How do I break up with my girlfriend?

I want to break up with my girlfriend but I am one of those guys who won't do it over call or text but she is busy and I never see her so I don't know how to do it, she has told others that she loves me and I love her but she doesn't open my messages, she does have some mental health issues like depression, which I also am diagnosed with, and I know what she has been through and if I break up with her I'm afraid she might start self harming again , I love her but in a relationship there should be effection, which we don't really have, she will text me every now and then to say she loves me but I haven't seen her personally in a month, I want to break up with her but she is my first girlfriend and I really love her but she doesn't deliver the affection I need from a partner and it often times leaves me laying in bed sad

How do I break up with my girlfriend?
Updates:
Thank you to everyone who helped me through this I asked her why she wouldn't answer me and she said "I need to figure stuff out" which she says every week so I told her I'm not doing it anymore

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just tell her how you feel and you've lost interest in her before she gets to know from somewhere else

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • But I haven't lost interest in her, it's that she doesn't respond to me, and it makes me think I did something wrong

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    • Good luck bro and don't worry everything's gonna be Alright

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What Girls Said 9

  • You need to take the time to talk to her first. Tell her that you really love her and don't want to lose her, but also explain what you need from her in the relationship. If you have a talk and she's willing willingness with you, then you won't have to break up. If she's not willing to, then you should leave.

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  • If she blames you for self harming that her own fault and don't feel guilty about it. Breaking up is a normal part of life and the dating process so don't let her inability to cope with life rub off on you personally. I would tell her and make it a clean break. She'll probably get angry but it's really not worth sticking around hearing insults about yourself. Some people think any attention is better than no attention and it's common in break ups for people to try and justify being mean

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  • Before breaking up, initiate contact. Ask her out to the movies. Pursue her. Woo her. And, if still then, she rejects your advances, call her up and say that you need to meet with her seriously and discuss with her whether you should break up. Since she has depression, don't just make the final decision all on your own. Bring her in with you and have an adult conversation about what you want out of the relationship and how you feel about the current state of your relationship. Use "I feel"statements unste add of accusatory statements that start with "You, etc." Say, "I feel lonely when you never call" instead of "You never call and leave me hanging all the time." Because she'll get defensive and mad/sad at the latter statement whereas, if she has a heart, won't be angry for you expressing your true and honest feelings. Just be honest, too. That's key. And, if you're still worried about how should deal with the repercussions of breaking up, maybe see a relationships counselor or even her counselor to discuss which ways are best, in her mental situation, to break up with the least damage on her part. That's the best advice, I can give ya. Hope it goes well...

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  • Have you tried talking to her about the relationship issues? You shouldn't end it over that unless you talk it out and change first.

    Second, if you are dead set on breaking up with her, her self harm, depression, and mental health issues are not your responsibility, or your fault. Let her deal with that her own way.

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  • You need to ask her to take time to speak to her. Tell her that while you love her, the love you feel is different now. You will always offer her support but you need to find what makes you happy now.

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    • But that is part of the problem my love for her hasn't changed but she is busy with work and school and community helping

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    • No it wouldn't

    • Then you need to tell her you need her love. Be understanding, be supportive, but ask for what you need, what you deserve. Love inspires love.

  • Maybe you should message her and tell her I how you are feeling. That you feel like she is neglecting the relationship and it makes you want to not be in anymore.

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  • @Nozomi there's a lot of good advice. Mine is simple, life is too short to live miserably.

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  • Just break up and done. You shouldn't have problems because of her.

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  • Ask her once again 😐

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What Guys Said 21

  • Have you actually spoken tobher about all your concerns? Tried to find ways to work through them?
    If you have then just find anyway of contacting her and tell her you need to speak to her face to face asap. If she dosent find time for you within a week or so then just do it by message or phone. If she can't find the time or dosent at least explain why she can't then you can't mean that much to her

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  • You cannot sacrifice your happiness for the sake of someone else's wellbeing. If your girlfriend has serious issues with depression she needs to seek the right help to deal with and manage that.
    Bottom line is you have to look after yourself, what good will saving her from self harm if it means you are feeling sad every day.
    You must do what's right for you, no matter how wrong it may feel. It's not easy, but good luck

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  • Let her get smashed drunk at a party and let one of your buddies go buck wild on her. Then you can dump her for cheating.

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    • I don't really have friends and we are both against social gatherings

  • I mean it doesn't sound like you really have a problem mate πŸ˜‰ if it's only an unstable emotional period, I would try to fight with it and hold it πŸ™‚ if your relationship is working and you know you see her in some time less then 3 months.. I insist you to keep her by your side πŸ™‚ if you know she is happy and you want to break up with her because you're not happy, that's a bit selfish you know? πŸ™‚ I would firstly talk it through ☺️

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    • I want to talk to her about it to see if she feels the same still but she hasn't opened my messages in 3 days

    • Oh yeah πŸ™‚ think it through πŸ™‚ you'll definitely not ruin anything if you'll just talk to her πŸ™‚ and yes, definitely don't break up with her through text messages 😊

  • If she is the type of person who doesn't read your texts or doesn't meet you often, then just don't do anything. Just don't contact her, block her number, her e-mail and live your life. She will understand herself that you have broken up with her.

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  • Honestly man, it's going to hurt really bad. But you have to do what you have to do. I suggest sitting her down alone, out side inside or wherever and just saying it nicely, tell her why your doing it, and have a sincere tone. When your done leave, it will hurt for a while you sound like a good guy, but give her some space and maybe you can be friends If she is alright with it

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  • Hard truth of the matter is that you dont love yourself and you don't have a life do you? Get a life and love yourself. Then focus on sharing your amazing life and love with her if she wants it. She's not there to entertain you or save you from yourself. No girl is.

    Alternatively I could tell you to dump her and find another girl who is equally pathetic and needy as you, so you can both distract each other from your selves.
    Not easy to read this but please be honest with yourself

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    • I know I don't have much if a life but it's hard to when I live in a 5 house neighborhood in the middle of nowhere and I know she isn't here to entertain me, but a response to a how r u text at night would be nice if she had a bad day she can talk to me or just say I don't feel like talking about it, but I live in a small farm area were everyone is very judgmental and she is one of the only nice people I have met that I can relate to, so I don't live myself or rather I didn't till I met her because she helped me see the good in me without her I would still probably be sitting in my bed crying all day, even though she doesn't answer, it's still nice to know that there is someone I can talk to about our future

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    • I've been slowly working on getting out more and joining in events but it's hard with my social anxiety, so it is taking a little longer than I expected

    • Good man. Keep going. It's not easy. I had social anxiety too. But thankfully I found a good social circle and I was able to gain my confidence over next few years. Still I don't find it comes natually but i know I can do it when I need to switch on my positivity and confidence. You'll get there. Don't give up

  • If you don't see each other and only seldomly call or text, you don't have a relationship. You have an arbitrary digital connection to another person.

    You need to call /text and say, "We need to talk". Then follow through.

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  • U have to just tell her you need to talk set a date and do it I understand you down want to upset her but staying with her whist having these feelings are worst as she is being fed a lie

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  • Have you expressed your concerns to her? If you haven't, I strongly suggest that you set up a dinner night in with her and express your concerns and give her a chance to make some changes.

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  • look man don't break up, just ca her and you guys can talk or go on Skype, but dont break up i know how it feels but sometimes you just have to through with it... and be carefull she won't suicide

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  • Uh if you "never see her" then how are you allegedly in a relationship with her at all in the first place.

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  • Don't worry buddy. Tell her ur feeling. U both discuss and come out with a solution. Don't breakup

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  • Go to her and tell her the truth. Stringing it along will make it hurt more.

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  • Just tell it's over.

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  • Tell her the truth about you

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  • Keep me πŸ˜‚

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  • Ask for her mobile password

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  • Kill her. Its the only way. Gl

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  • This might help. Meet her. Hold her upside down. Do 3 piledrives.

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