Cheated 2 years ago on my girlfriend, Admitted half a year ago, yet there's a problem?

Okay so, I'm 18 years old and my girlfriend is 17. Back when our relationship was quite young around two years ago and all... I've only flirted with one girl and it was just a period of week that I flirted with her and stopped... I've admitted with what I've did due to confidence that my Girlfriend will understand... I've never cheated on her after that, I've never had sex with anyone else other than her. I've even gotten a tattoo on my Ring Finger of her name... She of course got mad and later told me that she forgiven me. Of course I wasn't quite sure if that's going to help in my relationship, Currently she still remembers of it and she says that those "thoughts" as she recalls won't go away... The "thoughts" that it would never happen in our relationship with Infidelity. She gets depressed a lot from it and yet she says she'll be fine, I wish to help her and yet I feel so regretful of what I did in the past to her. As she told me yesterday she still thinks of it ..

My question is this, What is she going to do about it..? Leave me? Forget about it one day...? Or anything else in much worse state? For I truly love her and I've given up on everything in my life for her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I KNOW HOW EXACRLY You FEEL FRIEND. MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME AND TRY TO GET AHOLD OF ME AND TRY GETTING ME BACK. HE GOT MY NAME ON HIS BACK WITH ALL THESE HEART ANDE DESIGNS. I FORVIGE HIM BUT MORE THAN THAT BECAUSE I LOVED HIM. BUT THOSE R JUST SIMPLY WAYS OF ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS, I WILL ADVICE You TO BE VERY PATIENT WITH HER. THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY HOW WOULD You FEEL IF SHE WAS THE ONE THAT CHEATED. FLIP THE SCRIPTS (NOT SOO GOOD RIGHT?) BE UNDERSTABLE. SHOW HER THAT You HAVE CHANGED. BE MORE LOVING, ROMANTIC AND SHOW MORE AFFECTION TO HER. WIN HER TRUST BACK AND ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH HER SOON SHE WILL GAIN UR TRUST AND EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL..I HOPE I HELPED You FRIEND. IF You NEED MORE ADVICES You CAN ALWAYS MESSAGE ME! :)

    SINCERELY,

    THE WISE ONE

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    • Thanks for the advice Wise One! But As I recall, I've did changed and I am more loving, I actually spend everyday and hour and minute with her. Point is, I always look through her frame of mind. Always think of myself instead in her shoes as to how she feels and all... Each time she reminds me of what happened. Everything becomes completely blank and quiet. For I don't even know what to say next because I already know what she's going to say about it with the lines "I'll be fine", etc.

    • I SEE JUST BE A LITTLE MORE PATIENT. SHE NEED TO MOVE ON. IF THIS CONTINUES TO HAPPEN I THINK You NEED TO TALK TO HER HONESLTY FACE TO FACE. LET HER KNOW HOW MUCH You REGRET EVERYTHING AND THAT UR GICING UR ALL TO BE A BETTER PERSON. BUT SHE NEEDS TO FORGIVE You AND FORGET EVERYTHING THAT HAPPEN. IF You GUYS MOVE ON EVERYTHING THAT WAS IN THE PAST IS BURY AND SHOULD NEVER BE BROUGHT IT UP! BECASUE SHE FORGAVE You SO SHE NEEDS TO MOVE ON AND FOCUS IN MAKING A BETTER RELATIONSHIP AND BETTER FUTURE FOR You 2

    • Aye I understand from what you're saying but this isn't easy as it seems. Despite that I told her that everything will be fine, All of what you said is exactly what I'm doing every time she mentions it I keep saying of what you said about the regret everything I've did in the past. Yet still, she's depressed. she keep's saying she's having a mental issue with it and she doesn't wish to consul with medication. But I guess patience and time will tell. Many thanks for the extra advice and help!

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What Girls Said 9

  • God, I understand your girlfriend completely. Then again I understand your side too! My boyfriend hurt me like that like a year ago, and sometimes I Just think about that, I over analyze what he could have been talking to that girl about, or why he wanted to, and if she thinks she is beautiful and all that mumbo jumbo... Its hard, I know he loves me But I just don't understand. I think that she stayed with you because she knows that she wants to be with you, It will just take time for her to get over it, however long that may be. Sometimes when I bring up when my boyfriend has hurt me, he gets discouraged, he asks me if I am ever going to get over this... and when I think about it, I really already have, that's why I stayed with him... I think maybe just a little extra loves help me keep my mind off of it.

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    • Thanks for the quick comment Keli! Anyway, I've read what you said and it seems abit simliar as to what me and her have. Only that I try really hard to give every bit of Love that I have towards her. Still nothing seems to help. I think my options are limitless right now to what to do next, Quite odd that I just can't stay quiet and see her suffer from those thoughts as she remembers them time to time. As I remember she said that her thoughts cannot be changed.

  • You should be asking these questions to her. Ultimately communication is the key to a successful relationship. Just be honest with her and voice your concerns. If she can't forgive you then yes in the long run it will not work out, if she can forgive you then there is hope.

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  • Give her some time to face the truth ... and "accept" what u've done to her. meanwhile, show her every single day you love her. if she truly loves u, she will forgive but not forget. BUT even if she truly loves u, she might leave you ... since you may have hurt her feelings real bad and she may feel like u're not worth it.

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  • So.. you just flirted with someone else?

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  • if you want to fix it and stop her from holding it over your head go to a counselor...she needs to figure out if she figures you or not.

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  • Yes, it's hard for women to get over this. Just tell her you told her because you respect her & want a fresh start. Reassure her it will never happen again & stick to it. Give her some time to build trust.

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  • my boyfriend of 6 years just kissed another girl 4 years ago and I forgave him but I still get sad over it. I bring it up all the time and he say how much he was stupid and sorry about it but she will probably always be sad about it. just remind her how much you only love her

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  • give her time.

    to her this is all new and its like it happened yesterday

    shell get over it, it was just flirting.

    just keep reminding her that you love her and only her

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  • I don't think she's going to leave you. Just give her some time. You cheated 2 years ago but to her its only been 6 months.

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What Guys Said 3

  • So, hang on a second here. What is flirting with you and only for a week? Could you mean f***ing around perhaps? Because really, flirting can happen with anyone and as long as you realize not to go beyond words. So what is really up? If so, why are you so concerned about your girlfriend leaving you. You really didn't do anything extremely wrong if flirting is the only thing you did.

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  • If she stuck around she's probably not going to leave. But I'd watch out for a guy who might sneak up and remind her of how depressed she is about the whole situation and how he wouldn't disrespect her in that way or whatever. You can't erase it and she can't forget it. she might move on and it just depends. Hopefully she won't do the same thing. its all about trust and time. Talk to her about it. hopefully she doesn't show signs of resisting the conversation for too long.

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    • Heh, I know how would this go if there was a guy, Yadda yadda yadda. But Thing is, She does resist the conversation usually by saying that she doesn't want to remind it. Usually with an excuse or so telling me she doesn't want to make me feel bad of what I've did. Thanks for your opinion and advice though.

    • Well yw. I don't know your girl but to me personally it doesn't make sense for a chick to not want to bring something up that deeply hurt her. My main concern would be is that she doesn't stay in a place that she can't get out of because of what I had done. You should be able to speak openly and freely with one another about everything and you should let her know that. I would just want to know for sure she knows that I would die before I'd damage her world again. is all.

  • Cummon dude, you cheated. She should be mad at you. What would you do if you were in her place?

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