Is it safe to say women get over heart break faster than men?

Just something I've recently noticed. The women I talk to can be in relationships for years, go through a terrible break up, and be in love with someone else a couple months later. While the men can take a couple years before getting into another relationship. Why is this?
Updates:
I understand this is an extreme generality, but you can't tell me you haven't noticed women that women have an easier time at least finding someone else to ease the pain

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Most Helpful Girls

  • GOD NO! Not true at all I've been trying to get over certain guy's for years and I still feel a little bit of hurt every time I see them. It's just the female ego will like to pretend we don't care and we can just go get another man because we're secretly hurt and don't want guys to know about it

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  • It may seem that way for you, it's surely not that clear on our end. I see the opposite mostly. :)
    Your question did get me to look back and see what I did myself. I'm actually the one taking years between my partners.

    I do have a theory though, and that is when a woman finally ends a relationship/break up/divorce; she's already been in the process for a long time. She's tried different things, exhausted her options. Once she breaks up/end/divorce.. She's done.

    At least, that is how it's been for me when I have ended relationships.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I would like to make one major point... getting into a new relationship does NOT mean that you have moved on just as not being in a new relationship is no indication of a failure to move on. No I don't think women get over heartbreak faster than men. I think it usually hurts more for women and new relationships are a coping mechanism. It's easier to forget the pain by replacing it with something that makes you feel good. For guys a bad relationship can either make them reflect on it, or leave a bad taste in their mouth that makes them avoid relationships for a time. Or they realize they aren't ready for a relationship and decide not to focus on trying to find one. So... yeah all of those are possibilities.

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  • What I've seen in many cases is that, when someone comes out of a relationship and dives straight into a new one it's because it was pre-planned. Don't ever think it's random, it was planned while being in the relationship at the time.

    The person will never admit it and most likely try hide it but once you start piecing things together you'll see over time this hasn't happened over night...

    But anyways
    It's not just solely one gender, everyone does it!

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    • Very true. Guys should never think they are the only one because they rarely are.

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What Girls Said 52

  • I have guys that I still haven't completely gotten over, and it's been at least 10 years for one of them. In my experience, when my relationships were falling apart there almost always was another guy there talking to you, letting you vent, trying to swoop in and be the "good guy" and that's usually who you ended up dating next. Not always, and not saying this is the case for every one, just what I have experienced in the past, it's like they can sniff out a dying relationship. lol. Or either we cry it out, maybe change our hair, get a new outfit, or some kind of ego boost, and a new confident attitude and pretend we are over them, even if we aren't. But you best believe there are still days when all you think of are the what ifs and whys and hear sad songs that make you think of them. I couldn't tell you how many times songs have gotten the best of me. But now that I'm older, I don't jump from one relationship to the next like I did when I was younger. Shoot, I hardly even date now, for a couple of reasons. But yes and no to girls getting over break ups faster... we are good at pretending to be over you but sometimes we still aren't over you, even after all these years. We're just better at hiding it I guess 🤷

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    • If I may ask, is that one guy in particular "the one who got away"? If you wouldn't mind, could you please explain what happened, that even after 10 years you still miss him. If you don't want to talk about it, I completely understand and respect that. But whoever he was, he sure seemed to leave an impression. And sorry about everything you've been through, all the heartbreak. I will say a prayer that God helps heal your heart and that you find true love and all your dreams come true. May peace be with you, and God bless

    • I believe he is. And the thing is we never actually dated. But he was my first for a lot of stuff. We had a huge connection physically and emotionally. We could sit and talk for a long time and even had 3hr phone conversations at times. He ended up moving back home which is half way across the country. Even then, we talked all the time and he was my best friend. Over 1000 miles between us and he still felt closer than some people in the same town as me. Years later we still have each other on social media pages even though we don't talk as much now as we used to. But we've grown to have the same views and morals and other stuff in common, and if it wasn't for the distance, I could see us being together as an awesome couple. So yes, he is literally the one that got away. I feel like if he had stayed here we would have ended up in a real relationship.

  • Depends entirely on coping strategies. But if we speak in general terms, probably. Women tend to be better at processing their emotions because we are encouraged to do so, whereas men are conditioned to bottle things up and not talk to anyone about their issues, because it isn't "manly" or "masculine" to process and talk about your feelings as a man. Therefore, women are usually better equipped when it comes to process their feelings, which in return means that they have the potential to get over things faster (the word "potential" being very important here, as this is certainly not the case for every woman). Whereas for many men, they will end up bottling everything up and trying to suffocate their feelings instead of processing them, which in turn means that these feelings will keep bubbling up over a longer period of time.

    "women have an easier time at least finding someone else to ease the pain"
    Finding someone to act as a band-aid is kind of like the tactic men use with bottling their feelings up, though. It might give you temporary relief and a temporary ego boost, but when you find someone to act as your rebound, you're also essentially pushing your feelings away and not letting yourself process them completely. So just because women have an easier time to grab ahold of the first person they can find after a breakup, it doesn't necessarily mean they're moving on faster, or that it's helping them in the long run. If anything, they're just running away from their feelings, and they will have to end up processing them eventually. It's not really easing the pain as much as it is a distraction, and distractions can be found in many places, not just rebounds (for example: hobbies, friends, family, work etc).

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  • I can only imagine if someone, male or female, gets over a relationship faster than their ex does, it's because they experienced a lot of negativity before the actual end of the relationship and perhaps they feel relieved when it finally ends.

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  • Um , it's not that way. It totally depends on the person i've seen both of the girls who couldn't get over their ex and ones who fall in love every week. But normally break up is a bad experience for everyone but people show or not show their feelings by getting into new relationships or staying single or anything that gives them comfort. And no it's not safe to say how all women are by seeing few women reactions.

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  • I guess that thats more of an personal thing. For me a lovesickness lats at least a half to a whole year while a lot of guys I know act like nothing happened just a few weeks after a breakup.
    Usually, a breakup is harder for the one who invested more in the relationship, the gender doesn't matter here.

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    • "Finding someone else" doesn't necessarily make you feel better though. I made the mistake to agree on getting together with my boyfriend just about 4 months after my last breakup and it didn't stopped me from still feeling lovesick and dreaming almost everynight of my ex for about the next year. It's not nice to wake up in tears because of your ex and then feel guilty because you see your partner next to you.

  • Guys and girls both have this stupid habit of immediately trying to get into a different relationship to ease the pain of heartbreak, doesn't mean we're any less heartbroken. A lot of the girls I know either go into a slump and won't socialize or immediately find a rebound who they don't care about just to try and forget or make him jealous ; feel sorry for hurting her. No not safe to say.

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  • I don’t think it’s that way for all one gender. It took me years to get over my first ex and he was seeing other girls within a matter of weeks. It all depends on the person and the circumstances of the break up.

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  • I don’t think it can be generalized by gender. It just depends how attached you got to the relationship and so on. Some people, guys or girls, can get over a break up very quickly, others can’t. Personally it’s a lot harder for me to get over my exes than it took for my exes to get over me.

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  • Most men I know marry again after a divorce , or after the death of their spouse. But most women I know remain single for a long time, or even Indefinitely

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  • I can't remember the actual study, but there was an study I read that explained this. I do know men, once they fall in love, fall much harder than a woman who falls in love.

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  • yes. i know dudes who r wrecked over 1 girlfriend. i think its because guys dont have a strong friend system like girls do. we tell each other everything and guys dont do that as often. they kinda pour everything into 1 person like putting ur eggs all in 1 basket

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  • I take years to get over someone if I was really serious about them. 5-7yrs. Will I still date other people in that time hoping to quicken the pace I get over someone... hell yes.

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  • Girls can tend to move on faster as if they have been the one to end the relationship, it’s often a result of months of thinking about leaving their s. o. So when the time actually comes they do get the courage to leave, they find it easier to move on with life as they mentally prepared for the break up whereas the boy may have been less aware.

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  • Nope. My ex got with someone else weeks after we broke up. For a whole year I was in heartbreak and then got over it after I realised how badly he treated me.

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  • I think a man should acting modern and be as it always was just protecting and protective to a woman and not asking questions wherein woman need to act as if they are the man with the questions.

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  • I always thought it was the opposite. That men get over the break up much quicker than women.

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    • I thought that myself, it seems that way in my recent experience anyway

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  • I would say depends on how serious the relationship. If it's one where the guy doesn't even consider it a relationship, then the girls going to be much more hurt, for weeks or months versus if she was the one who didn't take something casual serious. But I think for longer more committeed relationships women move on faster. I think it's because women anticipate men's needs (whereas men would rather directly ask what is expected of them to do) and when she's gone, men realize it her absence much more strongly than women miss feeling unappreciated. This is a generalization, and not for all circumstances, like cheating and stuff.

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    • Sooo... your explanation is that men are assholes, and mistreat their women.
      You bet your ass it is a generalisation. And a bad one.
      All I can say is that if this is what you think men do - this is the kind of man you deserve.

    • Haha
      Women are unappreciated?

  • I think we do, because we usually tend to let our feelings out, we cry, sometimes bitch with our girlfriends, talk about him etc... But men, they simply bottle everything up n therefore it consumes them

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  • Because I don't want to waste my life being depressed

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  • Yes cz i personally prepare for tge break up beforehand. When i feel distant from my boyfriend i take a hint and emotionally prepare myself for the breakup so that i won't be depressed later.

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What Guys Said 70

  • There may be some truth to what you're saying, but I think it's a lot more exaggerated than reality. There's a paper that states that women tend to initiate breakups more, and that the people who experience less "post-breakup grief" are the individuals that actually initiate the breakup.
    http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-30907-001

    However, you may be confusing coping mechanisms with actual resolve. Women do not necessarily get over breakups more than men, but their usual behavior might not reflect that if you're using men's behavior as a metric. I'm not saying that that's the case, but I am just postulating based on what you said.

    For example, a lot more men resort to alcoholism than women when trying to recover from a breakup (https://tinyurl. com/ya9pwkb8). So, you're less likely to see women binge-drinking, which may lead to the false negative assumption that they're over a breakup.

    In any case, there's a lot of speculation on my part, but these are just some thoughts to consider.

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  • agreed. harder for guys. society has for years influenced men to repress or ignore their feelings, takes us longer to even figure out how we are feeling about things. All the pressure of not sounding like a fag or a pussy around your boys or coworkers and trying to be a man.. let it out. cry. talk about it with your female friends. get the feelings out if u hold them in they will quite literally kill you.

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  • In general, women get over it faster because they have more support to talk to about it, and help them through it. Guys don't generally open up about their feelings to friends, and maybe family so the feelings that need to be expressed usually sit much longer. Girls just have a better support group. I read several articles on this.

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  • Let me lay it out. The sadness gradient of heartbreak is different for men and women. Women feel extremely upset at the start, but it gradually fades. Men dont get affected as much but as time goes by he starts getting more and more heartbroken, and after the peak is over he still needs to heal up, which effectively means men take a longer time to get over heartbreak.

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  • Well, girls are generally more emotionally active than boys. Consequently they know better how to deal with various emotions by their experience. We boys, on the other hand, spend most of the time fighting and having fun. Most of us encounter our emotions for the first time when a girl walks into your life with loads of happiness and lovely emotional and happy moments. We get easily addicted to that.
    When the girl walks out, we simply get devastated because we never had to deal with emotions that much. It's just like when you tie up a drug addict and not give him what he craves.
    Although, in a way, it is a good thing. By letting us go girls teach us (well force us) to deal with our emotional side. Try and remember when was the last time you sat with your male friends and had emotional talks with them WITHOUT GETTING DRUNK and being conscious when it actually matters? Let me be clear this doesn't mean girls are always right leaving their partner. But neither are boys.
    Also, girls can even hide their emotions and real feelings from you. You might look at then from far away and think they have moved on so quickly and having the time of their life with her girlfriends or new boyfriend but actually they are still damaged on the inside.
    So girls are not faster in dealing with emotions, they are just complicated.

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    • That's what I said, us girls are better at pretending to be over you even when we actually aren't. I can "stop caring" about a guy in a matter of seconds, it's just me putting on a different attitude and being very blunt towards them, even though deep down I want to talk to them the way we used to. It's like a defense mechanism. I don't want to get hurt so I "stop caring" about them. Even though deep down behind the fake "I don't care, I've moved on, I don't love you anymore" attitude, I actually do care and do still love them. If that makes any sense at all. lol. It's the best way to describe it. That's how I am anyway, it's just so I don't get hurt anymore.

  • Ac

    Yes.
    Girls are so much emotional. But they have tendancy to accept change quickly and move forward. That's why they gets in new relation faster than a guy.

    guys are opposite to this. so they need much time to overcome this change in relationship.

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  • Yeah, most women I've known are in a new relationship within maybe a month of a break up. Most guys take about 2-4 years, out of the people I've known.

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  • I'll assume you mean the person who was dumped.
    I personally think its about even. Men hide it better, so they seem fine when they move on, and women tend to jump into the next relationship which generally ends the same way, but seem to be ok.
    In general, for older couple's, when the partner dies, men wither away faster then women. It could be because women tend to be more independent.

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  • Its boths high then high each others... no any one Is low... even I think in every reltn when realty is opposite from our expectations from others then our heart break... we all lost in dream day or night but like me only few lucky person lives in practical.. with believe in karamas nd exptns from others 000% .

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  • On average, possibly. But it's more down to the individual and their circumstances and lifestyle than it is to gender, so we should allow that there are women, particularly older ones, who have a hard time moving on. There may also be an element of the grass looking greener on the other side.

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  • Don't count this type of humans as a woman
    And this is probably a disadvantage cause the next one can play her easily, if you fall in love and you broke up it doesn't mean you have to keep your honor and raise your nose up when it comes to love we all do loose some precious things

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  • My ex seemed to be over me faster. She had another man two weeks later posting pics and all that. I talked with her on phone the other day which would be about 2 1/2 months since the official end. She was still dating the guy but an absolute mess. She said it all hit her at once. She took the males approach to getting over it in my opinion. I didn’t but I’m not your typical man.

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  • It isn't 'heartbreak' if you get over it quickly.
    Men bond. Women mate. It is far easier to replace a breeding mate than it is to get over a deep bond.
    I do believe that women have the capicity to bond. They are just biologically programmed to reserve it for their prodigy.

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  • Could be true? I have a lot of friends who are girls that I've noticed seem to bounce back quickly. However for the most part, they hid their feelings and just got on with their lives hiding how they truly felt until they were alone. Guys do that too though I suppose... tough question!

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  • no, it's individual. I think women often need to focus on another person to help forget. Besides I have female friends who have past dates on their phone, social media, whatever else, and talk about them for years after

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  • It's called rebounding. It doesn't mean they are over it. It means they are in pain but they are literally filling the hole with another person. Men do the same. But it's easier for a woman to pull, than it is for a guy. Men want sex. If a women signals that she's offering sex she'll find a man in minutes. It's much harder for men to pull a woman unless they find a woman who's rebounding

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  • Personally I've noticed the opposite so I'm not sure why you think men are that way. There are men who get hurt but I feel on average women are more emotionally vunerable. It's not a bad thing or good thing it just is.

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  • Women mature faster than men, so they tend to learn from experiences faster.

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    • Also, no one wants a broken man, and instead of fixing ourselves we look for someone else to do the fixing

  • Dude... if they truly love you... then they try to find other ways... like moving... being around people that keep them from thinking about you. It may seem like it because women don't tell us how they feel.

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  • Have noticed women fall in and out of love slightly easier, but that's not to say both sexes aren't equally affected by a breakup. Guys tend to hold their emotions inside and typically won't talk about it to a whole lot of people.

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