A break-up has really shaken my confidence?

I recently got dumped by a guy I cared about deeply. In fact I thought he was the One. He said the primary reason was that he is moving soon and he didn't think we had what it took to go the distance so to speak. It hurts because I miss him, but also because now I'm questioning why he felt I wasn't good enough to try to make it work, and how it was so easy for him to walk away. I'm even questioning if I will ever find anyone. I know this is a silly, neurotic way to think and I'm usually not like this. How can I shake this negativity?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Honestly only time will help, yeah it sucks, time seems to take forever in moments like this. But Its the only thing that will help. Maybe go to a gym and try to become more fit? Maybe you are already fit and its a personality thing? then go read self help books. The secret is a really good book.

    But honestly, go listen to depressing music for the next week, eat that ice cream and then the following week go out and have fun. That might help.

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    • totally agree with this answer.

      1. it takes time

      2. read a really good book

      3. go out and have some fun!

  • How long were you guys together? I went through the same thing with my ex recently and it hurt like hell. Like you I questioned why she wasn't prepared to try (despite HER being the one who wanted to give the LDR a shot) and what that said about me. It's harder for the person who stays behind as our lives are already in a stable and familiar environment. As a result we are able to prioritize our feelings and our relationships. However if your moving to a new city their are suddenly many other factors they have to deal with and new experiences to be had. I doubt any of this is directed at how he feels towards you but sadly you can find yourself slipping down their list of priorities whilst they sort out their new life. He probably hasn't had time to reflect like you and has been able to keep his mind occupied sorting his new life out. The worst thing is his feelings towards you may wane because your not on his mind all the time. This is a horrible situation to be in as you feel like you haven't done anything wrong but unfortunately it's out of your control. Months down the line when he is settled he may have time to reflect even miss you but do you really want to put your life on hold?

    It sucks but distance is a major test to any relationship (particularly if it is relatively new) but know that their is many factors to consider other than how he feels towards you.

    I still miss my ex every day but now know that all the aching and questioning won't bring her back. It's sad but sometimes things aren't meant to be no matter how strong the connection is. But don't blame yourself. Give yourself a bit of time to be heartbroken and don't worry about finding someone else. You found him didn't you!

    You can always keep in touch and see if anything changes down the line but remember whilst the distance is their you may never get what you want from this relationship. And do you really want to be limited to how often you can see each other? You have to put it down to factors out of your control and accept that nothing you could've done will change that. It will get better. It's been 2 months for me and although it still hurts I'm at least able to realize that it's not my fault!

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