My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me this morning because of things I said when I was drunk last night. We live together and also have a dog together - he is my best friend and the person I want to marry. We were fighting earlier in the day because he said I snapped at him and I felt the only reason I snapped at him is because he was talking down to me and being rude. We agreed to let it go but I don't think either of us felt at peace. He went out to dinner and I had too much wine to drink at home and when he came back the fight resurfaced and I said awful things about him and his family - saying that I hope his friends abandon him. I don't mean any of this, I know all the right buttons to push and in my blackout I did everything horrible. This morning when I woke up he was sleeping on the couch. When I left for the day, he texted me and said that I needed to find a new place to live and we'd have to figure out how to split the dog. I immediately texted him that we need to talk and I love him but he won't speak to me. I emailed him a long apology and acknowledged that my problems with anxiety and drinking are ruining our relationship and that I am signing up for therapy. I love him so much and I am panicking that I've ruined this forever.