Most Helpful Guy
At this point, I would advise you seek the help of a therapist. It's vital to address these issues with the help of a mental health professional. It's awful that you went through the shit you went through. Only a trained professional can provide you the care and assistance you need going through this. I would go so far as to say this is a necessary next step.
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Most Helpful Girl
I am so sorry, my sweet angel. You are not (pardon my French) "fucked in the head," you are a sweet, wounded little bird who needs light and love, peace and understanding. You need to let other people's light into your heart to chase away the darkness; your friends, family, maybe a therapist too, to help you cope and raise your vibration.