Any advice on how to trust after being cheated on?

I have been cheated on a few times by men and have a very hard time trusting anyone anymore. I have a great boyfriend but I feel like eventually he is going to hurt me in some way. I have no trust in him and have looked through his phone before and always wonder if he has something going with someone else. I don't know how to trust and have a healthy relationship. Any advice for me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • An ex of mine also was going through the same things as you have. She was cheated on several times in the past, and no matter how much I tried to prove to her that I was different, she ended it saying that she thinks I would cheat on her.

    It's hard, but you'll have to realize that the current guy is not the same person the previous was. I'm not sure if that made sense, but, each person is different in a way. It's going to take quite a bit of effort to trust your current boyfriend completely, but try to see him for the person he is and don't base it on your exes.

    I truly hope you are able to get past this and that it doesn't hurt your relationship in any form. Best of luck!

    • Thanks so much for the response. I will do my best to put it behind me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I know it can be hard to trust again when you've been cheated on by an ex. My ex husband was quite the cheater, but if I look back I can see the clues that he was cheating that for whatever reason, I chose to ignore. That helps a bit, to realize that there are signs when a guy's cheating (instead of it being random and something that can be going on without your knowledge). Think back to your cheating ex and recall the warning signs and the excuses and the behavior.

    Trust is earned, and if you let your boyfriend know you have trust issues, he'll be patient while he gains your trust. But you gain his trust right back and keep yourself from snooping through his stuff (phones and etc). I know it's hard, but remind yourself that you need to trust him, and not violate his privacy, because you can really undermine the whole relationship by doing that.

  • I'm in the same state of mind =/ it really does suck because it's always in the back of my head. I still haven't really figured out what to do about it but my boyfriend knows how I am about it and he works through it with me. He's a great guy but it's hard trusting someone when you've been hurt so many times. There's only so much you can take. If you haven't tried talking with your boyfriend about it yet that might help. It helps me anyway. But try not to place everyone in the same category because there are good guys out there that would never even dream of cheating. You both just have to be honest with each other. Good luck (and any other advice you get please let me know!)


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