Guys...Why are you a coward when it comes to breaking up?

I went with this guy for a couple months. We worked together and we hung out a couple times a week, got to know each pretty well, made out, cuddled. He was 20, had roommates, somewhat of a loner/stoner, dropout. Me on the other hand not a big partier, college, quiet. We respected each other. The last night we were together we had a really great night, made out, cuddled, talked, etc. Then out the blue he's moving (which I knew that) about 15 minutes away which is no big deal, but he didn't bother to tell me that he was transferring to another restaurant location that we work for. I found out on his last day! Then he asks me to come see him at his new store since he doesn't have a phone. He did not give me his new address. I told him no that he needed to call me with his schedule so I would know when he would be there. Which he said he would. Haven't heard from him since. I would have much preferred that he just told me bye, see ya, have a nice life instead of just leaving me hanging. Another guy that hangs out with him sometime to smoke pot told me I should go see him. I told him no I'm sticking by my guns so that way if he contacts me I know he wants to be with me. Well that call is never going to happen, but why be a coward and a jerk about it? It more or less just gave me a blow to my ego, but really!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Actually I wouldn't limit this to guys. I think people have trouble telling the truth, because they preempt all of the reactions and fallout that will occur, if they did tell you the truth. Most of the time, when someone hears bad news, the reaction is never good; I personally don't like to see people cry, if their getting their heart broken (I like seeing them cry, when watching a romance / drama movie though, don't know why).

    Some people think that it's easier if they reduce the amount of methods that they can be contacted, by dodging you, and taking the passive approach, rather than telling you straight to your face. I know very few people that actually deal with conflict well; most people I know, try to avoid it like the plague! I mean think about it, sometimes white lies are better to hear than the truth, only because they're more digestible from the real reasons.

    That's why you always hear the lines, "It's not you, it's me". That's more digestible than, "No, it's not really me, but it's been you for quite sometime, but I didn't get around to saying anything, because really I don't care any more" etc.

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    • That's true but that would be better than just leaving you hanging...what a jerk!

    • Haha, yeah, you're right. Some people just don't know how to deal with situations, and you'll always come across jerks, male or female.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • We're cowards about break ups because we're afraid you're going to shoot us. "No wrath in hell like a woman's scorn"... or however it goes.

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    • Well the jerk never called but he did come to my work last Saturday when I wasn't there and his roommate came in and asked my boss if he had ever called me. How about that? Why didn't his roommate just ask him instead of asking my boss. Doesn't make since to me. It's hard to get over someone when this stuff happens.

    • yeah, it sucks.

  • Could be that he felt he wasn't good enough for you but most likely he's just an idiot.

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    • I will go for the idiot because I never made him feel like he wasn't good enough; quite the opposite.

    • Well, a guy can feel he's not good enough just because of lack of self esteem. But yeah probably just a dumbsh*t, or he didn't really like you. I've been with girls who just randomly drifted away from me and it was usually because they didn't like me but didn't want to say anything, so hey just disappearing and not answering the phone is the way to go hahahaha.

What Girls Said 2

  • Sorry that happened to ya,and your ego sounds a bit bruised,i would feel the same...but honestly he doesn't sound that great anyway. He doesn't sound like he has much going on in his life at the moment anyway. Girls and Guys do it...AVOID confrontation at all costs. He knew what he was doing...slowly cutting you off and avoiding confrontation in the process. Don't bother to contact him...its not really worth it. He's gone so you can find someone much better.

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    • I have already found someone better -- going to college for nuclear engineering, Air Force ROTC, an all around great guy!

  • stop complaining ya dopey sluut !

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