Why is ex-date weird around me at work?

He asked me out with his "heart jumping out of his shirt" as he said. I was new at work, we lightly talk but I see he kind of likes me, he takes another job but comes back a few months later, makes scope moves, asks me out with his "heart jumping out of his shirt". In dating says he hasn't been this happy in years, I'm highlight of his weeks, that we should do 'more than friends'. two months in I ask what he considers us as people at work are by now labeling us as 'exclusive'. He said 'only girls want a label, but I don't want to date or see anybody else.' Two days later, he gets into some unfair financial trouble. He gets down, I ask what I can do for him and he says '"all my fun is over, I can’t afford to do anything now," I say, "there’s tons to do for free". He's in complete klutz behavior kinesthetically. I end by giving him hug and say all will be OK. I call and text how’s he doing, but at work he begins to avoid eye contact, but leaves massage on cell playing his guitar for me, then less phone conversation happens, then mean/hurt/mad stares from across the work area, avoiding calls and text that asks what’s up, but then a few days later texts that he received my texts but can’t get back to me yet, then flirts with all (no exaggeration) single girls while avoiding me, then I ask him personally in parking lot of work if he’s OK or if he’s mad at me he says ‘I’m fine.’ I keep distance, nothing beyond courteous hi and work-affiliated questioning. I’m trying to be cool, but he is always so awkward around me: walks past me and not say hi but gives all other girls hi-five, but then come around when I’m aside minding my own business and strikes talk but as soon as other workers approach our area he abruptly ends and jumps right into theirs! I really grew to like and respect him but after a month of giving him space, I gave up on thinking that he still likes me. In the three months of no talk he’s dated all the singles at work, even the 18 year old he said was ‘indecent’ because she said stuff and touch his butt and was too young for him! Said he hated her and girls like that and wished they would be like that to him. Said he wasn’t a ‘frequent date guy’ and kept apologizing for not taking me on better dates I assured him I was easy-going and spending time just talking w/him was OK w/me, which surprised him, he reacts “you are easy going!” I keep on his comfort level physically, we don’t even kiss, which is OK w/me because I keep it for serious relationship. But why is he so awkward 3 months later: his face says ‘I like you’ then ‘I hate you.’ I’m thinking he’s trying to be nice but his feelings might be confused or he played me and knows it. I’m confused as to how I can act around him, what I can say or ask him. It hurts either way, played or not, and I feel like hiding under a rock at work: he makes me that uncomfortable. I don’t know if I like him or hate him now! He seemed good match, but what happened? How can I settle the awkwardness b/w us? I’m hurt.


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  • Ignore him completely. Be polite but cold. And talk to him only when absolutely necessary. Set your sights elsewhere.


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