your brother should have done so is entirely subjective.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Then how come he still hasn't called me.. is he waiting for the letter to see what it says?

    • Likely. Especially if your brother emphasized the beauty of the letter. Give him ample time to receive it, but after that, do not be afraid to initiate the conversation. You are an equal in a relationship, and even if you are having some space, you have the right to speak about what is meaningful to you, especially if it concerns the relationship.

    • when you guys agreed space, did you set a duration? if you did, he is simply respecting your wish to have some space. I would guess you can end the "space" time at any time, he doesn't feel HE can though without coming across as pushy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why are you mortified? You want it to work and he wants it to work - you guys need to work together for a better and clearer communication <3

    Even though your brother called although he shouldn't have, sometimes man to man talks are much better in times like this. Your boyfriend understands you're serious because you involved your brother, and the letter was going to be written anyway.

    It's time to come forward completely open :)

    I think the more honest you can be in that letter, the better. You have a chance now to actually clear the space and start fairly new. New insights about each other, better judgement; maybe find common grounds where you can talk instead of fighting.
    You start with the realization that you love each other. That's something you WANT to fight to keep.

    Your brother helped clear any doubts, I think. Write the letter, await the boyfriend contacting you :)

    1|0
    0|0
    • I've sent it. The just of letter says that I love him without any doubt in my mind. That I don't want to fight and a few things about how he makes me smile and how I see a future for us if we work together instead of against each other. And a bit of soppy stuff too 😋. There was no blame in it, just love. I hope he contacts me when he receives it x

    • Show All
    • Exactly! ❤️ I think you've done the best you can.
      If you both want it to work, it takes joint forces.

      And as long as we know we've done everything we can, and our hearts are in it.. That's all we can do 😊

    • Thank you for the MHO! :)
      Let me know how it goes for you <3

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Don't stress yet lass, no he hasn't ruined it, what he did was stupid but it would seem your lad is more focused on the fact he wants to work on it, you can easily mention to your man you are sorry for the awkward situation with your bro and that you didn't expect him to do that

    0|0
    0|0
  • It sounds like he didn't fuck it up, but that's no excuse to meddle like that. Just because something went right, doesn't make it better considering he showed a lack of consideration, respect and responsibility to your request. Id give him shit

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not his business but at the same time he's your older brother and cares for your happiness and probably was trying to help. I actually think it'd help in all honesty. The boyfriend sees that this is serious to you as you spoke about it with your brother even. Don't get upset about it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I leave it till he contacts me now then? And if he doesn't it's not meant to me.

    • Show All
    • Thanks... at least i know I've done all I could and he knows how I feel. If he doesn't want to sort it out then I can walk away knowing I did all I could. X

    • Exactly. That's the best way to handle it for sure.

  • I am really happy that at the end all things are easy for you... the situation is very beautiful now...
    Sit back, wait for him to come to you... And ask you to come back.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Number #1. If you don't like a man just say so. No need to ask for permission. No need to tell him if this and if that. Period. Enough with the excuses to have him beg for your love again.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What is your brother doing, getting involved, calling him, without your permission?

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should find out exactly what your brother said to him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well his intentions were good, but he forgot one golden rule: never meddle with your siblings relationships.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell him to go outside

    0|0
    0|0
  • Give it some time.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Well. Your brother certainly shouldn’t have but I don't know what this has to do with your pride. You made the decision to write it and you made the decision to send it even if you hadn’t already done so.

    How does your boyfriend knowing that you wrote it make this any different?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, your brother should have stayed out of it. You called him to confide in him and then he turns around and yaps to your bf? I feel like your bro overstepped the boundaries on that one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh my God
    I would kill my brother first

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...